


If we can find some light

by Lia_G



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe, And also for just mental health stuff in general, And maybe swearing just to be safe because the Party is like that, Angst, Eleven | Jane Hopper/Mike Wheeler-centric, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Mutual Pining, Rated T for mentions of El's abuse in the lab, Slow Burn, background lumax
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-10 03:23:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 60,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21455845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lia_G/pseuds/Lia_G
Summary: It's been six months since El escaped from the lab - six months since she stumbled through the woods and found Jim Hopper, the local police chief who takes her in and gives her a home.Together, they devise a plan to protect her from the sinister people who might still be looking for her, which includes finding somewhere safe for her to go during Hopper's three weekly night shifts at the station. Using a cover story, he gets her a part-time job at Benny's Burgers, where late night customers are scarce and won't ask too many questions.The rules are simple: lay low, keep to yourself, and avoid talking to anyone at length. El longs to lead a normal life outside of these confines - but, afraid of losing everything, she follows Hopper's guidelines without any trouble.Until one night, a boy with kind eyes and a warm smile comes in, wondering why he's never seen her around Hawkins before.
Relationships: Eleven | Jane Hopper/Mike Wheeler
Comments: 229
Kudos: 303





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, loves - after a very long season of one-shots, I am back with my second multi-chapter fic!
> 
> I have exercised heroic self-restraint and have been waiting for what feels like way too long to post this, so I'm beyond excited to finally share it. I really hope you enjoy the first chapter! (I've shared some key info in the end notes, so don't miss those)

_Hawkins, Indiana - 1987_

It was the third slam of his parent’s bedroom door that finally did it. 

Mike gritted his teeth as the force of it reverberated through the house, no doubt waking his little sister Holly and interrupting his already fitful homework session. 

“I can’t believe I have to go over this _ again_!” his mom shouted, her voice notably hoarse. His dad’s response was faint as Mike heard them clamber down the stairs, attempting to move the argument to a part of the house that no one would be able to hear them from.

Which was useless — Mike almost always heard; the full-blown fights and the day-to-day bickering, both of which seemed to be getting worse lately. Even the rare times he couldn’t hear them, he could feel tension emanating through the house, any misstep a potential trigger to set them off again. 

And Mike was sick of it.

He thought he’d gotten good at ignoring them. It was junior year, and between school and his friends he was busy, meaning that apart from nighttime, he was rarely home for long stretches anymore — not that his parents noticed, anyway. It wasn’t just that their arguing had increased lately, but that they seemed to care less about whether Mike or Holly heard them.

His older sister Nancy was away at college, lucky to be spared from the battleground the Wheeler house had become. But he kept her updated via their regular phone calls, during which she always told him the same thing: “Just get out of there when they’re at it, Mike. It’s not a good environment.”

The thing was, Mike _ knew _his parents weren’t happy together. The hints of it that he’d noticed as a kid solidified when he became a teenager, and his general awareness of people and relationships grew. It became clear that their marriage was one of convenience, the core problem being the fact that his dad was basically checked out: not just from his mom, but from Mike and his sisters, too. 

Mike saw rare glimpses of fatherly love, which, if he was being honest, came across more like begrudged duty. Sometimes he tried to engage Mike in conversation about things like sports, or future career prospects — both topics Mike cared very little about — so the dialogue was always stilted, awkward.

Ultimately, Mike wasn’t sure what to make of his dad; he didn’t know whether to be angry, or annoyed, or just plain sad about their less than ideal relationship. Most of the time, he ended up blocking those feelings out, just like the fighting, because allowing it in was too complicated. 

It was evident, though, that everything had become intolerable for Mike’s mom, and this was what the fights seemed to be centered around. Listening to them, even Mike knew it was a losing battle: he wasn’t confident his dad would ever change, and his mom seemed to be realizing that, too.

Hovering over everything was the loaded word he hadn’t heard either of them utter, at least not yet: _ Divorce_.

Despite how frustrated the fighting made him, deep down Mike wanted both of his parents to be happy — and he knew that if it didn’t stop soon, the chances of them being happy _ together _were slim. But divorce meant change. It meant him and his sisters shuffling back and forth during holidays, dealing with custody agreements, and, worst of all, the potential of leaving Hawkins.

Mike wasn’t particularly attached to the boring small town he’d grown up in, but it was where his friends were, and he was sure he wouldn’t survive somewhere new without them. Nevermind the fact that an imminent move would mean he’d have to start senior year elsewhere, an utterly terrifying prospect. 

So he was in limbo, then, listening to his parents argue every other night, trying to focus on homework as he wondered what all of it was going to amount to. 

Mike sighed, staring down at the sloppy equations he’d scrawled so far for his chemistry homework. There was a lot more to get through, and it was nearing 10 o’clock. Just then he heard the sounds of footsteps charging back up the stairs, and he grimaced as his mom’s voice rang out again.

“I am _ not _doing this anymore, Ted! I’m not!”

Her words were followed by yet another jarring slam of their bedroom door, and in a burst of frustration, Mike threw his pencil down and stood up from his chair. Acting on instinct, he reached for his backpack on the floor next to him and started loading books into it, Nancy’s voice echoing in his mind: _ Just get out of there when they’re at it_. 

He had pressing things to get done, and his parents had stopped taking note of when he left the house anyway. Enough was enough. 

He hurried down the hallway, halting when he got to Holly’s bedroom door. He opened it just a little, squinting in the glow of the nightlight that was always plugged in by her bedside. He released the breath he’d been holding when he saw that she was fast asleep. Even though she seemed fine, he felt a pang of guilt for leaving her alone in the midst of his parent’s fight. 

_ When was I _ ** _ever_ ** _ nervous to leave my little sister at home with them before all of this? _

The thought made him angry, fuelling his descent down the stairs and out the front door. The old station wagon he’d been given when his mom got a new car was parked at the end of the laneway as usual, and he was glad, knowing the sound of the engine would be too faint to hear from inside the house.

Mike could feel the tension leaving his shoulders as he turned off his street, and another wave of resentment passed over him. Nancy was right: it wasn’t a good environment, and his parents were supposed to make it feel safe and comforting, the way a home should be — and theirs had been, at one point.

He hadn’t thought about where he would go, and as he turned onto Main Street, he ran through the options for this time of night. In a town like Hawkins, the list was short, and since Mike wasn’t old enough to go to a bar, there was really only one option: Benny’s Burgers. 

It was the local greasy spoon diner, a go-to spot for when him and his friends were craving fries and milkshakes after school. It wasn’t exactly a short drive away, and Mike had never been there late at night, but it was worth a shot. 

He sighed, turning the radio dial up as he sped towards the outskirts of Hawkins. “Benny’s it is,” he muttered to himself.

* * *

The coffee was almost finished brewing, and El busied herself with wiping down the front counter as she waited. As usual, the handful of customers in the diner were either people working night shifts, or truckers doing long distance drives; both groups in need of caffeine at late hours. 

Most of her shifts were pretty slow, and this one was no exception. Benny was in the kitchen working on some food orders, leaving El to get through her usual chores: sweeping around the register, replenishing condiment bottles, organizing the drink fridge, and so on. All menial tasks requiring little thought, which El liked — it was nice to have simple things to focus on for a while.

That was the whole point of this job, anyway: to keep El safe and distracted while Hopper worked the late shift at the police station three nights a week. Although he’d never said it, she suspected one of the goals was also for her to learn to socialize, get acquainted with the conventions she missed out on while she’d been… in that place. 

_ The lab_, El thought reflexively. Hop had suggested she start referring to it as ‘that place’ in an attempt to dissociate from it, strip it of its sinister meaning — but that was proving to be harder than she imagined. Spending nearly 17 years of your life somewhere, however horrible, didn’t exactly make it easy to forget.

But she was trying.

She sighed, refocusing on the task before her. The job _ had _been good for that, helping her build something that resembled a normal life, even if she was still mostly hidden away in Hop’s cabin when she wasn’t at Benny’s. 

The diner’s evening shift roughly lining up with Hopper’s hours at the station was ideal, but it also served another purpose. The customers that came in from 8 p.m. to midnight were either regulars (that Benny usually sat and chatted with), or strangers passing through Hawkins; people that wouldn’t ask questions about El. Plus, it meant she wouldn’t be alone in the cabin at night, and if anyone from _ that place _showed up at Benny’s, Hopper was close by at the station and on high alert. 

It was a makeshift solution that, so far, had worked just fine.

As one of Hop’s longtime friends, it had been easy to convince Benny to let El work there. He didn’t know the truth, of course, but he was sympathetic to the story Hop invented: that, acting on a tip, he’d rescued El from an abusive home, which had to stay discreet because some of her family members had evaded police and might be looking for her.

He said it was temporary; that he was just taking care of her until someone could formally adopt her, and although El knew it was a lie, that part still stung. She’d been living with Hopper for half a year now, and it was more of a home than she ever imagined. The idea of leaving it, and him, was painful.

It took a while, but El had grown accustomed to the easy bustle of those three quiet evenings at the diner; chatting on and off with Benny, but keeping her infrequent conversations with customers short and polite. It was what Hop had cautioned, after all: _ Don’t get too chummy with anyone, kid. We can never be too careful. _

So she did just that — kept to herself as she tried to push away the omnipresent fear that someone could come for her at any moment and disrupt this halfway-life she’d started to build. 

Some days were harder than others. With all that she now knew, it wasn’t exactly the kind of life she would’ve chosen; being confined between two places, and having to keep her interactions with people limited. There were so many things she wanted to understand through experience, not just read about in the books Hop gave her, or watch on the small TV in their living room.

Still, this was more freedom than she’d ever known, and it was a good life, far better than she thought she’d have in her worst moments of despair. Despite its limitations, she was grateful.

The little bell above the doorway chimed and El flinched, unaccustomed to that sound anytime after 10, when the already slow stream of customers usually diminished entirely. She glanced up from behind the counter to see a boy shuffling inside, a large backpack slung over one of his shoulders. 

From her vantage point she could see that he was _ tall_, at least a foot or so more than her, and he looked to be about her age. El watched as he did a quick scan of the diner, and when he ran a hand through his unruly mop of black hair, an unfamiliar knot formed in her stomach. He was… _ beautiful_, she thought — there was no other word for it.

He moved toward a booth that was isolated from the other customers, and the knot twisted tighter as El realized that, with Benny still working in the kitchen, she was going to have to serve him.

She rarely served customers; Benny usually handled that, probably because he could sense how nervous it always made her, and it was safer that way, too. 

But no one remotely close to her age had ever come in during one of her shifts, let alone a _ boy _her age; a beautiful one, at that. He began setting up a stack of books on his table, and El knew it would be rude if she waited any longer to bring him a menu. She wiped her hands on the half apron around her waist and tucked a few loose strands of hair behind her ear, taking an even breath. 

She walked over to his table, coaching herself through the advice Hop continually gave her: _ Just smile, and be polite if you have to - that’s all. _He didn’t seem to notice her approaching, still taking things out of his backpack and sorting them on the table top. It wasn’t until she was standing right over him that he looked up, his dark eyes widening at first with surprise and then something more, something El couldn’t read. 

“Hi,” she said, placing the menu on one of the few spaces that wasn’t occupied by his things. She smiled in what she hoped was a friendly way. “Welcome to Benny’s Burgers.” 

The boy frowned, looking down at the menu as though it were a foreign object, and then back up at El with that same unreadable expression in his eyes. “Um... thanks,” he replied, his eyes darting away from her as he reached for the menu. 

“Would you like something to drink? Maybe some water? ” she asked, running through the usual script.

The boy cleared his throat, flipping through the first few pages of the menu. “I - yeah, water would be good. I kinda wanted a coffee, but I guess that probably isn’t a good idea,” he said, glancing at the black calculator watch on his wrist.

“Oh, I could make some decaf,” El offered. She’d have to dig out the decaf beans from the back storage unit, grind them up, and run a whole cycle with the coffee pot, but something about him made her not mind the extra work. 

He looked up, eyes suddenly alight. “Really? That wouldn’t be too much trouble?”

El shook her head. “It’ll just take a little bit longer than the regular stuff, if that’s okay.”

The boy was already nodding. “Sure, I don’t mind. Thanks.”

“No problem.”

El smiled at him again before turning to head toward the kitchen, grateful for the chance to be shielded so she could collect herself. Those dark, gentle eyes, the smattering of freckles across his nose and cheeks, his soft smile… she was _ definitely _blushing.

* * *

_ Great, well done, _ Mike thought, _ Can’t even order coffee from a pretty girl without staring at her like a total creep. _

He sighed and stretched his arms above his head in an attempt to recalibrate, but he couldn’t stop his eyes from flitting to the kitchen doorway to see if she’d emerged yet. 

Who _was _this girl? He was sure he’d never seen her around Hawkins — he’d remember if he had. Which was interesting, because she appeared to be around his age, and he’d been to Benny’s plenty of times. Granted, never past 7 p.m. on a weeknight, so maybe he’d just missed her normal shift hours; and that was a shame, because…. _wow_, was she ever pretty, and kind, too. 

_ Relax, you’ve barely spoken to her, _ Mike told himself, straightening up in his seat and turning his attention to his chemistry homework. He tried to work through one of the problems, but he kept glancing up every few seconds, hoping to catch a glimpse of her coming back out into the dining area. 

It was almost enough distraction to make him forget why he was at Benny’s in the first place, but the bitterness over his parent’s fight and the thought of Holly at home in the midst of it still lingered, tightening painfully in his chest.

After a few more failed attempts to write out equations, Mike heard the kitchen door squeak from across the room. He looked up to see the girl walking through it, a bag of coffee beans cradled in one arm. She settled behind the front counter, her back turned as she began loading the beans into the grinding machine.

Mike felt bad that she was doing all that extra work just for his one cup of coffee. He looked back down at his papers, figuring he probably shouldn’t make it worse by continuing to stare at her. 

Still, he started to feel nervous at the thought that she’d be coming back to his table shortly, and he grimaced at the obvious fact of his limited experience talking to girls. At school, him and his friends were firmly holding the collective position of _ total nerds_. 

Even though Nancy kept reminding him that arbirtrary social hierarchies shouldn’t have any bearing on his chances with the opposite sex, it still seemed to put a firm rift between him and the vast majority of girls at Hawkins High. 

But maybe Benny’s was kind of like a blank slate, a place where his low rung on the popularity ladder wasn’t as obvious, or at least wouldn’t be to this mystery girl. Maybe he could attempt to be the kind of person who confidently struck up a conversation with a pretty girl, and if it went horribly wrong, well… he just wouldn’t come back to the diner at this time ever again. 

Feeling satisfied with this quasi-plan, Mike glanced up to find the pretty girl in question walking up to his table, a steaming mug in one hand. He took a breath, smiling at her.

“Thanks again,” he said when she placed the mug down in front of him, “I really appreciate it.” 

She didn’t reply, instead fishing into the pocket on the front of her apron for a small notepad and pen. “Did you want to order some food?”

Mike didn’t. But he also _ really _didn’t want her to leave the table just yet, so he reached for the menu. “Oh, um… maybe,” he said, feigning interest as he flicked through the pages. “What’s your favourite thing here?” 

There was a pause and he cringed internally, hoping he hadn’t made it too obvious that he was stalling. He chanced a look at her and found that she was frowning, her expression making it seem as though she’d never contemplated the question before. 

After a moment she smiled down at the table, as though the answer made her shy. “I… like the waffles,” she said quietly. 

“Waffles?” 

She nodded. “They’re really good.”

Mike always went for fries or milkshakes at Benny’s — he was pretty sure he’d never even looked at the breakfast menu — but it was all he had to go with. “Is there a time limit on these waffles, or would you be making another exception for me?”

He fought the urge to squeeze his eyes shut in embarrassment. That was by far the flirtiest sentence he’d ever attempted, and it was about _ waffles_. 

Luckily, the girl didn’t seem to mind, or even notice. “We make them at any time,” she replied, “Mostly because I’m the one eating them.”

Mike folded the menu up and handed it to her. “Well then, I’m sold. Waffles it is.”

She gave that shy smile again, still not meeting his eyes. “Won’t be long,” she mumbled before heading back toward the front counter. 

Mike sighed. He hadn’t exactly gotten to the striking up a conversation part yet, but at least she’d be coming back when the waffles were ready. He was in the clear for the time being, so he went back to his chemistry homework in earnest. 

It didn’t take him long to get into the rhythm of it this time, and he moved through the problems quickly, lulled by the comfort of solving things with ease.

His home life may be sad and confusing and his skill at talking to girls minimal, but at least he had his mind; his love for learning and knowledge, and the temporary cloak of security it gave him.

He was finishing up the last two problems when a sweet smell began to waft through the restaurant, causing him to look up — it had to be the waffles. He watched as the girl pulled a plate down from the kitchen counter and began making her way toward him. 

She was definitely right — he hadn’t even tasted the waffles yet, but they looked amazing; thick and toasted to a perfect golden colour, with generous servings of whipped cream and syrup in small stainless steel dishes on the side of the plate. Though he hadn’t really been hungry when he came in, he was suddenly starving. 

He realized she was scanning the table for a place to set the plate down, and he scrambled to clear some of his books and papers away. “Oh - sorry, here,” he said, making some room in front of him. “Homework’s always getting in the way, huh?”

He waited for her to laugh or maybe say something in agreement, but when he looked at her, she just wore that same shy half-smile. 

Although there were increasing signals that she didn’t seem interested in talking to him, Mike decided to chance it anyway. “So, um, you don’t go to Hawkins High, do you? I’ve just… I’ve never seen you before.”

She met his eyes for a brief moment before looking away, which gave Mike enough time to reconsider how he’d phrased the question. “Um, I mean - sorry, that probably sounded weird. It’s not like I keep track of everyone at school, or whatever, I just… you know, Hawkins is pretty small, and I thought...” Mike trailed off, sure that he’d given her enough room to fill in the blanks, though she still seemed uncertain.

“I’m, um… I’m homeschooled,” she said finally. 

Although that made sense, Mike still wondered why he hadn’t seen her around town, even — most people his age tended to hang around the same few places. But he didn’t want to ruin anything with another probing question, so he just nodded.

“Homeschooled - that’s cool. So you probably don’t have to deal with as much homework then, right? Or is it just kind of _ always _a thing, because your school stuff is all at home already?”

She frowned, and he mentally scolded himself for how dumb the question came across. He smiled sheepishly, watching as her expression shifted from confused to something that looked more like… sad. Distant.

“It’s alright. Not too time consuming, I guess,” she replied, looking away again. “I don’t mind it.” 

Mike nodded with probably too much enthusiasm, given her hesitance. “Right, that makes sense. It’s probably pretty sweet that you get to just wake up whenever you want and stuff. And you don’t have to like, get ready, or walk to school - sounds awesome to me.”

The words brought a smile back to her face and Mike was relieved, returning it in earnest. “Yeah, I - it’s nice.” There was a pause, and then she motioned to the waffles. “Wouldn’t want you to eat those when they’re cold, so… enjoy.” 

She hurried away before Mike could say anything, and he slumped back in his seat, dejected. Polite as it was, she clearly just brushed him off, or at least wasn’t interested in carrying on a conversation. 

He thought he’d been friendly enough, if not a little awkward, but… oh well. He couldn’t blame her for not being interested. Besides, how much more could he have said if she wasn’t really giving substantial responses?

He looked down at his watch, which read 11:15. The diner closed at midnight, and he was done with the more urgent parts of his homework. He stared down at the plate of waffles, which seemed to have lost some of their appeal — there was nothing to do but eat them and go home.

* * *

The girl didn’t come by his table again; she was occupied, flitting around the front area of the diner with a rag and some cleaning spray. Mike numbly made his way through the waffles, passing the time by flipping through his agenda to review assignments and due dates. 

When he was done, he pushed the plate forward and began to pack his bag, noticing that he was the only person left in the place. He saw that the girl had gone behind the main counter again, her back turned as she dug through a drink fridge. 

Mike decided to bring his plate up to the counter, which he tried to convince himself was just common courtesy, and not a final bid to see her cute smile one more time.

He approached quietly, not wanting to disturb her, but when he set the plate down she turned, her eyebrows raised in surprise. 

“Just, uh - thought I’d save you the trip,” Mike said, pushing the plate forward a little.

She stepped toward him to reach for it, and Mike couldn’t help but stare, _ again_. She’d pulled her shoulder length brown hair back into a ponytail, making her soft hazel eyes stand out, the slight dimples in her cheeks somehow more prominent. 

“Thanks,” she said, setting the plate down on a ledge below. “Were they good?”

In all honesty, Mike had hardly noticed the taste of them, the experience dampened by his failed attempt at a conversation with her. But he grinned anyway, flashing a thumbs up. “They were excellent. Top notch recommendation.” 

She fidgeted with the front of her apron before looking up at him. “I'm glad you liked them,” she said, and Mike noticed a hint of warmth in her voice that hadn’t been there before.

He took it as an invitation to say what he’d been wanting to before she walked away earlier. “I’m Mike, by the way,” he blurted.

The girl looked surprised, but then she shook her head quickly, like she was willing herself back into the moment. “Nice to meet you, Mike. I’m El.”

They looked at each other, and before Mike let himself become a staring idiot again he cleared his throat, slinging his backpack over both shoulders. “Well, um, maybe I’ll see you again sometime? I might have to come in for another dose of those waffles.”

He was hoping the words would make her smile, but instead her features shifted into that same sad, distant expression she’d had before at the table. “Maybe,” was all she mumbled in reply. 

He nodded slowly. “Alright, well… Take care, El.” 

Feeling deflated, he headed for the door, but he only made it a few steps before he heard her call out to him.

“Mike?”

He turned around so quickly that he almost stumbled. “Yeah?”

“Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays. That’s when I’m here, usually. From 8 p.m. until close.”

It was just basic information, but Mike felt a blush creep up his neck. If she wanted him to know her hours… maybe that was a sign it hadn’t gone as poorly as he thought?

“Cool,” he replied, trying not to let his excitement over this development show. “Well, I’ll see you on one of those nights, I guess.”

She nodded, raising her hand to wave at him. “Have a good night, Mike.”

He grinned back at her, hardly able to believe this lucky turn of events.

“You too, El.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I saw a post about fanfic on Tumblr recently that was like, 'Not everything is a coffee shop AU!' - and it made me laugh to myself as I posted this, because this chapter totally makes it seem that way, doesn't it?
> 
> While there will certainly be a lot of the fluff/mutual pining that we all love in said coffee shop AUs, I can assure you there's a lot more to this story. If you're familiar with my other fics, then you'll know that I enjoy more close-up character study type stuff, and that's what a lot of this fic will be grounded in - with some action, angst, and excitement too, of course. A big part of my inspiration for this fic was to write an arc for El that has to do with finding herself, dealing with past trauma, and asserting her inner strength and independence. So, if that's something you're interested in - plus the falling in love with Mike part, of course - then I hope you'll enjoy this story!
> 
> Some other important things to note: unlike my first multi-chapter fic, I've written ahead for this one, and will be updating weekly for the next 2 months. That said, I'm really hoping that doesn't effect engagement; I would still love it if you left me comments, thoughts, and predictions on where you think the story is going to go. I usually reply to everyone and I really value the chance to talk to readers, so please leave feedback! 
> 
> As always, I'm on Tumblr @maplestreet (formerly @writer-lia, if that's what you're familiar with), so don't hesitate to come chat with me, or drop me a line about Mileven, this fic/my writing, or anything Stranger Things related (i.e. headcanons, analysis questions, anything like that). See you in chapter 2!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! So, here we have what I like to call the Necessary Set-up Chapter - no fluffy Mileven (apologies to my fellow die hards), but some important development nonetheless.
> 
> *A quick content warning for mentions of El's abuse in the lab, and some mental health stuff - please be aware if those things may be difficult for you.

El rested her cheek against the cool window of Hopper’s Blazer, letting her eyes drift shut. Their rides home from the diner were usually quiet, both of them tired from their respective shifts and content to sit in silence. 

But for the first time, that silence gnawed at El. A troubling mix of worry and guilt whirred through her mind, and she hugged her arms tightly across her chest, sinking lower in her seat.

She broke the rules.

She wasn’t supposed to talk at length with customers — or with anyone, for that matter — let alone share personal details with them. 

Not only had she told Mike that she was homeschooled, (though probably not in the way he imagined), but also her exact hours at the diner each week, which she knew was a mistake the moment the words left her mouth.

She couldn’t really explain it, but as she watched him head for the door, something strange had happened. When the idea that she might never see him again became real, a force came over her so strongly that it impeded the ability to reason. She didn’t think. Her whole life up until then had been a practice in restraint; being told when she was allowed to speak, to ask questions, to say what she needed and felt. 

And in a single moment, after mere minutes in the presence of someone she knew virtually nothing about, all of that had unravelled. 

Even as the guilt lingered, the thought of his name — _ I’m Mike, by the way _— made her smile. He’d just been so… kind. That had to be the reason she slipped up; that, and the fact that he was friendly, and beautiful, too. 

Still, she remembered what Hopper preached: that people could seem that way on the surface and then turn out to be dangerous, in one way or another. _ You can never really trust someone, _he often reminded her. 

Was this how weak she really was, then? A somewhat friendly boy showed up at the diner, and that was all it took for her to break one of their most important rules?

But beneath all of that, a voice — the one El recognized as her own, untainted by anyone from the lab, or Hopper, even — told her Mike was _ good_, an attribute that radiated from him even in the simple interactions they’d had. 

That was maybe the only benefit of having been embedded with so much evil for so long: it gave El a sensor that recognized the opposite right away, a keen ability to detect honesty and truth in its purest form. That instinct had allowed her to trust Hopper, after all, that night he found her stumbling through the woods. 

Mike had it too, she was sure of it.

It was a nice thought, but El’s heart sank as she realized it didn’t really matter. What would come of it, anyway? He would come into the diner again, and they’d talk some more? Become friends, maybe? 

Her inner voice, however hopeful, told her that as much as she wanted that — ached for it, thinking about his sweet smile and gentle eyes — it wasn’t possible. 

It wasn't just a mistake to tell him about her shift hours, but it was foolish, too. Even if he did come in again, she’d have no choice but to keep it all polite, short, surface level. She’d have to shut him out, like she was supposed to. 

The thought was so upsetting that she bit the inside of her cheek, sighing to try and ward off the urge to cry. 

She felt Hopper’s eyes on her, roused by the sound.

“Everything okay, kid?”

A small part of her wanted to tell him. Maybe he would say that it wasn’t a big deal, that she was allowed to chat with a nice boy her age if she wanted to, so long as it didn’t go anywhere — but those hopes were quelled the moment they rose up. 

She didn’t want to lie, but disappointing Hop would be worse; he’d already done enough, risked so much to keep her safe.

“Yeah, I’m just tired,” she replied.

“Any customers give you a hard time?” 

For some reason the question upset her more. She thought of Mike’s voice when she’d offered to make him some decaf coffee — _ Really? That wouldn’t be too much trouble? _ — and the adorable way his eyes had lit up. 

She pursed her lips, frustrated by how silly it all was.

“Nope,” was all she could manage to reply.

“Good,” Hopper said, reaching over to nudge her shoulder affectionately, “Because no one better mess with you.”

It was something that normally would’ve made her laugh, or at least smile — but she just shrank further into herself, keeping her eyes trained on the darkness ahead.

* * *

By the time El was ready for bed, she could hear the distinct sound of Hopper’s snores coming from behind his bedroom door. It probably should have annoyed her by now, but she still found it comforting; it served as a reminder that she wasn’t alone, that someone would come for her if she needed help. 

At first, she didn’t want to sleep in the other bedroom, which had confused Hop. Real privacy was a luxury she’d been denied for too long, and he figured she would be excited to have a space to call her own. But the idea of being enclosed in four walls, even just for sleep, was too jarring for El in the beginning, when she was still overcome with fear. 

To remedy this, for two whole months they both slept in the living room; El stretched out on the couch, and Hopper on an old cot across from her. That was when she’d gotten used to the snoring, his measured breathing — it helped calm her on nights when sleep wouldn’t come. 

They were both a little sad when El finally worked up the courage to move into what was now her bedroom, having grown fond of their living room sleepovers. But it was the right thing. _ Progress, _Hopper had said. 

Plus, it gave her the privacy she needed for her nightly ritual; which was something he didn’t, and couldn’t, know about. 

She was more tired than usual tonight, the helpless thoughts of Mike draining her energy in every sense, but she couldn’t skip it. She promised herself she’d try for as long as possible, until she either lost hope or the will to continue, whatever came first.

After checking to make sure the door was locked and Hopper’s snores were still in a steady rhythm, she reached under her bed for the empty can of his Schlitz beer that she’d plucked from the trash a while ago. 

She placed it on top of her dresser, situating herself a few feet in front of it. She took a deep breath, rounding her shoulders and adjusting her posture so she was standing at full height. 

After closing her eyes for a moment to gather herself, she raised one hand and stretched her fingertips toward the can, palm facing the floor. 

With as much concentration as she could muster, she zeroed in, frowning as she tried — with her mind, the way she’d been able to before — to crush it.

_ Three, two, one_, El chanted in her head, the strategy she’d been taught in the lab that she still couldn’t let go of. _ Three, two, one, come on_. 

After a few more tries she dropped her hand, sighing as she flexed her fingers. Nothing. Just like the preceding few months. 

Still, she tried.

Following the routine, she returned the can to its hiding spot, reaching next for the small pink radio on her nightstand. She knelt by her bed and felt under the mattress for her makeshift blindfold, a strip cut from one of Hop’s old t-shirts, and tied it around her head to cover her eyes. 

Turning the knobs until all it emitted was static, she placed the radio behind her on the bed, sitting with her back against it so that the sound was close enough to focus on. Breathing deeply, she tried to let go of her mind, to visit the place she’d been before — the blank space. The void. The backdrop into which she could arrive anywhere, witnessing her surroundings without anyone or anything aware of her presence.

But like every night since _ that _night, there was nothing. Just the crackling of radio static, and the soft lamp light coming in through the thin fabric covering her eyes. 

The disappointment of it felt heavier than normal, and when she pulled the blindfold off she was surprised to find that she was blinking away tears from her vision. 

She looked around the room; at her haphazard drawings tacked to the walls, and the old record covers Hop put up as an attempt at decorating. Her favourite flannel shirt draped over a chair in the corner, a stack of books on top of the dresser. All signs of a life, of someone with people — or at least a person — who loved them.

But all El felt was empty.

A sob wracked her body and she clapped a hand over her mouth to stifle it, not wanting to wake Hopper. She leaned over sideways until she was curled up on the floor, the tears coming faster now. 

She couldn’t do it. She couldn’t be anything. She _ wasn’t _anything. 

* * *

_ “What good is she without them? She’s nothing but a liability now, Dr. Brenner.” _

_ El pressed her ear against the door, straining to hear the voices out in the hallway. She wasn’t exactly sure who the other two people were, but Papa’s voice was distinct. _

_ “We can afford to wait a little longer,” he said, “I have a feeling that if they do come back, they could be stronger than before.” _

_ Someone made a noise of dissent and El heard Papa shush them. She held her breath, afraid to make even the slightest sound. _

_ “I doubt that’s going to happen, Dr. Brenner. Her strength seems to be gone entirely.” _

_ Papa sighed. “Subject Eleven is our only success, the only one who’s survived our training. We won’t give up just yet.” _

_ An awful chill crept up El’s spine. She always asked about others like her to no avail, and now she knew why Papa never answered — no one else had made it this far. _

_ The hallway was silent, and El wondered if they’d walked away, but then she heard Papa speak up. “Two more weeks. We’ll give it two more weeks, and if her powers don’t resurface, we’ll get rid of her. We can talk about how when we come to it.” _

_ No one spoke after that. _

_ El stayed in place, listening to their footsteps fade as they made their way down the hall and away from her room. _

_ She lingered for a few moments just to be sure they were gone, and when she finally stepped back from the doorway, she realized how badly she was shaking. Her breathing became laboured, as though the air in the room was rapidly disappearing. _ _She stumbled back toward her bed, collapsing onto it and wrapping her arms around herself as she began to rock back and forth, the way she always did when she felt herself shutting down like this, when the worst of the fear and despair set in. _

** _She was useless. She was a liability. They were going to get rid of her._ **

_ Though she’d been denying it, deep down El knew this already, judging by the look on Papa’s face each time they brought her into the examining room that week — each time her regular drills were halted as she continually failed to summon her powers. _

_ On the nights that she could work up the strength, she’d been trying, alone in her room, focusing as hard as she could on snapping something as small as a pencil crayon until her head began to ache from the effort. _

_ She closed her eyes, remembering the night it all went wrong. _

_ Papa had brought a small white cat into one of the exam rooms, one similar to the pictures he’d shown her from a book the week before. _

_ An anxious feeling had pooled in El’s stomach, knowing what he wanted before he even spoke. He’d been hinting at it all week long — “We want to see just how strong you are, Eleven.” _

_ It had only been a year or so that the physical aspect of her telekinesis had ramped up, to the point where she could throw furniture across the room or crush objects with the flick of her head or hand. _

_ Before that, her main strength had been the void; her ability to look for and spy on whoever they showed her pictures of. But El could sense that this new development in her powers was what Papa really wanted. The month before, when she accidentally broke a guard’s wrist after he grabbed her too hard, he had pulled her close and whispered that he was proud. _

_ “No,” she’d cried to him that night, watching the cat pace in its cage. _

_ El couldn’t do it — she wouldn’t. It was sick, and wrong, and she knew that with a strength and certainty that sunk deep into her bones. _

_ At first Papa thought she was holding off on purpose and he scolded her, his cold hand gripping her forearm as he tried to coax her. _

_ But it was like a part of El’s nervous system had suddenly shut down, like the sinister request turned off a switch inside her, the mix of her resolve and disgust causing everything to falter. _

_ “I can’t,” she’d sobbed, confused and overcome, “I can’t.” _

_ Papa didn’t believe her. In the end he got fed up, tearing the wires from her head and yanking her out of the room, down the long hallway that led to the place El despised more than anything; the cold, dark cell where her pleas for help went unheard for days. _

_ She’d cried and screamed as he carried her, but she didn’t have the strength to fight him like she normally did. _ _She remembered how loudly the door clanged as he slammed it, how angry and flat his voice was as she scrambled toward it. _

_“You’ll stay in here until they come back.”_

* * *

El wasn’t sure how long she’d been laying on the floor, but eventually the hardwood became uncomfortable enough to prompt her to crawl up onto her bed. She burrowed under the blankets, exhausted in a way that made her feel completely blank. 

Each time her attempts failed, the hushed words from that night echoed in her mind — _ Liability. What good is she? _— haunting her, regardless of how much time had passed.

Still, each time, she reminded herself that it had taken years for her powers to gain strength, and it could take just as long to get them back. But with that thought also came the sense that something specific was keeping them inside, like she just had to keep trying until she unlocked the right combination that would allow everything to come flooding back in.

As much as she believed that, imagining what it would be like also scared her. The physical part of her powers had often felt chaotic; random bursts of strength she could only slightly control. She didn’t have the chance to get a real handle on them before they disappeared, and she had no way of knowing what would happen if they did come back.

El took a deep breath as she turned onto her side, pulling the comforter tighter around her body.

Just as she was about to let the exhaustion take over, she remembered that there was still one part left to her routine. Sitting up a little, she reached over and opened the small drawer on her nightstand, pulling out the scuffed leather bound journal she kept there.

Hopper had given it to her early on, along with a suggestion: that she use it to record her thoughts, whenever they got too confusing or overwhelming. He said putting them down on paper could make them feel less powerful, like they were being temporarily offloaded somewhere else.

He was right. El wasn’t always diligent about it, but when she did take the time to write, she always felt better afterwards — except for when she filled in the tally.

She flipped to the back, where a cluster of pencil marks were scrawled along half of the second last page. To anyone else they would look like random scribbles, but El knew their purpose: to keep track of how many days she’d been trying to get her powers back.

After drawing a small dash in the next blank spot, she looked down at the page for a moment, as though it held some kind of secret message. Then, letting the pencil move before she could think, she wrote something underneath it:

_ Mike_.

Maybe it was because she didn’t have anyone to tell, and writing his name solidified her memory of the night, made it more permanent somehow. Maybe she wanted a way to look back and know, with this strange way of tracking time, the exact day she met him. 

Maybe his name made her feel something — something like hope.

There was a loud creak from behind the wall next to her and El flinched, her heart racing before she realized it was just Hopper rolling over in bed. Taking a shaky breath, she snapped the journal closed and returned it to its place, turning off her bedside lamp before laying down.

Sometimes it felt like it would never go away, the guilt she carried in nearly every waking moment. Guilt over losing her powers, even though she was sure it wasn’t her fault. Guilt over hiding her attempts at getting them back from Hopper, who would be angry that she was trying something that, if successful, had the potential to put them in danger. 

Guilt over wanting her powers back in the first place. Guilt over having a home, and someone who truly cared for her — things she sometimes wondered if she really deserved.

Maybe that’s what it was about Mike, about those few stolen moments she allowed herself around him. In his eyes, she was just a girl working her shift at the diner, and because of this, El imagined herself to be that way: someone with a past that didn’t matter, and a future that wasn’t defined by fear, isolation, or restraint. 

Someone who could smile at a beautiful boy, and not have it laden with sadness for what could never be.

* * *

“Have you guys ever been to Benny’s late at night?”

Mike purposely waited until he was behind the wheel to pose the question, so he could focus on the road, and not all of his friends’ quizzical looks. 

They were on their way to school, seated in their usual formation: Dustin in the front, and Will, Lucas, and Max in the back. 

Mike was the first to get his license, and ever since he inherited his mom’s old station wagon, they’d upgraded from biking to school to having him drive, which was an improvement on many fronts. Their reputation as nerds certainly wasn’t helped by the fact that they routinely rolled up to Hawkins High on the same bicycles they’d been using since they were kids.

Mike and the three boys had been best friends since they were little, and Max had joined their Party — as they referred to it, in traditional Dungeons and Dragons terms — in eighth grade, after her and Lucas had started dating. 

High school hadn’t made the slightest dent in their crew; though they all had casual friends from classes or extracurricular activities, the Party was as close as ever.

Mike could tell they were all seriously contemplating his question. 

Dustin was the first to speak up. “I don’t think so. Driving all the way out there at night would be kind of scary.” 

“Yeah, because you can barely see over your mom’s steering wheel,” Lucas retorted, which garnered a laugh from everyone.

Dustin twisted around to face the backseat. “Watch it, Lucas. At least I don’t drive recklessly above the speed limit and risk all of us getting _ killed_.”

“That was _ one _time!”

“Can you two stop?” Will interjected, “It’s too early for this.”

Mike heard Max pipe up from her spot in the middle seat. “I don’t think any of us have been there late, as far as I can remember. Why do you ask, Mike?”

He sighed, still unsure how he wanted to phrase his answer. He knew the instant he mentioned a girl they’d all pile on and start teasing him, and although there was probably no way to avoid that, he wanted to mitigate it as much as possible. Especially because he genuinely wanted to know if any of them had ever seen El, at Benny’s or otherwise.

“I was there last night,” he began, “Around ten thirty or so. And there was this girl -” 

“Wait, why were you there so late?” Will asked.

Mike sighed. Though they all knew to varying degrees about the situation with his parents at this point, mentioning it still made him uncomfortable. 

“My parents were fighting again, and I was trying to do homework and got fed up,” he mumbled. 

The car went silent and Mike cringed, angry yet again at his parents for being the cause of uncharacteristic awkwardness amongst his friends. 

He cleared his throat, desperate for the moment to pass. “Anyway,” he said, “There was this girl working there, and I was wondering if any of you have ever -”

“Oooh, a girl?” Dustin cut in, “Our age? Was she cute?”

“Excuse me,” Mike replied, “I was asking a question, and you very _ rudely _ interrupted.”

Dustin reached over and clapped a hand on Mike’s shoulder. “Right, you were going to ask if any of us had ever seen her before. But in order to answer that, we’d have to know what she looks like - hence, the question about whether she’s cute or not. I’m two steps ahead of you, Mike.”

“Fine, _ yes_, okay, she’s really cute, but that’s beside the point -” 

“Depends on who you ask,” Dustin muttered. 

Mike ignored him and continued. “I think she’s around our age, average height, brown hair that’s kinda curly. Her name’s El?” 

The car was silent again as the rest of the Party considered it. “She’s homeschooled,” Mike added, thinking that might help.

“How do you know?” Will asked

“Because I asked if she went to Hawkins High,” he replied.

Max leaned forward, sidling up to Mike’s right shoulder. “So you had like, a real conversation and everything?” 

“Don’t sound _ too _ surprised,” Mike replied, rolling his eyes, “And I guess so, not really. She seemed kind of shy, or something.”

“Wow,” Max said, “Mike Wheeler haunting Benny’s Burgers late at night to hit on cute girls, who would’ve thought!”

“Oh please,” Mike said, his voice rising a little, “Like Lucas didn’t hang around your locker for a whole month waiting for you to give him the time of day.”

The Party erupted in laughter, and in the midst of it Mike heard Lucas mutter something along the lines of, “He’s not wrong.” 

He smiled to himself, waiting for everyone to quiet down. “So none of you have seen her anywhere, then? El?”

Dustin spoke first, still giggling a little. “Why do you keep saying her name like that?” 

“Like what?”

“I dunno, like… all dreamy and stuff.”

“_Dreamy_? Come on, what are you -” 

“Oh my god,” Dustin said excitedly, and from the corner of his eye Mike saw him throw a mischievous glance toward the backseat. “Guys, look how much he’s blushing! You _ totally _have a crush on this girl, don’t you?”

“What? No, I never said -”

But it was no use. Within seconds, the Party had started up a chant — _ Mike has a crush! Mike has a crush! _— so loudly that he had to turn up the radio dial in an effort to drown them out. 

When it finally died down into a fit of collective giggling, he shook his head, sighing with defeat. “You guys are walking to school from now on.”

“Awh come on, Mike, we’re just joking,” Lucas said, “You _ never _ talk about stuff like this, we’re just excited for you.”

They pulled up to the Hawkins High parking lot, and Mike was glad to finally be able to get out of the car and away from their teasing. 

“To answer your question, I don’t think any of us have seen her around,” Will said as they all shuffled out. 

“Yeah, but we better meet her soon,” Dustin cut in, walking around the car to give Mike a good natured pat on the back. “Gotta see if she’s a good fit for our Paladin.”

Mike groaned, blushing in spite of himself. “Remind me to make sure that never happens.” 

They headed toward the main doors and Mike fell into step next to Will, who he noticed was eyeing him suspiciously. 

“Everything okay, with your parents and all that?” he asked, once they were out of earshot from the others.

Mike glanced at him quickly. He thought he’d made it seem nonchalant when they were in the car, but Will always had a way of detecting what was going on beneath the surface. 

“Yeah, it’s still the same, I guess,” he answered, shrugging a little. “I just got tired of listening to them last night. I decided to start taking Nancy’s advice, and just get out of there when it gets bad.”

Will nodded. Of everyone in the Party, Mike knew he understood the best, having had an abusive father that walked out on their family when Will was young.

“Well, at least you know you can go to Benny’s,” he said. He caught Mike’s eye and smiled, reaching over to nudge his arm. “Especially now that there’s a cute waitress to crush on.”

Mike just rolled his eyes again — even Will, apparently, wasn’t above the silly teasing.

They made their way inside, catching up with the rest of the Party as they all shuffled into the crowded front entrance. Mike bid everyone goodbye before they each headed in the direction of their lockers.

The usual noisy bustle of mornings and Hawkins High faded into the background as Mike weaved through the hallways, lost in thought. 

It struck him as odd that none of his friends knew who El was, or even had an idea of where they might’ve seen her before. He wondered fleetingly if last night had all been a dream, but the image of her deep brown eyes and dimpled smile rang as clear to him as ever. It felt like a strange mystery only he was privy to, this pretty girl at Benny’s that no one else seemed to know anything about. 

He’d have to go there and see her again — just to make sure she was real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, first reveal - El lost her powers while still in the lab, but a very lonely and confused part of her wants them back... hmm. And the Party, well, they never let Michael Hearteyes Wheeler off the hook, do they?
> 
> Next chapter, we come back to flirty/mutual pining Mileven - with an increasingly conflicted El - which makes for an interesting mix. Please leave your thoughts - some of the comments from the first chapter actually encouraged me to flesh out this one a lot more, so it's more helpful than you know! 
> 
> As always, I'm on Tumblr @maplestreet, so feel free to come along with comments/questions/feels about this fic, Mileven, or anything Stranger Things related. Thank you for reading :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Sunday (or whatever day it is for you), loves! Here’s a healthy dose of fluff/mutual pining to hopefully soothe any residual feels from the last chapter. Enjoy!

Mike sat hunched over the old card table that the Party used for D&D campaigns, a cluster of papers spread before him. He usually opted to do homework at the desk in his room when it got this late, but he figured staying down in the basement would make it easier to slip out when he wanted to go to Benny’s.

His parents weren’t fighting tonight; or if they were, he couldn’t hear them, for once. Unlike last time, he didn’t technically have a reason to leave, but… _ I want to see El _ he thought, for what was probably the twentieth time that night. 

He glanced at his watch — it was just after ten. 

Would she think it was weird if he showed up at pretty much the same time he had on Tuesday? What if she found it creepy that he actually remembered her shift hours? And would she buy the guise of him being there to do homework, or would it be totally obvious that he’d gone just to see her?

It felt silly to be having those kinds of thoughts about a girl he’d barely spoken to, but there was _ something _about El, something he couldn’t pinpoint that made him want to know more. 

Plus, he was even more intrigued after learning that none of his friends had seen her around before. After the collective teasing that had gone on yesterday, he knew they were going to ask about her again… so he might as well find out something he could tell them, right?

After pausing to make sure it was still quiet upstairs, he gathered his things and headed for the basement door, closing it behind him with a soft click. 

For the first time, he was actually grateful that his parent’s arguing had made them pretty much oblivious to his whereabouts most of the time. They were fairly lenient to begin with, but driving all the way out to Benny’s Burgers late at night under the premise of doing homework probably wasn’t something they’d be thrilled about.

The truth was, the idea of seeing El had given Mike something to look forward to, a welcome distraction in those handful of tense or awkward hours he’d been at home since Tuesday night. And distraction was, after all, what he desperately needed in those listless moments. 

So that could be it, then. Mike didn’t want to get his hopes up that anything could or would happen with El, but at the very least, a trip to the diner was a far better alternative to sitting at home in the midst of either fighting or an uneasy silence. It was just a healthy distraction, that was all.

He spent most of the drive to Benny’s trying to convince himself of it.

* * *

El was in the back storage area when she heard the faint chime of the front door bell, signalling that someone had entered the diner. 

She was filling a tray with cans of pop, but the noise made her pause, her mind immediately echoing with the phrase she’d been turning over her whole shift so far: _ Maybe it’s Mike_. 

Sighing, she mentally scolded herself again for how much the resolve she vowed to uphold was already starting to crumble. In the two hours since she’d arrived at the diner, a wave of anticipation had washed over her each time the front door opened, only to dissipate when it wasn’t him. 

She glanced at Benny, who was perched on a stool next to the prep area, frowning at a long sheet of paper. 

He looked up at her and gestured toward the door. “You okay to get that? I just have to finish up these purchase orders.”

El nodded, tucking the tray of cans under one arm as she headed out to the front. 

She pushed the swinging door open with her hip, craning her neck toward the doorway as she stepped out — only to find that her instincts were right.

_ Mike. _

He was standing by the entrance, thumbs looped through his backpack straps, the warmth of his smile reaching El quicker than lightning.

She stopped so abruptly that a can of Coke went flying off her tray, landing on the ground in front of her with a hard smack. There was a sharp hiss, and then the dark liquid began to trickle out and spread across the floor.

“Shit,” she muttered, setting the tray down on a counter and twisting around to look for the nearest rag. 

Mike was still standing a few feet away and El felt her cheeks burn, worried that it was obvious that his presence had caused the blunder. She hoped he’d go and sit down so she could get a hold of herself, but just as she was bending down to wipe up the spill, he approached.

“Hey, uh - hi, El - are you… did you need some help?”

_ Why does he have to be so nice? _

El stood back up and chanced a look at him. Over the past 48 hours, she tried to convince herself that she was inflating it all in her head, how beautiful he was.

It took half a second to realize how laughably untrue that was. 

Not even two minutes had passed, and the odds of her being able to resist talking to him were _ not _ looking good.

“Hi, Mike,” she managed, smiling at him. “I’m okay, thanks. You can just go have a seat, wherever you like.”

He seemed disappointed, and El felt bad — but it wouldn’t be appropriate to let a customer behind the front counter, and allowing Mike to do so would break all the rules and then some. 

“Will do,” he replied, and she watched as he walked over to the same table as before. 

She crouched down and began wiping up the spilled Coke, grateful for the chance to get back to her senses. 

If just the sight of him made her fumble like that, what would a whole conversation do? What kind of chaos would unfold if she got close to him and saw that constellation of freckles up close? _ That’s not going to happen_, she reminded herself, _ It can’t. _

She finished cleaning up, steeling herself as she grabbed a menu and walked over to Mike’s table. _ Short and polite_, she thought, _ Nothing more_. 

He was thumbing through a book, his brow slightly furrowed in concentration. When she placed the menu down he looked up, smiling so sweetly that she felt her resolve ebb away even more.

“Everything okay back there?”

El just nodded. “Did you want some coffee again? Decaf?”

She watched as he registered her cold demeanour, his smile fading so rapidly that it hit El like a punch in the stomach. He pursed his lips, like he wanted to say something else in response to her question but decided against it.

“Sure,” he replied. “Sure, decaf would be great.”

El turned away quickly, not wanting to linger; looking at him for any length of time would make shutting him out even harder. 

She headed back behind the counter, remembering that she’d set aside a bag of decaf coffee beans so that in case Mike did come back, she wouldn’t have to go digging through the storage area again. 

The sight of them made her shake her head. Why had she allowed that kind of preemptive hope, when him returning wasn’t going to change anything?

She distracted herself with making the coffee, and was setting the machine to percolate when Benny appeared from the kitchen. He scanned the dining area before walking over to El. 

“So that kid’s back again, huh?”

El followed Benny’s gaze to Mike’s table. “Yeah,” she replied, squatting down to look for a clean coffee mug.

In her peripheral vision, she noticed Benny nodding. “He’s been here before — comes in with a group of friends after school sometimes. Never seen him here this late, though.” 

El made sure to keep her face neutral, but the information gave rise to a strange mix of emotions. 

It was odd to know that hers and Mike’s paths had been running somewhat parallel, but had never crossed until now. Thinking about him hanging out at the diner with friends served as a grim, but important reminder that his life was normal in a way hers had never been, and would probably never be.

Benny handed El a mug from one of the shelves she couldn’t reach, and she smiled in thanks. 

“Nice kid, for sure,” he said, “He’s the only one of the group that ever leaves a tip.”

He headed toward a table full of his regulars after that, leaving El with the task of bringing Mike his coffee and taking his order, both things she’d been hoping to avoid. But there was no other choice — she’d just have to make it as quick as possible, so it wouldn’t hurt as much. 

She gathered the mug in both hands and headed to his table.

* * *

Mike had to admit the odds weren’t looking great. 

El’s shyness from Tuesday was definitely still there, but this time there was a cold tinge to it, like she was annoyed by his presence or something. 

Though he couldn’t think of why, he wasn’t necessarily surprised; Mike didn’t consider himself suave, or charming in the typical sense, or even… particularly interesting, for that matter. 

He squeezed his hands into fists, trying to halt the insecure thoughts before they took him down an inevitably dark path. He tried to remember what his friends and Nancy often said to him in these moments: _ You’re a great guy, Mike. Stop sabotaging yourself. _

He’d been looking forward to seeing El for two days now, and he wasn’t disappointed in that sense — she was _ way _ more beautiful than he even remembered, and just looking at her made the rest of his surroundings seem dull. 

_ But I’m not here to stare at her like a creep_, Mike thought, _ I actually want to _ ** _talk _ ** _ to her_.

He spent the last portion of the drive to Benny’s working up the courage to do this; testing out potential conversation starters, things that might help break through her shy exterior. 

Though it felt kind of ridiculous, he reminded himself of the revelation he’d had on Tuesday: that Benny’s was a free space, where El wasn’t aware of his social status, or poor flirting skills. Maybe, he told himself, _ maybe _ he could at least practice, gain some of the confidence he knew he needed. 

Mike glanced at the front counter and saw that El was coming toward him with a mug in her hands. 

There were two options. The first was that he could bail on all of this, chalk it up to a fleeting distraction from his problems at home, and never show up again during one of her shifts. The second was that he could try to talk to her, like he _ really _wanted to, and see what came of it. 

What was the worst that could happen? She’d rebuff him completely, and then, like he’d also realized on Tuesday, he would just never return to Benny’s after ten. Simple as that. 

He sat up a little straighter, smiling at El as she set the coffee down. He was still clutching his book in one hand, readying himself for the line he’d settled on.

“Would you like anything to eat?” she asked, gesturing to his unopened menu.

Her tone was still cold — robotic, almost — and although Mike knew he should be deterred, he went for it anyway. 

“Oh, I’m okay, thanks. But, um, I would like to order…” he trailed off, holding up the book and pointing to it with his other hand. “Your opinion on _ Lord of the Flies_?”

El had been reaching for her notepad, but at his words she froze. 

She studied the book cover for a moment before she shook her head. “I… haven’t read it.”

_ Alright, so that didn’t work, _Mike thought, setting the book down on top of his papers. 

“Oh, okay, uh - no worries. Sorry, that was a lame joke. It’s just, I have a report on it due for English class in a couple weeks, and I normally love reading, but I’m really struggling with this book for some reason. Probably because all I read are fantasy novels, which I guess is kind of -”

El’s silence stopped him, and he bit the inside of his cheek as a blush began to creep up his neck. Rambling was one of his bad habits, and it got even worse when he was nervous. 

He shifted awkwardly, and was trying to think of something to say when she replied.

“I’m not sure I could help much,” she mumbled, “Sorry.”

"Well,” Mike began, rushing to get the words out before he lost his nerve, “If you have a minute, maybe - maybe I could tell you about it, and get your impression that way? I mean, I’m only about halfway through anyway, and sometimes hearing a fresh perspective helps.”

For the first time that night, El met his eyes. Mike couldn’t quite pinpoint her expression; she seemed conflicted, but that distant sadness he’d noticed before was there, too. 

“I don’t think I can,” she replied, an air of disappointment in her words. “I have some things to do around there.” She motioned to the front area, which, to Mike, didn’t exactly look like it needed tending to.

The signs were clear: _ She doesn’t want to talk to you, so stop being a wasteoid_. 

Still, he couldn’t help but fixate on that hint of disappointment, figuring it wouldn’t hurt to try one last ditch effort. It was either that or finish the coffee as quickly as possible, leave, and probably never see her again — and that option was not at _ all _ appealing. 

Mike looked at the front counter, at the four high-top stools perched at one end, the usual spot for the early morning breakfast crowd.

“Right, I see,” he said, pointing at the stools. “What if…. could I sit over there, maybe? That way you can work while I tell you about the plot, and I - I’ll make it interesting, I promise. Then maybe you won’t be as bored, or… or something.”

The words didn’t come out quite as confidently as he’d hoped, but he still managed to smile at El as another unreadable expression passed over her face. 

There was a pause long enough to make Mike want to backtrack and tell her to forget about it, but then finally, she spoke. 

“Okay,” she said, her eyes downcast again, “You could do that.”

Mike’s smile broke into a full-on grin. _ Alright, _ he thought, _ Progress. _

“Great,” he said, gathering up his papers as he began sliding out of the booth. “Lead the way.”

* * *

It was far too easy to quiet the alarm bells going off in El’s head — the ones telling her that she was blatantly ignoring the rules — when Mike was talking to her. 

She’d never seen someone so _ animated_; his dark eyes dancing with excitement, hands gesturing wildly, his voice undulating with dramatic tones. 

The difficult part had been allowing this to happen in the first place; giving in to his gentle persistence and the fact that for whatever reason, he seemed to really want to talk to her. 

She knew the instant he asked for her opinion on the book that it was a losing battle, but still, she’d struggled. If she said yes, it could go somewhere she couldn’t predict, somewhere that could be dangerous, even though her instincts told her that wouldn’t happen.

In the end, it wasn’t because she couldn’t say no to him (although the way he looked at her at the table certainly made it difficult) but because she couldn’t say no to herself. The tricky part now wasn’t that she was breaking the rules by talking to him in the first place; it was that she knew, with more certainty than she’d ever had, that she never wanted to stop. 

And that was going to be a problem.

But she could forget that so quickly just by looking at him, stealing glances as she polished cutlery behind the counter and listened to him describe _ Lord of the Flies_. 

El didn’t let on how little she knew about the book, or literature in general. It would be too embarrassing to admit that she was still struggling through the second book in the _ Anne of Green Gables _series, the first set of novels Hopper had given her.

“So the thing is, it’s kind of getting interesting now, because there’s division among the group,” Mike said, “About what they should do for food and shelter and stuff.”

El’s eyes passed over his form as he leaned forward on the counter. He was wearing a beige knit sweater with a dark green pattern across the chest, and it looked so cozy, the ideal thing to have on for the chilly mid-October evening. She wondered just how warm it was, what it would feel like to be wrapped up in his arms and have the heat of him so close. She imagined letting her cheek rest against his chest, how nice it would be to just -

“El? Are - are you listening?”

His words brought her back to reality, and she ducked her head slightly to hide her blush. _ Get a grip_, she told herself, polishing the fork in her hand a little more vigorously. 

“Yes - sorry,” she mumbled, “So they can’t decide what the plan should be, for how to survive?”

“Right,” Mike replied, “They’re just kids, so they’re used to having adults tell them what to do.” 

“What about their parents? Aren’t they looking for them?”

There was a pause as Mike considered this. “That’s a good question, actually. I mean, it’s sort of implied that any adult died in the plane crash at the beginning, but I’m sure the parents back home are probably freaking out. This one kid Ralph keeps saying that the ‘grownups’ are going to come for them, but some of the boys think that’s a waste of time.”

El considered this. She could relate to both sides: having the hope of an elusive _ someone _ out there plotting your rescue, only to have it fade away, leaving bitterness in its wake.

“Right,” she said, “It would be hard not to hope that someone was looking for you, especially if you’re scared.”

They were still talking about the plot, but the words felt personal, like she’d just revealed something she wasn’t supposed to. Mike’s eyes were on her and she avoided looking up, afraid of what she’d find if she did.

“Yeah, that’s true.” 

He cleared his throat, and El could tell he was choosing his next words carefully. “So, your parents - they don’t have a problem with you working so late?”

_ Shit_. They’d been talking about the book for a while and although it was natural for the subject to change, El hadn’t prepared herself to discuss anything else. And the unnerving thing was, she _ wanted _to, even though it definitely wasn’t allowed. 

She shrugged in response, deciding it was best to just glaze over it. “Not really. Because I’m homeschooled, I don’t have to worry about waking up early and all that.”

Mike nodded. “Oh, right, yeah - that makes sense.”

“What about you?” El asked, quick to divert any further questions, “Your parents don’t mind you being out late on a school night?”

When he didn’t respond right away, El looked up to find that he seemed lost in thought. He leaned an elbow on the counter, resting his chin against one of his palms.

“Well… they don’t know I’m here, actually,” he said after a while.

El raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Really?”

Her heart sank as she watched his eyes darken, like she’d reminded him of something hurtful.

“Yeah,” he said, his voice quieter, “They’re kinda… distracted, I guess.”

El wanted more than anything to ask why, to listen to him and do what she could to quell that sadness in his eyes. But that might lead to a conversation she couldn’t really have, and she knew it wouldn’t be fair to ask him to open up when she couldn’t give anything in return.

It felt wrong to pivot back to talking about the book, but she wasn’t sure what else to do. 

“I see,” she replied, nodding as though she understood. “So maybe for part of your report, you can write about the different approaches the boys have to survival,” she said, “And what that says about… the way people think.”

Mike still seemed distracted, but when she caught his eyes for a moment, he smiled. “Now that,” he said, reaching for one of the papers in front of him, “Is a great idea.” 

El smiled to herself as he jotted things down, his pen scribbling quickly across the page. 

When he was done he looked at her, his eyes alight again. “I knew you’d be able to help. You’re a genius, I can tell.”

That made El laugh loudly enough that a customer nearby turned to look. She shook her head, flushing with embarrassment. 

“I don’t know about that,” she said shyly. 

“Awh come on, give yourself some credit,” Mike said, “Besides, I’m usually right about these kinds of things.”

_ Trust me, _ El wanted to say, _ I wish you were right about me_. But she only shrugged in response.

Mike leaned toward her further, a playful smile on his lips. “So, _ genius - _what’s your take on how the plot’s going to develop? I mean, I know a little bit, but I wonder…”

* * *

The rest of El’s shift passed like this: Mike chatting away, sometimes wanting her take on things, or posing questions.

El struggled to respond to most of them, not because of how much further she was straying from the rules — although that _ should _ have been the thing causing distress — but because she realized that she’d never genuinely been asked what _ she _thought about something.

Sure, her and Hopper shared their opinions, bantering about the latest episode of _ Miami Vice _or arguing over what music to play in the car, and sometimes he asked for her input on basic things. But even with him, certain key choices were already decided for her; mainly how much she was supposed to stay in the cabin, and how little contact she was allowed to have with anyone at or outside of Benny’s. 

In the lab, of course, she’d had no choices at all. 

So to be asked, _ What do you think, El? _ in the most sincere way, by someone who was truly interested in the answer, wasn’t just new, it was nice. _ Really _nice. It was something she could definitely get used to, something that made her feel like…. herself. And the fact that it was Mike asking her what she thought, well… that was a whole other aspect. 

Each time he tilted his head and smiled, waiting so patiently as she stumbled over her words, she felt the air shift; like an invisible force was winding itself around her limbs, beckoning her closer to him, and not just in the physical sense.

El nearly flinched when she heard Benny emerge from the kitchen, and Mike seemed jolted by it too, sitting upright quickly on his stool. 

They’d been so engrossed in conversation that she hadn’t bothered to check the time, but it was nearly midnight. The diner was empty, and El realized she hadn’t even noticed the few other customers clear out.

Benny gave a noticeable glance between the two of them before nodding in El’s direction. “I’m nearly wrapped up with all the kitchen stuff. You good up here?”

El nodded, and then he disappeared into the back again. She couldn’t help her disappointment as she saw that Mike had started to pack up his things.

“I better get going,” he said, sliding off the stool. He studied her for a moment, a worried look on his face. “I hope I didn’t distract you too much.”

El shook her head. “You didn’t,” she told him, even though it had taken her twice as long to get through her regular list of duties. 

Mike looked at her briefly before glancing down again, like he was working up the courage to say something else. 

“Speaking of that,” he started, “I… I really like talking to you, El. But I don’t want to come in here and - I don’t know, be a disturbance or anything while you’re working. I can just… I mean -”

“You’re not,” El blurted, the words rushing out before she could think. “You’re not a disturbance at all, I - I like talking to you, too.”

Mike looked surprised, and she knew it was because it was the most unguarded she’d been all night. She tried to ignore the way her heart hammered nervously, a warning: _ You’re not being fair to him. _

“Oh. Well, that’s - that’s good,” he said. 

He tucked his hands into his backpack straps, rocking back and forth on this feet, and El could see how much he was blushing. 

“I guess I’ll see you next week, then? Monday?”

Too afraid of what else she’d let slip, El just nodded. 

Mike was beaming at her now. “Great. I look forward to hearing more of your genius ideas.” 

It was El’s turn to blush. “I’ll do my best,” she replied, hardly able to look at him.

There was a pause, and then Mike gave her one last smile before heading for the door. 

“See you, El,” he called back, turning to wave.

She waved back. “Night, Mike.” 

When he was out of sight, she turned and began tidying the countertop right away, sure that if she didn’t busy herself, the overwhelming mix of guilt and excitement would make her unable to think straight. 

She’d done the exact opposite of what she was supposed to, what she’d promised to, and yet… it felt so right, like the easiest thing in the world. Too easy.

El had never felt anything like this; an energy that coursed through her whole body and gave her a profound sense of awareness, like she was on edge, but not in an entirely bad way. 

It wasn’t the same as what she’d read in books, where it always seemed to be about _ falling _ — in love with someone, or for someone, or into someone. If anything, in the short amount of time she’d been around Mike, she felt balanced, as though her center of gravity was being pulled in the right direction.

She was buttoning up her coat when she saw the familiar headlights of Hopper’s Blazer pull into the parking lot, right on time like always. After poking her head into the kitchen to say goodbye to Benny, she hurried out into the cold night. 

Hopper leaned over and opened the passenger door as she climbed in, and like usual, she reached across the console to hug him before settling into her seat. It was always so comforting, being pulled into his embrace; his rough beard tickling her cheek and the smell of cigarettes clinging to his Hawkins P.D. uniform.

“Good shift?” he asked as they peeled out of the parking lot.

“Yep,” El replied, keenly aware of needing to sound as normal as possible. There was more to keep from him now, and the guilt over it was already winding its way through her chest. “What about you?”

Hopper sighed. “A few calls about some vandalism, but other than that it was quiet, like usual.”

“That’s good,” El replied, huddling up against the side of the door.

“What was Mike Wheeler doing in there so late?”

El froze. She resisted the urge to turn in her seat to look at Hop, not wanting to seem too eager. 

“Who?” she lied, keeping her eyes trained on the window. 

“Mike Wheeler - he’s a kid about your age. I saw him pulling out of the parking lot just before I turned in.”

_ So he didn’t see us talking, _El thought, relieved. 

She could feel Hop’s eyes on her, but she was still too nervous to look in his direction. “How did you know it was him?”

“Hawkins is pretty small, kid. I’ve seen him around before.”

“Oh yeah?” El asked, figuring it was better to feign mild interest than none at all.

“Yeah,” Hopper said. He chuckled to himself for a moment before continuing. “Actually, I busted him and his friends once about a year ago, when they were trying to get into the high school after hours. Said they just wanted to use the radio equipment, or something.” 

A familiar feeling came over El, the same one she had when Benny mentioned that Mike had been to the diner before with his friends. 

“Oh,” she said after a while, too tired and overwhelmed to think of anything else.

She could sense that Hopper wanted to say more, and she silently willed him to hold off. She didn’t have the strength to conjure up more lies, more disinterest, when it was clear to her that she felt anything _ but _that for Mike.

To her relief, Hopper leaned forward to turn up the radio dial, and a slow song El didn’t know filled the car. She tucked her feet up onto the seat, listening as they drove through the dark.

When she closed her eyes, she saw images of Mike; him and his friends in a booth at Benny’s, laughing and talking as they shared fries and milkshakes, or sneaking around the outside of their school, sharing in the thrill of doing silly teenager things.

He had a life — one El was far from familiar with. 

She wondered how long it would take for him to sense that something was off with her; that they lived in entirely different worlds, even if it didn’t seem that way on the surface. 

But El didn’t want to think about what would happen then. She wanted Monday night, with Mike standing in the doorway, smiling at her as though nothing else mattered. 

She could pretend to be whoever he saw her as, at least for a little while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it really a Mileven fic if El doesn’t at some point marvel at Mike’s ‘constellation of freckles’?? (The answer is no - that is my favourite trope in this fandom and you can pry it from my cold, dead, fluff-writing hands)
> 
> Please leave me your thoughts. As always, I’m on Tumblr @maplestreet if you’d like to come say hi, or have questions about fics/headcanons/my opinions on ST in general. (Seriously, don’t be shy - interacting with readers is the whole reason I started my blog in the first place). Thank you for reading and see you next chapter! 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi loves! Just want to note that there are brief mentions of El’s abuse in the lab right at the beginning of this chapter, before the first line break - so be aware of that if it might be difficult for you. 

_ El’s fingers trembled as she felt around for the damp rag in her pocket. It was soaked in the substance she’d taken out of an exam room, from an amber bottle with the name she recognized from when they’d used it before, to subdue her when she wasn’t cooperating. _

_ She hoped she’d wetted it enough for it to work on the guard who sat across from her, looking bored as he reviewed something on a clipboard in his lap. _

_ The truck bounced and jostled, and El secured herself against the pile of boxes stacked next to her. They’d smuggled her out in a regular supply truck, with just enough room for her and one guard to tuck in against the sliding back door — which would luckily make it easier to get out when the moment came. Though it would be more difficult, she’d have to do it while they were moving, so as not to raise suspicion. _

_ And she had to do it soon. She knew they were heading somewhere remote, somewhere, as she heard Papa murmur late one night, “Where no one would think to look for a body.” _

** _Her _ ** _ body. _

_ She assumed the lab was near some kind of civilization, and El guessed that her chances were better if she could get out while they were still relatively close to it. She studied the guard carefully, securing the rag in her fist as she took an even breath, her heart hammering wildly in her chest. _

_ In one swift movement she lurched forward, shoving the rag against his mouth and nose. His shout of surprise was muffled, and he clasped his hands around El’s wrist, trying to wrench her away. But it was too late; the substance was taking hold, and she watched in terror as his eyes began to droop and his grip on her went limp. _

_ She waited another full minute just to be sure, and then, her body coursing with adrenaline, she reached for the key ring on his belt loop. Once it was in her hands she shuffled over to the sliding door, desperately searching for the right key, her efforts stymied by the truck’s movements. _

_ Nothing was working, and her desperation grew with each second, fear rising in her throat as she tried and failed to open the door. Just then the truck slowed, coming to a halt within moments, and she heard a door slam as a voice she recognized called out - _

El jolted upright, heaving for breath as she scrambled to register her surroundings. 

Though she was clearly in her room at Hop’s cabin, it took a few moments to be convinced. She grasped at the sheets tangled around her, kicking them off as she sat up all the way, her pulse still jumping in her throat.

“Just a dream,” she murmured to herself _ — _a variation of the same one she’d been having at least a couple of times a week since Hop took her in. She always woke the same way; gripped with fear, sure that it had all been real.

It was as though her mind was testing out alternate versions of the night she escaped, each dream featuring a different twist that lead to it all veering in the wrong direction. 

In one of them, she felt in her pocket for the rag, only to realize she’d forgotten it. In another, the guard had been able to fight her off, pinning her down before she could smother him.

She always woke up before she got to the end of the story, the realization of her greatest fear; what would’ve happened had the plan not worked and she stayed in the truck until Papa came for her, leading her to a dark field somewhere, her fate sealed.

But it hadn’t been _ — _and El reminded herself of this as she laid back down, placing her hand over her heart in an attempt to soothe its erratic pace. 

Everything had gone exactly the way she’d planned for it to, after that night when she heard Papa talking to the others outside her door. 

The guard had been knocked out with minimal struggle, she found the right key for the truck’s door on the third try, and after lifting it just enough for her body to fit through, she’d tumbled hard out onto the pavement. 

There was no time to register the extent of her injuries _ — _after scrambling to her feet, and without any idea where she was, or where she was going, she’d sprinted into the woods at the edge of the highway. She ran for nearly half an hour before she collapsed, a searing pain in her head and the throbbing of her muscles forcing her to stop.

She remembered how silent it was, the bright moon casting fractured shadows through the trees as their branches creaked in the wind. She remembered rolling onto her back and looking up at the sky for the very first time _ — _ that neverending expanse of darkness dotted with pricks of sparkling light. It was so beautiful that she’d gasped, and then sobbed; an immense relief wracking her body as she laid there, aching and bloody, but for the first time in her life, _ free_.

She could have stayed there forever under the light of the moon, but she was hurt, and cold, and she knew she had to find some kind of shelter. So she’d risen to her feet, staggering slowly on until she saw a faint yellow glow piercing through the dark.

Hopper’s porch light.

Everything happened quickly after that. 

He told her later that he’d been unable to sleep that night, and was sitting outside smoking a cigarette when he heard her approaching. Having lived alone out there for a while, Hopper said he’d grown used to the sounds of the woods, and her human footsteps were distinct. 

El hadn’t replied when he called out and asked who was there; she was only half conscious, unable to make her voice loud enough to call back. The last thing she remembered before passing out in Hopper’s arms was how he smelled; like cigarettes and woodsmoke, a smell she would come to associate with safety. With home.

El shifted onto her side, tuning into the sounds of him snoring in the next room. So much had gone right that night, and she couldn’t imagine what might have happened if Hopper hadn’t found her, let alone been willing to take her in. 

If it weren’t for him, she might never have been able to see the sky again.

* * *

“Wait… you mean to tell me you’ve never seen _ Ghostbusters_? Like, not even once?”

El laughed and shook her head. “Nope. Not even once.”

It was a Monday night, coming up on almost three weeks of Mike visiting El during each of her shifts at Benny’s. 

His presence had become a comfort, and she looked forward to it each time; the way he’d walk in the door and smile at her, taking up a seat at one of the high stools like it had been his spot for years. And it felt like it had — it felt like she’d _ known _him for years, and now that Mike Wheeler was a fixture in her life, she wanted it to stay that way. 

Which, of course, was a problem; just like the fact that she was right about never wanting to stop talking to him.

But like that second night, any notion of needing to shut him out, because getting close to anyone wasn’t allowed, well… it all fell by the wayside when he looked at her, when he asked her a question and made her feel like what she had to say was important.

Despite this, there was a clear imbalance; El definitely knew more about Mike than he did about her, which was intentional. It wasn’t that he didn’t ask about her personal life, but that she always skated over the answers when he did, or diverted the conversation to something else. Mike clearly sensed this, and after a few visits he stopped doing it entirely, which El should’ve been relieved by, but… despite everything, she still wanted him to know her.

But he couldn’t, not in the way she envisioned — and since she was already breaking the rules by talking to him at all, she figured she better uphold at least some of what she’d promised Hopper. 

Most of the time, they settled for talking mainly about Mike’s life: what kinds of movies he liked, who his friends were, what he did after school. He’d get El’s input on things when he could, describing new books and asking her which one he should read, or telling her about the assignments he was struggling with (which was rare; Mike, she learned, was _ really _smart).

All of it made El both incredibly happy and hopelessly sad, aware as she was that the three visits a week were all she could have of Mike; and even those could be put in jeopardy if Hopper found out.

She wanted more, in every sense. And if her instincts were right, she was pretty sure Mike did, too.

His last few visits had been different in a way El couldn’t discern. He seemed more nervous when he talked, and sometimes during a lull in conversation he appeared distracted, like he was turning words over in his head that he wasn’t sure how to say. 

El knew that feeling, but there was something more to it; like each pause was a precipice they were both standing on, waiting to see who would jump first.

It was like that tonight, El laughing again at Mike’s incredulous reaction to the fact that she hadn’t seen _ Ghostbusters_.

“That’s - that’s a travesty! Trust me, you are _ really _missing out, I mean…” he trailed off as El ducked down behind the counter, looking for a jar to dump some coffee grounds in. 

She heard him clear his throat. “I have it on tape at home, actually,” he said, the words coming out in a slightly higher pitch, “We should - we could watch it sometime.” 

_ I would love to_, El thought reflexively, and she bit her lip in an attempt to stop the words from escaping. 

She was grateful he couldn’t see her face, because she knew she’d turned beet red. Her mind raced frantically as she stayed below the counter, pretending to still be looking for a jar. She wanted more than anything to spring back up to her feet and say yes, but she couldn’t.

_ Just brush it off_, she thought bitterly.

“Yeah, maybe,” she muttered. She stood up after a moment, gesturing to the kitchen without meeting his eyes. “I just need to ask Benny if he has anything for the coffee grounds,” she said quickly, hurrying away before he could respond. 

She made a beeline for the storage area, needing a spot that was shielded from everything, and quiet. When she got there, she turned to rest against one of the large freezers, closing her eyes as she leaned her head back. 

A thought that had been hovering in the back of her mind since that first night came to her again: _ You’re not being fair to him_.

It was true _ — _ she wasn’t. But she also wasn’t able to explain why she couldn’t do something as simple as watch a movie with him, or anything simple at all, for that matter. She didn’t know what she would do if this kept happening — if he hinted at wanting something more, _ anything _ more, and she had to keep brushing him off. 

A different thought arose then: _ He’ll give up eventually_.

El’s eyes pricked with tears as the reality of what that would mean settled over her. She wanted to believe that Mike wouldn’t give up so easily. 

Though it would make everything harder than it already was, she hoped she was right.

* * *

“Alright, walk me through this again - _ why _haven’t you asked her out yet?”

Mike sighed as he slouched down in his seat. It was lunchtime and the Party was huddled around their usual table, evidently intent on grilling Mike about what had been deemed ‘The Diner Girl saga’. 

“Well, I did, _ kind of_, I tried -”

Lucas held up a hand to stop him. “What do you mean ‘kind of’?”

“She said she’d never seen _ Ghostbusters_, so I said, ‘Oh, I have it at home, we should watch it together sometime’ - or, yeah… something along those lines.”

From her spot next to Lucas, Max let out an exasperated groan, throwing her head back dramatically. “That’s not _ asking her out_, Mike! That’s offering to let her watch a movie in your basement.”

“But, I mean, I - I think that counts… right, guys?” Mike glanced around at the rest of the Party for support, only to find that they were all wearing similarly unimpressed looks. 

“Mike,” Max said, shaking her head in disappointment. “I say this with love, but you are hopeless sometimes.”

“Oh come on, that’s not fair! I _ did _ say that -”

“Ah - hold on a second, let me finish,” she interrupted, “If you really like this girl, you can’t be that casual. You have to ask her on a _ real _date.”

Mike crossed his arms, sighing as he realized that Max was right (though there was no way he was going to admit that). 

It _ was _ kind of lame that he’d only gotten as far as mentioning watching _ Ghostbusters _ in his basement. But El still seemed so shy, and he didn’t want to come on too strong — especially when she hadn’t had the most enthusiastic reaction to his suggestion. Regardless, he really, _ really _did want to take her on a date.

He turned to Max. “So what do you suggest, then? Going out to a movie instead?”

She frowned. “Hmm, I don’t know... you said she’s pretty shy, right? Having to be quiet at the movies probably wouldn’t be ideal.”

She was right again, but Mike didn’t let on. 

Dustin piped up from across the table. “What about the arcade?” 

Max smiled, leaning over to nudge him on the shoulder. “Now _ that’s _what I’m talking about,” she said, turning back to wink at Lucas. “That’s where Lucas took me on our first date.”

She fell back against him and he pulled her into an embrace, eliciting a collective groan from the rest of the boys. It was a habit they’d started in eighth grade whenever Max or Lucas showed any PDA, and they kind of just never stopped, always up for a chance to tease the two of them. 

“That’s right,” Lucas said, ignoring them and smiling proudly. “Perfect date spot. Fun games, lots of opportunity for healthy competition, a few dark corners…”

“_Gross_,” Mike muttered as rolled his eyes, “That’s your selling point?”

Lucas shrugged, gesturing to Max. “Worked for us, didn’t it?”

That made them all laugh, and although Mike had been annoyed at first, he was grateful for the help. 

He leaned forward, smacking his hand against the centre of the table in a declarative manner. 

“Alright,” he said, looking around at his friends, “Arcade it is.”

* * *

The monthly delivery truck had come by earlier that day, and though El normally didn’t mind the laborious task of sorting the new shipment, this time she resented it beyond measure. It meant she didn’t get to stay behind the front counter and spend her whole shift talking to Mike, like usual.

Instead, she had to go back and forth whenever she got the chance, getting small doses of him to tie her over — which was especially torturous, because he looked extra cute that night. His unruly black hair was a little more tame than usual, and a crisp dress shirt peeked out from the collar of his light green sweater, making his dark eyes even more pronounced. It made for an image El wanted to memorize, one she knew she’d think of later.

El had started to think about Mike a _ lot _— or, more accurately, dream about him. It always played like a film montage: the two of them holding hands, walking in a sunny field; cuddled up on the couch at the cabin, watching a movie, or, El’s favourite so far — them lying next to each other under the night sky, both looking up in wonderment.

The defining feature of each one was freedom, everything she didn’t and couldn’t have; the ability to be with Mike however she wanted to, with no lies or guilt. 

She must’ve been letting the effects of these dreams show, because Hopper had started to notice that something was up. 

He’d seen Mike’s car leaving the parking lot again last week, and when he mentioned this to El, she mumbled something about how she’d seen that he was doing homework. When Hop asked if she’d spoken to him she said she had, a little bit; and though it was definitely an understatement, it felt good to have a small portion of the bigger lie off her chest.

Still, El expected him to be upset by it, but instead he’d just kept looking over at her as they drove home, his expression cautious, almost scared.

“El,” he’d said, his voice gentle, “You know you can talk to me, right?”

She’d almost let everything out then, his tone luring her into a sense of security. But she held off. “What do you mean?” 

“I mean, if something’s bothering you, or you just have stuff on your mind, you can tell me about it.”

El could hardly keep the nerves out of her voice. “Does it seem like something’s bothering me?”

Hopper had just shrugged, and El could sense that he felt uncomfortable. “I don’t know, kid, it kind of feels like you’ve just been more… withdrawn, lately.”

She didn’t mean to keep parroting questions back to him, but she didn’t understand what he meant by that. “Withdrawn?”

Hopper had glanced at her, smiling a little when he leaned over and ruffled her hair. “Yeah, you know, in your head too much. Quiet.” 

He was right, and El wondered if denying it would only make him more suspicious; so in the moment, she’d decided to give a small portion of the truth. “I guess I’ve just been thinking more lately, about… about how things are.”

“How things are?” Hopper had asked.

“Yeah, you know, like me staying hidden and stuff, and - and all the rules.” 

Though El had been afraid that she pushed it too far with that, Hopper had just sighed, like he’d been expecting her to say that. 

“Look, I know it sucks, trust me,” he’d said, “But it has to stay like this, at least for a little while longer. I want you to be safe.”

“I know.”

“And our rules have done that so far, right? Kept you safe?”

El hadn’t been able to look at him, even though he’d nudged her when he said that. “Yeah,” she told him, even though she wasn’t really sure if she believed it. 

Their rules had certainly kept her shielded, but safe was beginning to mean something else to her.

A few minutes later Hopper asked her if she’d been writing in her journal, and though answering yes hadn’t been a lie, she spent the rest of that ride home feeling guilty as she remembered what the last entry had been:

_ The feeling I get when I’m around Mike stays with me for a long time after. Whenever I think about him it makes me happy, and calm, even though I still feel guilty for letting it go this far and for lying. The last time I had a nightmare, when I woke up, I started thinking about our last conversation. And when I replayed it in my head it made the bad feelings go away, like they were never even there in the first place - and I’ve never had that happen before, not that quickly... _

Sometimes everything weighed on her so heavily that she wasn’t sure she could hold it in anymore: both the lies to Hopper, and her rapidly growing feelings for Mike. El knew it was teetering on the edge of something risky, but she kept it together, desperate not to lose her evenings with him, those precious hours that brought her so much peace.

After unloading another box, she decided to go out and chat with him for a few minutes before starting the next one. She brushed off the front of her shirt, wishing yet again that she was wearing a nicer outfit. 

Benny didn’t enforce any kind of dress code, and El normally didn’t mind her usual combination of a flannel shirt and faded thrift store jeans, but being around Mike made her wish she had something a little more… impressive. But asking Hopper for a different set of clothes would definitely seem suspicious, so she just had to hope that Mike didn’t care too much about that kind of stuff. 

After adjusting herself a little bit more, she headed out to the front.

Mike had his head bent over a textbook, but when she made it to the counter he looked up, smiling the same way he had every time she’d appeared that night: like he was relieved to have her back.

“How’s it going back there?” 

“Pretty good,” El replied, “I’m just about done.”

“Oh, that’s good.” Mike clasped his hands together, leaning over the counter a little. “Um, do you - do you have a second?”

El knew she should tell him that she didn’t, but the way he was looking at her kept her rooted in place. “Yeah, sure.”

“Okay, great. Because I - I wanted to ask…” he trailed off, glancing down at the counter as his cheeks flushed red. “Have you ever been to the Palace Arcade?”

El’s stomach sank. She knew where this was going, and there was nothing to do but face it; say no and disappoint him, nudge him again toward giving up. 

“No, I haven’t,” she replied, gripping the front of her apron nervously.

To her dismay Mike’s eyes lit up, like that was exactly what he hoped she’d say. 

“Oh, well it’s this super cool place - I’m not sure if you like arcade games, but they’re a lot of fun, and they have a whole bunch of different ones, so I’m sure you could find one you like. And it’s… yeah, it’s great there.” 

He paused and El squeezed her apron tighter, wishing he would stop almost as badly as she wanted him to continue. 

“Anyway, I - I wanted to know if… if you wanted to go there, with me? On Saturday?”

_ Shit, shit, shit_. El’s mind went blank and she frowned, scrambling for words to fill the awkward pause. “You mean like…. like, a date?”

El resisted the urge to cover her face with her hands in embarrassment — she was almost positive that’s what he meant, but the small bit of doubt had won over, the desire to be absolutely sure before she had to say the thing she _ really _didn’t want to say.

Mike’s eyes widened a little and he blinked a few times, like her words had roused him from a dream. “Yeah, um - like a date. Or not _ like _a date, but a date,” he said. “A real date,” he mumbled a moment later, almost too quiet for El to hear. 

He looked so nervous, his eyes meeting hers cautiously, like he was bracing himself for her answer. She had to look away, knowing her face would convey something different than her words.

“I appreciate the invite,” she began, rehearsing the answer she’d come up with on that night he’d asked about _ Ghostbusters_. “But I - I’m not allowed to go on dates. Or, um, date…at all.” 

Saying it was almost painful, and El glanced down to see that her hands were shaking.

Mike raised his eyebrows, clearly not expecting that answer. He was visibly disappointed, his shoulders sagging as he leaned back on his stool. 

“Oh, I see,” he replied, “That’s, um - that’s okay. I understand.”

For some reason his words made it hurt even more, and El mumbled something about needing to finish up in the back before she hurried away to the storage area. 

She barely made it there before the tears began to slip out, and despite her efforts to hold off, everything came rushing out as she slid onto the floor, hugging her knees to her chest as she cried silently. 

She hated that she was right about Mike wanting more, hated that it didn’t change the fact that nothing could happen between them. It was right there, so close; the chance for all the things she’d been dreaming about to become real, just out of reach.

She drew in a shaky breath, knowing that if she kept crying it could make for an awkward encounter with Benny. Wiping under her eyes as much as she could, she stood back up and turned to another one of the delivery boxes, hoping she’d be able to lose herself in the work and forget about it, at least for the time being. 

She began to numbly sort things into their respective places, trying to shake off the feeling of Mike’s presence, the awareness of him just beyond the door. She couldn’t go back out there, not yet — she wasn’t confident she could face him without the truth of what she felt written all over her face. 

_ I’ll wait an hour, _ she decided. He’d probably be gone by then.

* * *

The textbook before him might as well have been written in Greek, based on how much Mike was failing to absorb the material. 

_ I’m not allowed to go on dates. _

He told El that he understood, but he wasn’t sure he really did. Sure, some people had strict parents, and maybe hers were super religious or something, which would certainly fit with the fact that she was homeschooled. But that couldn’t be the reason — it felt like something that would’ve come up by now, even with how cagey El was about her background. 

What he was struggling to understand was whether or not she’d just used it as an excuse not to go on a date with him.

Despite his lingering insecurities, so much of him believed that wasn’t the case; it was the way she bit her lip, like she was holding something back, and how the words she said sounded so… rehearsed. But she’d hurried away from him as soon as it was over, so Mike wasn’t able to get a good read on what she was really thinking anyway.

To make matters worse, it had been over half an hour now and she still hadn’t returned from the back, which led Mike to think she was avoiding him. And that really sucked, because within that time, he’d come up with a solution that might still be able to make the arcade work, and as poor at the outlook seemed, he still wanted to give it a try.

He wasn’t ready to give up just yet.

It felt similar to when he’d decided to give it one last try on that second visit by asking her if he could sit at the counter to talk to her. This time, he sensed the same disappointment in her voice, that hollow tone that suggested she felt something different than what she said. 

He could only hope he was right, because what he was beginning to feel for El… it was too strong to walk away from.

He checked his watch to find that he only had fifteen minutes until the diner technically closed. He made some halfhearted attempts to return to his homework, but it was useless; his heart thrummed nervously, his palms sweaty as he kept his eyes trained on the kitchen door, waiting for El.

Finally, with just a minute to spare, she emerged.

She stopped just before she reached the counter, clearly surprised that he was still there. 

_ She probably thinks you’re desperate_, Mike thought as he slid off the stool. Whether that was true or not, he was intent on following through with his plan.

“Hey, um, I - I’m glad you came back out,” he said, stuttering over his words. Her presence alone made him question what the hell he was thinking. “I wanted to ask something else, about… about the arcade.”

El’s eyes searched his face, hesitant. “Okay,” she said softly.

“What if I asked my friends to come along?” Mike began, “They’re really nice, I promise - I know you’ll get along with them. And that way, it won’t be a date. It’ll just be… you know, a friend thing.”

Mike hoped it sounded convincing. He wanted more than friendship with El, of course, but if for whatever reason that was her boundary, then he would accept it — as long as it meant he still got to be around her.

“A friend thing?”

It didn’t seem like something that needed further explanation, but Mike nodded in response anyway. “Yeah, I mean, since you’re not allowed to date, I thought - well, I… I was hoping we could still be friends? If that’s okay?”

El smiled at that, but her eyes were still distant, like her mind was somewhere else when she looked at him. 

“Um, yeah - we can be friends,” she said, and Mike swore there was a lilt of sadness in her words. “I’ll just have to ask about the arcade. But I can let you know, on Thursday?”

It was a far better outcome than Mike expected and he nodded enthusiastically, grinning at her. “Yeah, of course - no problem.”

They looked at each other for a lingering moment, Mike sensing that there was more she wanted to say. 

He checked his watch again before gesturing to the door. “I better head out, let you guys close up.”

El watched silently as he began to pack up his things. 

“I’ll see you Thursday,” she said as he pulled on his coat.

“Thursday,” he replied, smiling at her one more time before turning away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ‘A friend thing’... hmm, I wonder how well that’s going to work out for these two.
> 
> I realize that things have been moving pretty slowly thus far, but everything starts to tick up a notch in the next couple of chapters, and I hope you’re all as excited as I am for it. Also, I’m not normally one to make playlists for my fics, but there are two songs that I think perfectly capture the vibe of this story, so if that’s something you’re into, give ‘North’ by Clairo and ‘Say It’ by Maggie Rogers a listen. 
> 
> Come say hi to me on Tumblr @maplestreet, and as always, please leave your thoughts!


	5. Chapter 5

“You said you only talked to him a_ little bit_.”

“I did! I mean, at - at first. But there were times when he was the only customer there, and I don’t know… we just kind of - we started chatting. Casually.”

“And this casual chatting was enough for him to ask you on a date?”

El groaned, throwing her hands up in exasperation. “I told you, it’s _ not _a date. It’s a ‘friend thing’, like he said.”

Hopper scoffed and shook his head. “Teenage boys will say a lot of bullshit things, El, trust me.”

“Not Mike,” El blurted, “He’s not like that. We can trust him.”

She watched as Hopper considered this, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. 

It was Wednesday morning. El had been too nervous to ask him about the arcade the night before, and she’d finally worked up the courage at breakfast, as they both sat hunched over plates of Eggos.

Hopper narrowed his eyes as he looked at her. “You think you know him well enough to trust him?”

El put her fork down, mustering up her most serious glare. “It’s an instinct. A feeling.”

“A feeling? We can’t take risks just because of a _ feeling_.”

El sighed and pushed her plate away. She stretched a hand out, reaching across the table with her palm upturned. Hopper glanced down at it, skeptical for a moment before he gave in, meeting her halfway and folding her hand into his.

“Hop,” she said gently, “It’s been more than six months now. There’s been no sign of any of them. _ Zero _. And my - my powers haven’t come back either,” she said, a familiar dread coming over her at the thought. “How much longer do we have to keep this up? I have to… I have to start doing normal things at some point.” 

“You’re right, kid,” Hop replied, “But I was thinking more along the lines of a trip to the grocery store. Not a date with Mike Wheeler.”

“It’s _ not _a date, how many times -”

But he shook his head, holding up his free hand to stop her. “Even if it’s just a _ friend thing_, or whatever he claims, it’s not that simple. What if they invite you out to something else after this, huh? And people start to notice you around town, and -”

“That probably won’t even happen,” El interjected, “I don’t even know if they’ll like me or not.”

“I have no doubt they will, kid, that’s not the problem - the problem is you getting close to people.” He pursed his lips, studying her face before he spoke again. “You can’t make friends the same way they can.”

His words shouldn’t have stung that much — he was only speaking the truth, reiterating the internal battle already El had with herself after each conversation with Mike. Still, she felt her eyes begin to cloud with tears and she shoved her chair back, getting up from the table as quickly as possible.

Hopper stood too, following her as she made a beeline for her bedroom. “Hey, El - come on, I didn’t mean -”

“Yes you did,” she snapped, whipping around to face him. “You did mean it, and you’re right — I can never have real friends. I can never go out on a Saturday and do normal things… I can never even _ be _normal, I - I...” 

Her words dissolved into tears and she buried her face in her hands, angry with herself for getting so upset.

Hopper was in front of her in a few strides, and she let herself be pulled into his arms, grateful for the familiar comfort. She knew she shouldn’t be angry at him. It wasn’t his fault, really — he just wanted to keep her safe, even when that meant reminding her of harsh realities.

After a while he nudged her, and she leaned back as he placed his hands on her shoulders, looking at her with reassuring eyes. 

“Hey, listen to me,” he said as El sniffled, wiping her eyes on her shirtsleeve. “I want you to have a normal life, and friends, and all that stuff. Trust me, I do. This is just… it’s scary, alright? I’m scared of what could happen, that’s all.”

El nodded, his words making her want to cry even more.

He wrapped an arm around her again, kissing the top of her head. “I have to think about Saturday,” he murmured, “Just give me until tonight, alright?”

It wasn’t the answer El was hoping for, but it was progress. She craned her neck to look up at him, hoping her eyes could convey how much she wanted this, how right she was about Mike, and about trusting him. 

“Okay.”

* * *

“Are you sure she’s not like, really Christian or something? Like one of those people that goes around knocking on doors and stuff, asking if you want to get saved?”

Mike gripped the steering wheel tighter. He was already on edge, and Dustin’s relentless questions weren’t helping. 

He was mulling over a response when Will chimed in from the backseat. “I think Mike would know by now if she was, Dustin. It’s not _ that _ weird - some parents just don’t allow dating until you’re older, that’s all.”

Max leaned forward onto the center console, and Mike could see her grinning from his peripheral vision. “I think it’s kind of romantic,” she said, “Forbidden love, and all that.”

Mike rolled his eyes. “Please don’t start with that again.”

“What? I’m just pointing out -” she began, but Lucas must’ve given her a look, because her words cut off abruptly.

El had asked Mike to pick her up at Benny’s, and it made more sense to drop everyone off at the arcade first before going to get her. It worked out well, because Mike didn’t want El’s introduction to the Party to be during a cramped car ride, which had way too much potential to get out of hand and scare her off.

He pulled up to the Palace Arcade’s front doors, idling as his friends clambered out. “Meet us by the pinball machines!” he called to them out the window.

Lucas turned back to give him a thumbs up. “If you don’t return,” he shouted, “We’ll assume you’re off somewhere sucking face!”

Mike just scoffed, too distracted to bother with a response. He looped back out of the parking lot and turned in the direction of the diner. 

He couldn’t help but feel excited to have a moment alone with El, even though he knew he shouldn’t be. He’d been the one to make the distinction that it was just a friend thing, after all, and he vowed to stay within those parameters, but still… it didn’t make his feelings for her any less prevalent.

_ I can do this_, he told himself, nervous energy coursing through his body as he got closer to Benny’s. _ I can be her friend. _

_ Right? _

* * *

Mike was wearing _the _sweater: the beige one with the green pattern across the chest. The one that was so cozy looking, it had caused El to get lost in a daydream in the middle of a conversation with him — a daydream about being wrapped up in his arms.

She kept stealing glances at him as he drove, keenly aware that sitting in his passenger’s seat was the closest she’d ever been to him. That awareness formed an energy within the car, a heaviness that made El feel short of breath, like the volume was turned up on all of her senses. 

The urge to reach out and touch the sleeve of his sweater — to find out for herself just how cozy it was — was so overwhelming that she tucked her hands under her knees, not trusting her own self restraint.  
  
She tuned into what Mike was saying about his friends. He’d been giving her a short description of each member of what he called the ‘Party’, which was a term from a game El had never heard of.

“....and the thing about Dustin is that he’s _ super _funny, but he definitely loves to tease everyone, so watch out for that, I guess.”

“Dustin - teasing. Got it,” El replied, relieved to see that it made Mike smile.

They pulled up to a stoplight, and when he looked at her that invisible energy pressed closer, her heart fluttering in her chest. 

“I’m really glad you could make it,” he said, and El swore she detected the same shortness of breath in his voice.

She waited until he started driving again to reply. “Me too,” she said quietly.

Mike laughed a little. “Now that sounded _ very _convincing.”

El squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, willing her nerves to dissipate enough so that she could at least act normal. Mike had no idea how big of a deal this was for her — getting to go out in public freely, meet up with friends like it was something she did all the time. 

“I’m sorry - I really am glad, I promise,” she blurted, trying to read Mike’s expression from the corner of her eye. “I’m just… nervous.” 

She hadn’t planned on telling him that, but as was the pattern when she was around Mike, it felt like the right thing.

“Nervous?” he repeated, keeping his eyes straight ahead. “That’s fair, I mean you are meeting new people and all, but… there’s no reason to be, trust me. Besides, my friends are excited to meet you.”

El turned to him, glad that he wasn’t able to catch the look of surprise on her face. In the fading light she could see that he was blushing, biting his lip like he hadn’t intended to say that much. _ I know the feeling, _El thought. 

She didn’t want to further his embarrassment, but her curiosity won over. “They know about me?”

Mike’s blush deepened. “Uh, yeah, I’ve talked - um, yeah, they know about you.” 

El couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face, and she turned back to look out the window, a brimming excitement now mingling with her nerves. She imagined Mike talking to his friends about her with the same effervescence he showed in their conversations at Benny’s. Though she’d vowed not to get her hopes up — this _ was _supposed to be a friend thing, like he said — the thought still filled her with a familiar warmth.

They drove on in silence for a few minutes before Mike cleared his throat. “If you do feel nervous though, or uncomfortable, and you want to leave, or take a break, just let me know, okay?” he said, his voice cautious, gentle. “You can like, tap me on the arm or something. It’ll be our signal.” 

“Signal?” El asked, frowning.

“Yeah, a signal - just between us.”

Something within El shifted then, like an internal key had been twisted into the right lock. Though simple, his words implied that he would look out for her; that he’d protect her, even if he didn’t know the full extent of what that meant. She tried to steady her breathing, confused at the wave of emotion that had suddenly come over her. 

Mike looked at her, shaking her from her thoughts. 

“Sound good?” he asked, flashing a shy smile.

She nodded, smiling back. “Sounds good.”

* * *

The arcade was a sensory overload, and for El it felt magnified by a thousand. 

It hit like a hard shove as she took everything in: the neon-patterned rug beneath her feet, the high-pitched pinging sounds coming from every direction, the poster collage covering the walls. She scanned the room, relieved to see that it wasn’t too busy; it was mostly filled with people that looked to be her age or younger, all of them grouped around different machines.

She felt a hand brush her ribcage and she flinched, turning to find Mike looking down at her, a hint of amusement in his eyes. “All good?

El managed to nod, her side still tingling from where he’d touched her. “Yeah, sorry - I’m good.”

“Cool, right?”

El looked around again before smiling up at him. “Very cool.”

She followed as he led her to a row of machines that all looked similar. Mike waved to a group of four people standing at the side of one of them, and El assumed it was the Party.

One of the boys, whose curly brown hair was spilling out from under a red and blue hat, spoke up as they approached. “You made it just in time,” he said, a wide grin taking up his whole face, “Lucas and I were on the verge of beating Max’s high score in Dig Dug.” 

The only other girl standing with them immediately reached over and gave the boy a light punch in the arm. She had long red hair that El instantly thought was beautiful, and her bright blue eyes narrowed as the boy winced in pain. “In your _ dreams_, Henderson.”

“Geez, Max, just because you’re losing your touch doesn’t mean you need to resort to violence.”

“I swear, Dustin, if you say one more -”

“_Ahem_, guys,” it was Mike, interjecting with an authority that quieted them right away. “I want you to meet - um.... this is El,” he said, gesturing to her briefly.

She felt her face heat up as the group of them turned to look at her. “Hi,” she said softly.  
  
“As you probably guessed based on what I told you, this is Dustin,” Mike said, pointing to the boy with the curly hair.  
  
He gave El the same big grin. “All good things, I hope?”

She was about to respond but Mike went on, motioning to the shorter boy next to Dustin, who seemed shy but smiled at her kindly. “That’s Will, and then that’s Lucas, and Max.”

Lucas, a handsome boy who was almost as tall as Mike, looped an arm around Max, and her anger towards Dustin seemed to dissipate. “Nice to meet you, El,” she said, smiling, “Glad someone else is here to witness me take down these nerds.”

That made El laugh, and she glanced around at all of them. “Nice to meet all of you, too.”

There was a pause, and then Mike clapped his hands together. “Alright,” he said with that same authoritative tone, “Are we just going to stand around all night, or what?”

It was clear that Mike held some kind of leadership over the group, because they all sprung into action at his words, heading over to a set of machines emblazoned with the words _ DIG DUG _ in bright red letters. Dustin and Lucas sidled up to one machine and Max set up next to them, with Will, El and Mike standing back to watch.

“Just a fair warning, El, this usually gets pretty heated,” Will said, giving her an apologetic shrug. 

Mike crouched down a little next to her, cupping his hand near her ear. “Lucas and Dustin have been closing in on Max lately,” he murmured, “And she’s the Palace’s reigning champion, so it’s kind of a big deal.”

The feeling of Mike’s breath against her neck made El shiver, leaving her too distracted to respond. She thought the heady sensation of being close to him would’ve dissipated once they left the car, but instead it only got more intense, and she longed for him to have something else secretive to say so he could whisper in her ear again.

The three of them watched as the game started, Max pressing buttons and levers in a concentrated silence as Lucas and Dustin whooped and hollered, collaborating with a practiced precision. 

El looked on in amazement, her eyes darting between them as Will and Mike began cheering. She could tell how normal this was, how comfortable they were with each other, and it made her heart swell — this must be what it was like to have friends, to have people whose very presence made bad things seem a little farther away.

Though El couldn’t tell who was winning, the game seemed decided when Max raised her hands above her head, stepping back from the machine with a triumphant grin. “Take that, nerd squad!” she shouted as the noises on Lucas and Dustin’s machine began to die down.

The two boys looked at each other, shrugging with palpable disappointment. “Your girlfriend’s a monster,” Dustin muttered, and Max’s eyes widened in fury.

“I _ heard that_,” she seethed as she moved towards him, “You better watch out before -”

But Lucas caught her in his arms before she got any further, lifting her off her feet. He gestured to the rest of the room, like he was showing her off. “My queen!” he said loudly, causing a group of kids next to them to turn and look, “The reigning champion!”

Max’s face flushed red, and she squirmed out of Lucas’s grasp as the rest of the Party groaned and shook their heads, like it was a typical routine. El just smiled, unable to help imagining Mike doing something like that to her — holding her close and not caring that people were looking, wanting everyone to know they were together.

Dustin looked particularly unamused, muttering “_Traitor_,” under his breath as Lucas set Max back down.

Max smoothed her hair, a light blush lingering on her cheeks. “So, now that _ that’s _settled,” she said, motioning to where El was standing, “You wanna give it a try, El?”

El instinctively looked up at Mike, who met her with reassuring eyes. She _ did _ want to try, but she was too nervous to do so in front of the whole group, sure that they’d be able to tell how foreign everything was to her — but she wasn’t sure how to communicate this. So, as discreetly as she could, she reached a hand behind Mike and tapped him on the arm, just like he’d explained in the car.

He frowned at her for a second before the realization dawned on him, and, like he was reading El’s mind, he stepped away from the group, beckoning the boys to follow him. 

“Come on, let’s go check if they finally fixed the Pac-Man machine,” he said, nodding at Max, “Gotta give the champion some space to pass along her wisdom.”

They were out of sight a few moments later, and although El was grateful not to have an audience, she still felt nervous standing there in front of Max.

But it was like Max could sense this, and she waved a hand at the spot next to her. “Come on up,” she said, smiling warmly, “Let me show you how it’s done.”

El did as she said, watching as Max reset the game by pushing some coins into a slot below.

“Alright, so the whole thing is that you’re in this maze,” she began, “And you have to work your way through and destroy these tomato-looking things, and some fire-breathing dragons, but don’t worry — we’ll get there.”

She demonstrated which buttons and levers to use and when, guiding El as she took control and listened intently to the instructions. 

Before long she was picking up speed, buoyed by Max’s persistent encouragement. “There you go,” she kept saying, “You got this - yep, that’s it, crush those suckers!”

El couldn’t stop giggling, entertained by Max’s commentary and giddy with the feeling of being rewarded by the game, her fingers fumbling over the buttons. She didn’t make it nearly as far as anyone else had, but still, when it came to an end Max turned to her excitedly, lifting her hand for a high-five.

“You’re a natural,” she said, “A little more practice, and we can team up and absolutely _ destroy _Lucas and Dustin.”

El laughed, her heart soaring with a happiness that filled her entire body, something she instinctively understood as a feeling of belonging; of being part of something, however small. 

“That was fun,” El said breathlessly, “Thanks.”  
  
“Anytime,” Max replied, leaning back against the machine next to her. “I’m just glad to finally meet the girl that’s got Wheeler all out of sorts.”

_ What? _

A nervous jolt shot down El’s spine, and though she tried not to let it show, she could tell by Max’s smirk that shock was written all over her face. “Wh-what do you mean?”

Max crossed her arms, studying El momentarily. “I mean, I’ve known that kid since eighth grade, and I’ve never seen him like this over anyone before - not even _ close_.” 

El glanced at the floor, biting the inside of her cheek to keep from breaking into an expression that would give everything away. Though she sensed that she could trust Max, a faint voice in the back of her mind reminded her of the line she was supposed to stay behind: _ a friend thing _. 

“Oh,” she replied, barely above a whisper.

Max laughed, ducking her head a little and forcing El to look up. 

“El, that’s a _ good thing_. He’s happier than I’ve seen him in a long time, and with everything that’s been going on with his parents…” she trailed off and though El was curious, she could tell it was something private. 

Her heart sank, thinking of what Mike had going on beneath the surface. Though she’d sensed it before, she was angry for never trying to comfort him, for allowing the rules to keep her from doing what was right.

“Anyway,” Max continued, “You should see the way he is when he talks about you. He lights up like a friggin’ Christmas tree.”

El laughed; her whole face was totally red now, and there was no point trying to hide it. She thought back to how embarrassed Mike had been in the car after mentioning that the Party knew about her, and she couldn’t help the thrill of knowing that what she’d imagined was true.

She wasn’t sure what to say in response, so she just smiled at Max again. “I, um… thanks,” she muttered.

“Anytime. Just - don’t tell him I said that, okay? I have a reputation to uphold among those nerds.”

They both laughed at that, Max glancing back to where the boys were standing.

“So, you and Lucas,” El began when she turned around, “How long have you been together?”

“Hmm, it’s been…” Max trailed off, frowning to herself for a split second. “Almost three years now, actually.”

“Wow,” El breathed, and her wondrous expression must’ve been obvious, because Max burst into laughter again at the sight of it.

“Yeah, I know right?” she replied, shaking her head, “Can’t believe it’s been that long.”

El smiled. “You must really love each other.”

Max smirked at her, like she was trying to read what El meant by that.

“Yeah, we do. He gets on my nerves sometimes, of course,” she said, rolling her eyes. “I mean, you saw that embarrassing display earlier.”

El frowned. “I thought that was sweet of him.”

Max’s eyes widened, her jaw dropping slightly. “Sweet? Well, clearly we have different definitions of romance.”

El laughed, and before she could stop herself, she blurted out the question that had come to her a few moments ago. “When did you know?”

Max tilted her head to the side, her brows pinching together. “When did I know what?”

“When you were in love with Lucas,” El said, feeling shy suddenly, “I mean… when did you realize it.”

That same curious expression made its way back onto Max’s face as she studied El carefully. “Wow, you really don’t do small talk, do you?”

_ Shit_. El bit her lip, squeezing her eyes shut for a second. “Oh - I’m sorry Max, I didn’t mean to - I know that’s probably personal, I just -”

She stopped when she felt Max place a hand on her forearm. “_Relax _ El, I’m kidding. I like that you just cut through all the bullshit. It’s refreshing.” 

The redhead looked at her with reassuring eyes, an amused smile on her lips. “And to answer your question, I mean, I’ve never really thought about it before,” she went on, “But I’d say it was a few months after we started dating. I just started to feel so… calm around him, you know? Like even the worst day wasn’t really _ that _bad, because I had him. It was - yeah, just that feeling of being totally at peace, I guess.”

El nodded, because although she had zero experience compared to Max, she understood that feeling — and it had to do with the tall, dark-haired boy standing not too far away.

“Any reason you’re asking?”

El’s heart skipped a beat, and she avoided Max’s eyes, sure that she’d be able to see right through her.

“No,” she lied, shrugging, “You two are really cute together, I was… just curious.”

“Well, thanks. But don’t tell him I said that either, okay? Doesn’t hurt to keep him on his toes sometimes.”

El smiled, meeting her eyes briefly. “I won’t, I promise.”

That mischievous smile was still on Max’s lips, but she seemed to let whatever was on her mind go as she turned to gesture at the machine.

“What do you say we go for another round?”

El nodded in agreement, and a moment later Max was feeding the machine with more coins, egging El on as she turned to give the game another shot.

* * *

“Mike, would you stop creeping on them? They’re fine, they’re having _ fun_.”

Mike turned around so quickly at the sound of Lucas’s voice that he nearly gave himself whiplash. He’d been craning his neck around the corner toward where Max and El were still playing Dig Dug, but clearly he hadn’t been as discreet as he thought.

“I know, I just - I just wanted to make sure El’s okay, that’s all.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and started to rock back and forth on his feet, another one of his nervous habits.

“Look, Mike,” Lucas began, raising an eyebrow, “I know you told her it was just a ‘friend thing’ or whatever, but it is _ painfully _obvious that you’re in love with her.”

Mike’s head snapped up, his throat going dry as he scanned his friend’s faces. “What!? That - that’s ridiculous, I can’t - I’m not in _ love _with her, we barely -”

But Lucas wasn’t having it, and Will and Dustin’s silence suggested that they weren’t either. 

“Save it, okay? You’d have to be an _ idiot _ not to see it, and -”

“Oh what, so you’re saying I’m -”

“No, I’m not saying you’re an idiot — not this time, anyway — I was _ going _to say, it’s clear that she feels the same way.” 

Mike stood there, dumbfounded, heart hammering against his ribcage as he tried to process Lucas’s words. He looked quizzically at Will and Dustin, but their smug expressions told him that they agreed.

Being exposed for his evident feelings for El was one thing, but the assertion that she felt the same was something else. Mike had convinced himself that the signs he’d noticed — the way she blushed whenever they got close, or how sometimes she looked at him like his eyes held some kind of secret — were all in his head, a result of what he longed for deep down. And even though he was inclined to believe his friends were teasing him, it was clear they saw _ something _there, something that was more than friendly.

Still, he shook his head, remembering grimly that even if they were right, nothing was going to come of it, anyway — not anything driven by him, at least. He didn’t know what circumstances El was facing, but he had to respect it if he wanted there to be a chance that whatever was brewing between them could potentially become more.

“Even if that’s true…” Mike began, still looking down at the floor. “You heard what I said before - she’s not allowed to date.”

Lucas scoffed. “Yeah, and I also heard what Max said: _ forbidden love_. It’s romantic.”

Mike groaned, pressing his palms against his eyes in frustration. “Oh god, not you too,” he murmured. 

He dropped his hands and met Lucas’s eyes, his next words coming out with a warning tone. “I don’t want to push her, though. Or like, make things weird… or whatever.” 

“I mean, yeah, admitting your feelings could definitely make it weird,” Lucas replied, “But don’t you think it’s worth a shot?”

_ Of course_, Mike thought to himself, but he kept it in, just shrugging in response.

It was Dustin who spoke next, stepping toward Mike to clap a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “You know what they say, Paladin. You’ll never know unless you try.”

Mike smiled in spite of himself, swatting Dustin’s hand away. 

“Yeah, well,” he said, glancing back toward Max and El, “I just hope Max hasn’t ruined my chances up front by saying something embarrassing.”

The three of them burst into laughter, and Mike’s heart sank, knowing the answer before Lucas could get to it. 

“I wouldn’t count on that, Mike,” he managed to reply once the laughing died down.

Mike kept his eyes on El, her back turned as she played another round of Dig Dug. He imagined the way her eyes were probably lighting up, transfixed on the game, and he bit his lip to keep from grinning. 

He was glad to see that she was having fun, even with the risk of Max saying something embarrassing. And the fact that she seemed to fit so naturally into this part of his life only made his feelings for her deepen, affirming the sense he’d already had that everything about being around her just felt _ right. _

Dustin’s words echoed in his mind: _ You’ll never know unless you try_. He hadn’t let himself think about what trying might look like, sure that those ideas had to be pushed away, or else he’d risk losing El entirely. 

But looking at her then, he could feel that resistance beginning to slip. The idea of crossing over the arbitrary line he’d imposed made him nervous, but he realized then that not knowing might be worse. 

Maybe he wouldn’t cross it, not entirely. Maybe he’d just step forward a little, extending a hand to wherever El stood, however far along she was to realizing the feelings she might have for him. Maybe she’d reach out too, and they’d find out where the middle was, together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies if that was a weird place to end things, but based on the pacing/layout of the next chapter, it’s what worked best. Also, when I say *the* sweater, I’m referring to the one Mike wears in season 2, episode 3 (“The Pollywog”), when they’re all at the school looking for Dart - that was one of his best outfits of the whole series, I take no criticisms.
> 
> So, thoughts? Is your Lumax heart quaking? Does the Party make for a good crew of “friend thing but it was really supposed to be a date” tag-alongs? What will meeting in the middle look like for Mike & El? Thank you for reading, and as always, I’m on Tumblr @maplestreet - I’ve been answering a bunch of asks over the past few days about Mileven and some other ST stuff, so come check that out if you’re into analysis/theory discussions.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so. This chapter is a bit of a… journey, I guess you could say. Enjoy (with all your wits about you, of course).

After meeting back up with El and Max, the Party spent the next hour making their way through an array of different games. 

Mike stayed next to El the whole time, both because he didn’t want to miss her reactions to anything, and so that he’d be close in case she felt nervous again. Even though she was a little quiet, she seemed to be enjoying herself; she laughed at the Party’s easy banter, and cheered when they watched one other play.

Eventually, they wound up back near the pinball machines. The rest of his friends quickly paired off, so Mike gestured to the machine El was standing in front of. “You should give it a go,” he said, “It’s pretty fun.”

She looked down, her eyes scanning the colourful maze beneath the glass. “Yeah… okay,” she said, her tone hesitant. 

Wanting to put her at ease, Mike stepped forward and slipped some coins into the slot. “It’s easy to get the hang of, don’t worry.”

“I - I’m sorry I didn’t bring any money,” El mumbled as the game came to life, “I didn’t -”

But Mike waved it off. “Don’t worry about it.” 

He pointed to the set of levers at the front of the machine. “So those are the main controls,” he began, and El tentatively put her hands on them. “You use them to move the pieces inside, and guide where the ball is going to go.”

She turned the levers slowly, leaning forward to see what the action had done. But it was clear she didn’t realize how quick the pace was, and the ball started to roll down the board with abandon. Without thinking, Mike stepped closer, crouching as he placed his hands overtop of hers. 

“Here, let me just…” he muttered, keeping his eyes trained on the game as he felt El’s hands go rigid. 

_ You’re probably freaking her out_, he thought, hoping his palms weren’t too clammy. He tried to seem calm as he gently coaxed her hands, helping turn the levers a little faster. After a moment he glanced at El from the corner of his eye, unable to read her expression as she watched the ball start to roll down the right path. 

Mike could feel that she was shaking slightly, and he took it as a sign to move his hands away, not wanting to weird her out any further. But a split second later — almost too quickly to detect — one of her fingers looped over his, keeping him in place. 

It was only the slightest touch, but Mike’s heart began to race, and he struggled to stay focused as the game went on. It was definitely harder to play pinball like this, but he didn’t want to move, and evidently El didn’t want him to either; so they stayed that way, Mike’s hands guiding hers as they steered toward a respectable win.

When the lights on the board died down there was a pause, and El turned to look up at him, their hands still intertwined on the levers. The usual distant expression she held whenever they met eyes wasn’t there — instead, Mike recognized that look he’d thought about earlier, the one that made it seem like she was searching for something in him. 

He was frozen in place, wracking his brain for something to say when she broke their gaze. “Thanks,” she said, withdrawing her hands so fast that Mike flinched. “That was fun.”

Mike just blinked, confused as to what had just happened. El crossed her arms tightly, like she wanted to reinforce the barrier she’d just put up. 

“Um - yeah, no problem,” he replied, clearing his throat, “I think I have some quarters left, if you wanted to -”

But he stopped when he noticed El was frowning, her eyes trained on something behind him. Mike turned to find what it was — and when he saw who was approaching, a cold, sick feeling pooled in his stomach.

_ Troy_. 

Troy Walsh, the biggest (and sadly, most popular) jerk at Hawkins High, and also the Party’s number one nemesis and bully since second grade. As usual, he was flanked by two of his meathead friends, part of the larger posse that seemed to follow him everywhere.

“Well well well, if it isn’t the King of Nerds,” Troy sneered, stopping a couple of feet in front of them.

Mike sighed, turning back to look at the rest of the Party. They’d all shuffled over to where him and El were standing, each of them wearing grim expressions as they registered Troy’s presence.

“And I see he’s got the rest of the nerd crew with him,” Troy continued, “But that’s no surprise. You mouthbreathers usually travel in a pack, especially to lame places like this.”

Lucas stepped up beside Mike, crossing his arms and glaring. By far the strongest of the Party, and, thanks to his spot on the basketball team, the one with some friends in higher places, he was the least afraid of Troy. 

“If it’s so lame, then what are you doing here, huh?” he spat.

Troy raised his eyebrows, clearly taken aback by Lucas’s boldness. “I’m picking up my friend’s little sister, _ midnight_,” he seethed, using the same awful racist insult he’d been hurling at Lucas for years.

“Get lost, Troy.” It was Max, who’d walked up to stand beside Lucas, her jaw set in a furious expression. “Go take your douchebaggery somewhere else.”

Troy and his friends laughed, unfazed, and a few tense moments passed where the three of them seemed to be sizing the Party up. Max and Lucas didn’t flinch, and Mike mentally thanked them for being so brave. He hated that he was still afraid of Troy, but the few black eyes he’d gotten over the years after some rare moments of being courageous gave him more than enough reason to be.

The silence was broken when a group of three young girls approached, and one of the friends turned to look at them, muttering “Dude, I gotta get my sister home,” in Troy’s direction. Troy gave the Party another menacing glare before glancing back toward the group of girls.

It seemed like they were in the clear, but seconds later, Troy suddenly bounded toward Mike, reaching forward to shove him hard in the chest.

Mike stumbled, and just as he was bracing himself to fall, he felt a firm hand on his back, keeping him upright. He whirled around to see El standing close, her fingers resting on his shoulder blade. In the half second he had to look at her face, he caught a glimpse of something he’d never seen in her eyes before — anger.

“You’re off the hook for now, Wheeler,” Troy yelled, and Mike turned to see him heading with his friends toward the exit. “But next time don’t count on your little shithead friends to defend you!”

There was a collective sigh, and Lucas put a hand on Mike’s shoulder as the Party huddled into a small circle. “You okay?”

Mike felt his face heat up as he tried to regain composure. “Yeah - um, I’m fine,” he mumbled, “I just don’t get why he _ still _has it out for me.”

“Maybe he’s hoping some of your intelligence will rub off on him,” Dustin offered, “God knows he could use a bump to his IQ.” 

That made everyone laugh, and though it dissolved some of the tension, the lighthearted vibe of the night had shifted. There was still technically an hour until the arcade closed, but it was clear no one was in the mood to play games anymore, so they decided to call it a night.

When Mike offered to come back and drive everyone home after dropping El off, Dustin shook his head. “No worries, man. My mom’s coming to get us.”

Mike laughed, noting Lucas, Max and Will’s unenthusiastic expressions. “Really?” he asked, eyeing them suspiciously, “You guys are cool to ride with Mrs. Henderson?”

“Of course,” Max replied, smiling tightly. “She’s a way better driver than Dustin, anyway.”

Dustin’s jaw dropped. “First of all, that’s not true,” he said, which immediately made Max roll her eyes. “And second of all, you _ know _ I only asked if she could pick us up so that Mike and El could have -”

But before he could finish, Will jabbed him in the ribs with his elbow, eliciting a yelp of pain. There was an awkward pause, and Mike felt himself blushing again. _ I’m gonna kill Dustin for his lack of subtlety later_, he thought. 

He looked at El, who hadn’t said anything since the incident with Troy. “Alright, well - you ready to go?”

She nodded, and he waited as she said goodbye to everyone. As they made their way to the exit, he looked back to find his friends watching them go, a mix of expectant and encouraging looks on their faces. 

The prospect of alone time with El made him even more nervous now, both because of the talk he’d had earlier with the boys, and because of everything that had just happened with Troy. 

Before, Mike had been encouraged by the fact that El wasn’t aware of his social status, allowing him to behave with a facade of confidence — albeit flimsy — that he may not have otherwise had. Now that was done for, and he was angry it happened the way it did; with him getting humiliated by his childhood bully like a total loser.

_ She would’ve found out sooner or later_, he thought, and though it was depressing, he knew it was true. She’d either take it or leave it — and at least that would tell him something about her character, which, even if the outcome wasn’t what he hoped, would be a good thing. 

There was no turning back now.

* * *

Away from the bright lights and constant noise of the arcade, Mike’s car was a blessedly quiet refuge. A lot had happened in the past couple of hours, and El relished in the chance to process it all. 

A confusing mix of feelings churned through her body: excitement from her conversation with Max, lingering nerves from the feeling of Mike’s hands on hers, and most prevalent, a seething anger from watching that boy hurt him.

For the very first time, El was grateful her powers were gone — because she was sure that if she had access to them in that moment, something dangerous would’ve happened. It was also the first time, after months of trying, that she felt that unique surge of adrenaline course through her, the one that came in the moments before using one of her abilities. Night after night, she tried and failed to elicit that feeling, but in those few moments of seeing Mike be ridiculed, _ something _had happened, something close to what she remembered it being like.

She was glad she’d stopped his fall, that she was able to do something to help. Thinking about what might have happened had her powers been available scared her, because she understood innately that it would’ve gone beyond her control. 

This was the problem, she was learning, with Mike: when she was around him, she couldn’t stay in control.

She couldn’t control herself on that first night, when he was heading for the door and she called after him and told him her shift hours. She couldn’t control herself on his second visit, when her internal promise not to start a conversation with him fell apart the moment he asked to sit at the front counter. And she certainly hadn’t controlled herself on all the nights after that, talking to him for hours on end, asking questions about his life, pushing the boundary further and further until it was nearly erased.

So much of it felt involuntary, like the way she’d looped her finger over his at the pinball machine, beckoning his hands to stay in place. The feeling of him being that close was just so _ right _ that when he began to move she panicked, wanting to do anything to keep him there.

It all felt so dangerously beyond her control, and sitting there in the dark of his car, she realized that keeping him at a distance was only going to become more and more impossible. 

She let out an audible sigh, causing Mike to glance over at her. 

“Everything okay?” 

“Yeah,” she replied, “Just tired, that’s all.”

She could sense that Mike didn’t buy the excuse, but there was no way she could say what was really on her mind.

He cleared his throat. “El, um,” he began, “I - I’m really sorry about Troy. I had no idea he was going to be there, I mean I’ve _ never _seen him at the arcade before, and it sucks that -”

“Sorry?” El interjected, “You have nothing to be sorry about, Mike.” The words came out in a rush, her anger rising up again. “That guy was just a... ”

“Douchebag?”

El laughed, remembering the word Max had used to tell Troy off. “Yeah,” she said, turning to smile at Mike, “A douchebag.”

“Tell me about it - he’s the worst.”

Though it was obviously a painful subject, the dejected lilt in Mike’s voice made El curious. “Why, um…” she asked, unsure how to phrase the question, “Why does he treat you like that?”

She could tell Mike was turning the answer over in his head. 

“Honestly, he’s been bullying us for so long that it’s almost normal now, which is kinda messed up,” he said. “Me and the Party… we’ve always been nerds, I guess, based on what other people think, and say. And Troy’s always been popular — or ‘cool’, whatever the hell that means. So it’s just part of the natural order, for him to be a jerk to us.”

El considered this. She knew most of what Mike was talking about, piecing it together based on TV shows and movies she’d watched, but it still surprised her. She didn’t know those kinds of social divisions — which Hopper always said were exaggerated — existed in real life, enough to make someone behave the way Troy did to the Party. 

“It doesn’t make any sense,” Mike continued, “Picking on us just because of… because of what we like. I still don’t get why it pisses him off so much, or why he even _ cares _ about anything we do in the first place. I can’t stand it, it’s just so…” he paused, frowning as he shook his head a little. “Sorry, um - this probably all sounds so stupid.”

Acting on a whim, El reached across the centre console and gently placed her hand on Mike’s arm. He seemed surprised, his eyes darting quickly to where her hand was resting; and despite how nervous it made El, the fact that she was _ finally _touching the soft fabric of his sweater made her insides twist in excitement. 

“It’s not stupid,” she said, her voice low and sincere. “I understand.”

They pulled up to a stoplight and Mike brought the car to a halt, turning to look at her with hesitant eyes. “You do?”

El’s reflexive reply of _ yes _ got caught in her throat, the look on his face enough to stop her. It was so… vulnerable, like he was afraid of what her reaction would be now that she knew these things about him. More than anything, it made her want to tell him the truth: that she was increasingly sure that _ nothing _could make her think less of him. 

But she only nodded, pursing her lips in an effort to keep her internal battle hidden. “Yeah,” she said quietly, “I do.”

The light turned green, and Mike gave her a small smile before his eyes drifted back to the road as he started to drive. She withdrew her hand from his arm, her palm tingling with warmth.

El knew something had changed just then, like the last bit of strength she’d been using to suppress her feelings gave way, his words having undone something vital. From her spot against the window she studied him carefully, struggling to identify what had just taken hold. 

And then the words came to her, one after the other, declarative and true. _ Safe_. _ Home_.

She didn’t just like talking to him, or being around him. It wasn’t just a _ crush_, as Hopper had suggested when he was teasing her earlier that morning. She felt safe with Mike, like even if something bad or scary happened, it wouldn’t have the same power, because she had him. 

_ You don’t _ ** _have _ ** _ him, _ El reminded herself. _ You can’t. _

But watching him then, oblivious as he looked ahead, that arbitrary rule felt like it was destined to be broken. Something had shifted, and El could feel the truth of it deep in her bones.

The orange glow from the streetlights diminished as they headed toward the outskirts of Hawkins. The radio began to crackle with static, and Mike leaned forward to fiddle with it until it picked up another station. 

“It’s only 10,” he said, gesturing to the glowing numbers by the dial, “We still have some time before I have to drop you off, if you wanted to… I don’t know, I mean - um, unless you’re okay to wait a little longer at Benny’s for your other ride? If you want to that’s fine, I can just -”

“No,” El blurted, and she cringed when she saw Mike flinch at the abrupt interruption. “I - I mean no, I don’t want to wait longer. We can stay out until it’s time to go back, if… that’s okay with you?” 

El’s heart thudded against her ribcage, and she knew it was a warning, a sign that she was turning things in a direction they shouldn’t be going. But she could see that Mike was smiling, and she knew she couldn’t backtrack even if she wanted to — and she didn’t.

“Yeah, of course,” Mike replied, an undeniable excitement in his voice. “I’m just not sure where we could go that would still be kinda close to Benny’s…”

El waited, feeling bad that she couldn’t be more of a help. The arcade was only the fourth actual place she’d been in her entire life, and she almost wanted to laugh at how crazy that would seem to Mike.

“Oh, I got it,” Mike said, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel, “The quarry.”

“The quarry?”

He glanced at her, the playful smile on his lips making her heart beat more frantically. “It’s this man-made lake, not far from Benny’s. Ever been there?”

El shook her head, causing Mike’s smile to widen. 

“Alright then, quarry it is.”

* * *

The high barbed wire fence made El nervous, but Mike assured her that people had been hanging out at the quarry after hours for years without a problem. When they arrived, he guided her toward an obviously worn gap between two of the posts, and then they were through, the bright moon illuminating their path. 

El wasn’t sure what to expect, so she gasped when the quarry came into view from their vantage point on one of the high banks. In the dark it looked like a cavernous black hole, but as she leaned over the edge she could see the water below undulating gently, the surrounding rock face glimmering in the shadowy light.

“Wow,” she breathed, stepping back. 

“Pretty cool, right? There’s a way to get down to the water, too. We come swimming here sometimes in the summer.”

El imagined the Party there on a listless afternoon, playing in the water or relaxing on the banks for hours on end. Just the thought of it evoked the epitome of freedom, something she still hadn’t fully experienced, and in that moment she longed for it so much it was like a physical ache.

She turned to look at Mike, who was waiting patiently behind her, his hands shoved into the pockets of his jean jacket. “Wanna sit?” he asked, nodding briefly toward the ground.

El walked to where he stood and sunk down next to him, hugging her knees to her chest. It had gotten colder since they left the arcade, and she was glad for the wool lining in Hopper’s old plaid jacket, even if it was a few sizes too big for her. 

She craned her neck up to look at the sky as Mike settled beside her. They were both silent for a minute or so, but it wasn’t awkward; even with the heavy conclusions she’d come to back in the car, El felt surprisingly calm. 

“It’s a pretty good spot to see the stars, huh?” Mike said, his eyes also turned upward. “Less light pollution out here.”

“What’s that?” El asked, unable to pull her eyes away from the mesmerizing sky. She was sure the stars shone even more intensely here than they did at Hopper’s cabin. 

“Light pollution?” Mike replied, “It’s when all the artificial light generated by houses and street lights and stuff messes with our visibility of the night sky, so we can’t see the stars as clearly.”

El loved how Mike always seemed to have the answers to her questions, no matter how basic or silly they were. After his third visit to the diner, she had started keeping a list in her journal of all the interesting things he told her, and she made a mental note to commit this one to memory so she could add it later. 

“Light pollution,” El muttered, saying it out loud by accident, instead of in her head. 

But Mike didn’t miss a beat. “I know, right? You’d be surprised how much of it there is, even in a boring little town like Hawkins.”

El tilted her head to look at him. “You don’t like it here?”

“I mean, it’s not the worst place in the world,” Mike said, shrugging. “It’s just… there’s so much _ more _ out there - places that are way more exciting.”

_ It’s definitely not the worst place in the world_, El thought, and she shuddered involuntarily, an image of pallid white walls and stainless steel flashing in her mind.

“Oh - are you cold?”

Mike shuffled closer, one arm reaching behind her shoulders, like he was going to pull her into an embrace. “No,” she said quickly, causing him to pause mid-movement, “No, I’m fine.” 

His eyes searched her face briefly before he withdrew his arm, leaning back with his hands resting on the ground behind him. El felt bad for stopping him; she didn’t want to, of course, but if she gave in, she wasn’t sure what would unfold, and that scared her. 

If she was being honest with herself, it wasn’t even about breaking the rules anymore — it was the fear of how much she’d begun to feel for him, and what that meant, and all the things she couldn’t be to him. 

“So where would you want to go, then?” she asked, hoping to shift back to their easy conversation. 

Mike’s gaze was distant, and El wondered if he heard her. But then he spoke, a little quieter than before. “Well, a lot of it will depend on where I go to college. Maybe Chicago - or Indianapolis, where my sister is.”

El had heard about Nancy before during one of their conversations at Benny’s; she was away at college studying journalism, and although Mike didn’t say much about her beyond that, El could tell they were close.

“Would you study the same thing as her? At college?”

Mike shook his head. “No - I don’t think I’d like journalism. I’d maybe do something in science,” he said, sighing, “That’s probably a good plan.”

“Now that sounded _ very _convincing,” El replied, mimicking what he’d said to her on the way to the arcade. 

Mike laughed at her impression of him, and El was flooded with relief as some of the lightness came back into voice. “It’s not that I don’t like science, I just - that kind of feels like what everyone would expect of me. And I don’t know, there are other things…”

He trailed off and El realized it was because he was shy, but she couldn’t help her curiosity. “Like what?”

He bit his lip, keeping his eyes ahead when he answered. “Like… um, writing? Creative writing, specifically.”

Judging by all the books he talked about, El wasn’t surprised. But Mike seemed sheepish about it, like this was a secret he hadn’t expected to divulge. She made sure her next words came out gently. “And what would be wrong with that?”

“Nothing, I guess,” Mike replied. He shifted forward, crossing his legs and resting his hands in his lap. “But a lot of people think it wouldn’t be a worthwhile thing to study.”

El turned so that she was facing him a little more. “If it’s important to you, it’s worth it. Besides, you’re lucky to have so many options.” 

His gaze met hers for the first time since they sat down, and the intensity in his eyes almost made El want to flinch away. But she looked back, emboldened by the darkness, letting him see whatever he wanted to see, whatever he read from her words.

“What about you?” he asked, “What are you gonna do when you get out of here?”

El smiled, even though the question made her sad. “Depends on if I even get out of here in the first place.” 

Though her words were loaded, Mike didn’t press it, allowing El time to come up with an answer to something she’d honestly never asked herself until that moment. In the end, she settled for a portion of the truth. 

“I haven’t thought about it much,” she said, looking up at the sky again. “I just know I don’t want to be near too much light pollution, that’s for sure.” 

She meant it to be funny, but Mike didn’t laugh, and she glanced over to find that he was also looking above. The nagging question on her mind persisted, and despite the fact that Mike seemed lost in thought, she decided to ask it. “Do you think you’d ever come back and live in Hawkins, after you leave?”

He inhaled sharply, pursing his lips for a moment before he replied. “I don’t know,” he said, sounding dispirited, “If it means I’ll end up like my parents, then… no way.”

El’s mind drifted to what Max had alluded to at the arcade, that something was off with Mike’s home life. She remembered how she’d felt angry at herself for never getting the chance to comfort him. Though it was definitely beyond whatever boundaries were left, she decided to take it this time. 

“What do you mean?” 

When Mike replied, his voice was tinged with a bitterness El had never heard before. “They’re both miserable, and I don’t want to end up like that.” 

It seemed like he didn’t want to talk about it any further, but the sadness in his expression made El’s heart ache. She wanted to help, or at least try to. “What made them that way?”

Mike’s shoulders sagged. “Who knows,” he mumbled, “I’m pretty sure they got married out of convenience and not love, for one thing. And now that Nancy’s gone, and I’m on my way out in a couple years, I think they just can’t fake it anymore. They don’t even care that I can hear them yelling at each other half the time.” He grimaced, like even just the thought of it made him angry.

El thought back to when she’d asked if his parents minded him being out late at Benny’s. He’d said they didn’t know he was there — ‘distracted’ was the word he’d used. El imagined him slipping out the door while his parents argued, completely unaware. 

She felt foolish for being envious of how normal Mike’s life was, or appeared to be. Of course it was normal compared to what El knew, but still… it didn’t mean there wasn’t any pain, or loneliness. 

She searched for something to say, but everything that came to mind seemed useless. “I’m sorry, Mike,” she said after a while.

He glanced at her, the corner of his mouth twitching up in a half-hearted smile. “Thanks.”

There was a pause, and El watched as that smile widened a little. “Actually, the reason I came to Benny’s that first night was because they were fighting, and I couldn’t get any homework done, so I got fed up and left.” He met her eyes again. “So I guess… that was a good thing.”

His words settled heavily over her, causing some kind of shift, the same one she’d felt in the car on the way to the quarry. 

“Yeah,” she replied, a little breathless, “A really good thing.”

El shivered again as a breeze rustled up around them, the night air hollow as it whistled past. She realized then just how alone they were, and how far she felt from everything she was used to, like they were in some kind of blank space in a universe different from Hawkins. It was just her and Mike, perched at the edge of some vast unknown, the inky black sky above them framed by the looming trees that stretched up towards it.

Mike looked at her for a moment, his eyes dark and intense like before, and then he leaned forward, his face coming in close to El’s. Her breath hitched, and she froze as he inched toward her, his gaze flicking down to her lips. 

Before she could process what was happening, her eyes drifted shut, giving way to instinct as she let herself move to meet him, her senses filled with everything _ Mike_, everything she so desperately wanted. Time seemed to stop completely, and El’s heart hammered wildly in her chest; he was close, barely an inch away now. 

But then she heard his stuttered breathing, and it was like a tripwire somewhere in the back of her mind snapped into place. She gasped, jerking her head back a split second later. 

Everything went still as she tried to get a hold of herself, watching helplessly as Mike came to his senses. He blinked a few times, and then his eyes widened in astonishment.

“I - El, oh my god, I’m so sorry,” he blurted, shaking his head back and forth frantically, “I shouldn’t have - I - I’m -”

“No, it’s okay - it’s okay,” El said, rushing to reassure him. 

It was entirely her fault — she shouldn’t have even allowed the opportunity for this to happen. Agreeing to come here with him, asking all those personal questions… maybe even saying yes to the arcade in the first place had been a huge mistake.

“No, it’s not,” Mike replied, still frantic, “I’m… god, I’m such an idiot.”

El’s heart sank; she wished she could explain how untrue that was, how _ she _was the idiot for leading him on like this. 

“You’re not, Mike, I’m - it’s not that… that I don’t want - it’s just…” El scrambled for something to say, for some shred of an explanation. He at least deserved that. 

“There are good reasons,” she mumbled, unsure if that would mean anything to him, but not knowing what else to offer. “I promise.”

Mike was nodding along, but El got the sense that he didn’t really follow what she meant. “No I know, I mean you told me about not being able to date, and everything, and I - I’m the one who said that it would be a friend thing, and then I went and…” he groaned, like he was scolding himself. “I’m really sorry, El.”

They met eyes and for a terrifying moment, El felt the truth on the tip of her tongue, threatening to spill over. 

Mike looked painfully embarrassed, and she hated that there was nothing she could do to fix it, hated even more that she couldn’t just reach forward and hold his face in her hands and kiss him like every part of her still so badly wanted to.

The moment passed when Mike glanced down at his watch. “It’s, um - it’s almost time to head back.”

He stood first and El followed, staying behind him a little as they walked back to the car. It was so markedly different from how they’d arrived, all calm and easy banter. 

Now El could feel the weight of the awkwardness between them sitting uncomfortably on her chest, and she wished she could make it go away. But she knew she couldn’t; pulling away from him like that had drawn her line in the sand, and to try to reverse it or go back to how she was acting before would just be confusing him.

Mike’s car wasn’t much of a reprieve from the cold, and El huddled further into her jacket as they pulled away from the quarry. She was grateful that he had left the radio on, so there was something to fill the increasingly uncomfortable silence as they made the short drive to Benny’s. 

El tested out various sentences in her mind, something intentionally vague that might still offer some kind of explanation for why she pulled away from him. _ It’s hard to explain, but I just can’t really get close to people like that_, or, _ It has nothing to do with you, Mike, I promise_.

But it was futile, and she knew it — dangerous, even. And so she settled for the tense silence, Mike looking ahead the whole time, his eyes never straying from the road.

When they pulled up to Benny’s, El noticed that Hop’s Blazer was already there, idling in the far corner of the parking lot. A wave of panic washed over her, but the clock on Mike’s dash indicated they were only a few minutes late; he couldn’t be _ that _mad at her.

She turned to Mike, who was looking down at his lap, like he was afraid to meet her eyes. 

“Thanks for driving me,” she said softly. 

“Oh, um - no problem.” He craned his neck behind him, looking around the parking lot. “You sure you don’t want me to wait until your other ride gets here?”

El nodded. Her other ride was already here, but Mike of course didn’t know that. “I’m sure,” she replied. 

She waited a beat before turning back to open the door, but just as her fingers looped around the handle, Mike’s voice stopped her.

“Um, I hope you… I hope you had an okay time tonight, El.”

She filled in the blank of what he’d so clearly left out: _ Even after what just happened_. And then she felt it again: that burgeoning desire to tell him the truth, rising up far too quickly. She looked back at him, taking in his nervous, yet still patient expression. 

“I did, Mike,” she told him, offering what she could of a reassuring smile.

He didn’t look convinced, but El was afraid if she stayed in the car any longer Hopper would notice and it would seem suspicious, so she opened the door, getting out in one swift movement. Just like her and Hop had talked about, she walked to the side of the building, leaning against the wall and watching as Mike backed out of the parking lot. 

She lingered after he was gone, a swell of tears pricking at her eyes as she watched his tail lights fade along the dark road toward downtown Hawkins. 

She knew what she had to do. 

Hopper would be waiting with questions about how things went, and she couldn’t let on that anything was wrong. Because even if she didn’t want to believe it, El knew he was right about the rules; what happened at the quarry showed her that they were there for a reason. It wasn’t just about protecting her, but about keeping others from being hurt, too. 

Whatever she was allowing to happen with Mike had to stop.

A moment later, she hurried across the parking lot to the Blazer, determined to push all thoughts of him from her mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would say ‘Don’t be mad at me!’ but I’d be mad at me too, so fair game. Rules are one thing for El, but these overwhelming new feelings coupled with her difficult past are another. She needs time, or maybe some kind of event that will force her to reckon with it all… hmmm.
> 
> Please leave your thoughts! I’m still answering some interesting theory/analysis questions about ST over on my Tumblr @maplestreet, so come check that out or say hi, whatever you’d like. As this is my last update before Christmas, I wish all of you who celebrate it a great one, and if you don’t, I wish you a peaceful & restful holiday season. (And also spread some cheer and drop a review, maybe?)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buckle in, loves. This one’s a rollercoaster. 
> 
> *Content note for brief descriptions of physical violence 

The Blazer hadn’t even fully come to a stop in front of the cabin before El threw her door open, desperate to get away from Hopper’s questioning. The whole ride home was filled with tension, El giving terse one-word answers to everything after they left Benny’s.

She slid out of her seat, slamming the door hard behind her. It was late, and she was exhausted — all she wanted to do was crawl into bed and try to forget this night as much as possible.

But apparently Hopper wasn’t going to let that happen.

“Hey, come on,” he called as he climbed out of the driver’s seat, “Don’t slam the door like that!” 

El didn’t reply, watching from the porch as he jogged up the steps after her. He had the keys, so she waited impatiently for him to open the front door; but when he reached her, he just stood there. After crossing his arms defiantly, he began to slowly swing the key ring around on one finger, like he was purposely trying to annoy her.

“You wanna tell me what’s going on?” he challenged, raising an eyebrow.

El groaned. “I told you, _ nothing _ is going on, Hop.” She looked at him with pleading eyes. “Can you please just open the door? I’m cold.”

He narrowed his eyes at her skeptically, but after a moment he conceded, stepping forward to jimmy the key into the lock. They made their way inside and El thought she was in the clear, but she only made it a few steps across the living room before he spoke up again.

“Ah - not so fast.”

El sighed, turning around to face him. “What?”

He took a deep breath, and when he spoke his voice was tight, like he was making every effort to restrain himself. “Look, if something happened that upset you, we can talk about it, alright? Whatever it is, I won’t get mad at you, I promise.”

“Hop, I swear, nothing -”

“If that Wheeler kid did something, you know I’ll -”

“Mike didn’t do anything!” El shouted, and she saw Hopper wince at the unexpected outburst. “It has nothing to do with him.”

“Well then what is it, El?” Hopper replied, his tone gentle again. “Because you begged me to go to this arcade thing, even though we both know it was a dangerous move. And then I pick you up, and you’re all… pissed off, or - sad, or something, I don’t -”

El felt anger roiling up in her chest, and she couldn’t help but raise her voice again. “I’m not pissed off! And I’m not sad, or anything, I’m… tonight was fine, okay? It was just fine.” She let out a hollow laugh as she considered the bitterness of her next words. “Actually, it probably wasn’t even enough for me to want to go out with them again. So there you go - you got your way after all.”

Hopper frowned, his features twisting in confusion. “Wait - what? What are you talking about? El…” 

But she’d already turned away, hurrying toward her bedroom as the tears she’d been holding back began to fall. Hopper followed her, but she made it just in time to slam the door in his face, locking it before he could force his way in.

“El, don’t do this,” he pleaded, knocking with enough force that the walls around her rattled a little. “Please don’t shut me out. We can talk about this.”

“There’s nothing to talk about,” El replied, barely able to keep her voice from breaking.

The door creaked loudly as Hopper leaned his weight against it. There was a long pause, and then she heard him sigh heavily. “I don’t want to get my way, El,” he said. His voice was sad; remorseful, almost. “I just want you to be happy, alright? That’s all I want.”

El stayed still, her hand covering her mouth as she quietly cried. She was too upset to say anything, so she just stood there until she heard Hopper’s heavy footsteps back away from the door and head towards his bedroom. 

She stayed in place even after his door slammed, like she was too stunned to move. Instead of collapsing onto her bed like she’d intended to, El found herself sinking down to the floor. She rested her forehead against her knees, her shoulders shaking as she tried to suppress her sobs. 

All she could see in her mind was Mike’s face; how reverent his gaze was as he leaned in, like he wanted to memorize her. 

If she allowed herself just a split second more, she would’ve been folded all the way into the depths of him, unable to come back to the surface. Maybe that was ultimately why she pulled away; she was terrified of allowing something that already felt so out of control to unravel completely, to undo whatever facade was left.

But now she couldn’t take that back, and that’s what hurt so badly as she sat there, helplessly replaying the moment in her mind. She made him think that his actions weren’t what she wanted, and now she didn’t know how to fix that — how to keep him close without hurting him any further.

Maybe there was no way to fix it.

When her crying had subsided to a string of stuttered breaths, she lifted her head, unwinding herself from her spot on the floor. She rose to her feet, careful not to make any noise. It was silent on the other side of the wall, meaning Hopper was probably still awake. 

Though she should’ve been even more exhausted than before, she noticed as she stood up that she felt alert, like her senses had suddenly been drawn into sharp focus. Her heartbeat drummed loudly in her ears, and she clutched a hand across her chest, confused at the sudden onset of nerves. 

Closing her eyes for a moment, she tried to practice what Hopper had taught her to do when she felt like this: focus in on the pace of her breath, the rise and fall of it. 

Her back was stiff from being curled up on the floor, so she stretched her arms over her head briefly — and when she dropped them, a loud thud from the corner of her room made her jump. She opened her eyes, twisting around to see that one of the books stacked on top of her dresser had fallen to the floor, landing splayed open on its spine.

El stared at it, confused as she tried to register what she was feeling right that second: a familiar, undeniable surge of energy tingling through her arms, all the way down to her fingertips.

A series of quick of knocks came from the wall behind her bed, and the abrupt sound stunned her so much that she almost fell over. 

“El?” Hopper called, his muffled voice sounding groggy, “Everything okay?”

El looked at the book again. She knew it hadn’t been resting in a precarious position, and the room was completely still, so there was no force that could’ve somehow jostled it enough to make it fall. She brought her hands together in front of her, noticing that there was a distinct warmth in her palms, one she always got after… she used her powers. 

_ Holy shit. _

“Y-yeah, I’m fine,” she managed to reply to Hopper, “I just dropped something.” 

He didn’t respond, and El heard his bed springs creak as he shifted. She was frozen in place, her heartbeat still erratic as she stared down at the book.

But, just as quickly as that flash of energy had moved through her, it dissipated. Within a minute or so the sparks coursing in her veins were gone, and the sense of alertness was replaced with the heavy exhaustion she’d felt when they pulled up to the cabin. 

She tiptoed to her bed, still in numb shock as she changed into her pajamas. Her eyes remained on the spot where the book was resting as she slid under the comforter, slowly laying back.

What the _ hell _ just happened?

She hadn’t even been thinking about her powers at all — in fact, she’d intended to skip her nightly routine of trying to get them back entirely. But it was as though a subconscious muscle had flexed, like an involuntary twitch during sleep; a split-second movement that she didn’t see coming. It had to have been her powers. There was no mistaking that vibration-like energy, the way it swept through her in one distinct moment.

She sat up, her gaze again landing on the book across the room. Without thinking, she lifted both arms and stretched them towards it, her vision tunnelling as she focused hard. 

_ Three, two, one, _ she chanted in her head, _ Three, two… _

But without even a hint of that same feeling from before, it was a losing battle. She gave up after a few attempts, flopping back onto her bed with a heavy sigh.

Hopper had started snoring in the next room, and she tried to zero in on the sound of it as she closed her eyes, willing sleep to come as quickly as possible.

After more than half a year of trying and failing, of feeling hollow… _ something _had happened. She had no idea why, or what caused it, but it had been there, she was sure of it — there was no way that book just fell from the dresser on its own. 

El didn’t feel the way she imagined she would during all those nights she spent disappointed, wishing she could summon just a small shred of her abilities. She wasn’t excited, or even necessarily happy. 

Instead, more than anything, she felt scared — and not just because the feeling had come out of nowhere. 

She was scared because she had no way of knowing whether it would come back.

* * *

“....and I came here to apologize, because I didn’t really respect - you know, what I said I would, which was… _ ugh _no, that’s so lame.”

Mike paced back and forth across his bedroom, digging further into the groove he was steadily wearing into the carpet. He’d spent the past hour working up the courage to leave for Benny’s, practicing over and over what he was going to say to El once he got there.

He _ had _to apologize. 

To call the 48 hours since the blunder at the quarry agonizing was an understatement; Mike had been nothing but an anxious mess, convinced he’d screwed everything up as he relentlessly played the whole night out in his head.

Hence why he had to apologize — or at least try to. Although he was worried he’d ruined his chance at even being friends with El, he at least owed her a thought-out apology, or some kind of explanation. 

But that’s where he kept getting stuck. How could he explain the dizzying way his instincts had taken over and convinced him that trying to kiss her was the most logical thing in the world, even when he should’ve known better?

Any explanation just sounded stupid, or downright embarassing. 

But he had to try, otherwise he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself for disrespecting her boundaries like that. At the very least, he hoped to get across that he was still someone El could trust; someone that kept their promises, even if he’d let that slip for a few inexplicable moments.

Beneath all of that, the other aspect complicating things was the image of El’s face that he couldn’t get out of his mind. It was the way her deep brown eyes had searched his face so intently, the way they drifted closed when he leaned in. That, coupled with the words Mike had also been replaying — _ “There are good reasons… I promise” _— made things even more confusing.

Because despite the fact that she’d pulled away, a part of him sensed that she did it to hold herself back, as though she had to keep some arbitrary boundary up. Though that didn’t exactly make sense to Mike, the way she looked after — like she’d snapped out of a trance — and her vague words alluded that there was more to it than her just wanting to stay friends. 

Still, Mike didn’t want to let himself get too caught up in that idea; no matter what, the right thing to do was apologize, and if she still wanted him around after that, well… he’d just have to find out. And a quick look at his watch told him that would have to be sooner rather than later — it was almost 11. 

He glanced around his messy room, evidence of how distracted he’d been over the past day or so. Staying here any longer and trying to practice an apology was useless — he had to go, before he lost his chance entirely. 

After stuffing a few things into his backpack, he pulled on his jean jacket and began to tiptoe down the hallway. His parents had been fighting earlier that night, but they’d quieted down about an hour ago, so Mike wasn’t too worried as he headed down the stairs. 

He was at the front door, his hand about to turn the knob, when a voice called out.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

Startled, Mike leapt back from the door. He turned to see his mom coming toward him from the sitting room, dressed in a long green robe and slippers. Mike noticed that one of the side lamps was on, meaning she must’ve been sitting in the one loveseat that gave a full view of the foyer. 

“Um - uh, just…” Mike said, scrambling for an excuse, “Lucas needs help with a calculus assignment that’s due in first period.”

One look told him his mom didn’t buy it. “Oh, is that so?” she replied, pulling her robe tighter around her, “And you think it’s okay to just walk out the door at this hour and not tell anyone?” 

Mike scoffed. “As if you and dad would even care.”

His mom’s eyes widened; the words had slipped out far too easily, and Mike knew they were uncharacteristically rude. 

“Excuse me?”

He cleared his throat. “I mean, it’s not like… you guys never really ask where I’m going, anyway.”

“That’s because we know you’re responsible,” his mom said, looking at him sternly. “But don’t think I haven’t noticed you coming home late recently — on school nights, no less.”

Mike was surprised. Neither of his parents had hinted that they knew anything about him sneaking in or out on the nights he went to see El. It annoyed him that his mom was bringing it up now, the one time he _ really _needed her not to get in the way.

“So why haven’t you said anything about it?” he asked.

He could tell his mom was taken aback by his attitude. Apart from the few words they exchanged during dinner or small talk after school, the two of them didn’t talk much to begin with, let alone did Mike ever challenge her, or even act like a typical teenager.

“That’s not the point, Michael, it’s not appropriate that -”

“No,” Mike cut her off, feeling his simmering anger begin to reach a boiling point, “You haven’t said anything because you’re too busy fighting with dad all the time.”

Her shock was prevalent now, but Mike couldn’t stop; everything he’d been suppressing towards his parents came bursting out. “So don’t suddenly act like you give a shit where I’m going or what I’m doing, because neither of you know -”

“Michael!” his mom hissed, “Keep your voice down.”

“Just like you and dad do?”

His words clearly stung, and he meant them to. His mom’s eyes brimmed with tears, and he knew he’d really made her angry now. He noticed that her hair, which was normally always styled, was disheveled, tendrils falling out of her low ponytail. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, how dare you -”

But Mike wasn’t listening — he opened the door and headed outside. 

“Holly and I can hear you two arguing all the time, by the way,” he called over his shoulder, undeterred as his mom followed him. 

“Michael!” she called, half whispering, “Come back here right now!” 

But Mike knew her well enough to know that she wasn’t going to make a scene, too afraid of what the neighbours would think if they heard. Not bothering to turn back, he flung the door to the station wagon open, and within seconds he was reversing down the driveway. 

Before pulling away he glanced up to see his mom standing on the porch, her arms crossed over her chest, furious. He looked away before he could lose his nerve, and soon the house was out of sight as he turned out of the cul-de-sac. 

A newfound rush of adrenaline fuelling him, Mike sped through his usual route to the diner. He didn’t let himself think about what had just happened, or what the consequences might be. 

All that mattered right then was getting to El. 

* * *

“...so maybe you coming here isn’t a good idea, because - my life is kind of difficult right now, and I don’t want to… _ ugh _no,” El muttered.

In her handful of moments alone in the back area during her shift so far, she’d been practicing the lines she’d written in her journal the previous night — the ones telling Mike, in what would hopefully be the least painful way, that he shouldn’t come to Benny’s anymore. 

It was the exact opposite of what she wanted to say, of course, but in the two sleepless nights since the arcade, it was the bitter conclusion she’d come to again and again. 

Since that first night Mike walked into the diner, El wanted so badly to believe that Hopper was wrong, that she could still be close to him, despite her circumstances. But she understood now that it didn’t matter — she couldn’t give Mike what he deserved: the truth, let alone the ability to really know her. 

That faint voice in the back of her mind that kept saying it wasn’t fair was right: he deserved more than three evenings a week with someone who wouldn’t let him in all the way.

El bit her lip to keep tears at bay; there’d already been way too much crying over the past couple of days, and she had to hold it back if she was going to be able to tell Mike what she needed to tell him. 

Almost as if on cue, she heard the front door bell chime, and she looked up at the clock to see that it was past 10:30. It had to be him.

Still, she stayed in place, her nerves taking over as she heard Benny cross the kitchen and head for the front. From her spot in the storage area she couldn’t see what was going on, but she heard him call out a greeting as the kitchen door briefly swung open, followed by the sound of a voice calling back to him.

Mike’s voice.

As much as she wanted to get it over with, part of her hoped that maybe he wouldn’t come in and spare her from having to do this, at least for one more night — but of course it wouldn’t happen that way. Ever since that fateful second visit, Mike had shown up at pretty much the exact same time for each of her shifts; a reliable bright light in the quiet darkness of her life.

She was going to miss it so much.

In her peripheral vision, El saw that Benny had appeared just then in the storage space’s narrow entryway. She turned to face him, smiling weakly.

“Your favourite customer is here,” he said, returning the smile as he wiped his hands on his apron. “Wanna go out there? I can take over whatever you’re working on in here.”

El just stared at him, his question not computing for some reason. She was flushed with panic, the words she’d been rehearsing all night suddenly becoming a jumbled mess in her brain. _ I’m not ready, _ she thought frantically, _ I can’t do it. _

“Uh - no, that’s… I’m kind of, um - in a good rhythm,” she said, her voice shaky, “Would you mind serving him?”El noted the confusion on Benny’s face. In the month or so that Mike had been coming to the diner, Benny hadn’t once served him, so she knew it probably seemed suspicious. But she couldn’t go out there yet; she needed time to quell the anxiety that was suddenly gripping its way around her throat.

To her relief, Benny just shrugged. “Sure, kid. No problem.”

* * *

Nearly an hour later, El remained in the same spot, rearranging the supply shelf for a third time. 

Benny came back once to check on her, but she still hadn’t been able to find the courage to go out and talk to Mike. It was like the longer she stayed in that dingy little storage alcove, the harder it became to imagine leaving it and facing what she had to face.

As soon as she went out to the front, everything would change — or rather, it would go back to the way it was before: dim and quiet, with nothing to look forward to before each shift, no conversations with Mike to reflect on and soothe her when she woke from a nightmare. She wondered for a fleeting moment what would happen if she just never left the storage area at all. Maybe time would cease to exist entirely, and everything that had led up to this moment would be erased.

El sighed, dropping her hands to rest on her hips. “Enough is enough,” she murmured to herself. Dragging it out was only making it worse.

She turned around to find Benny coming towards her again, a cautious look on his face. 

He was visibly uncomfortable. “Hey, um… look, I don’t want to intervene or anything, but that kid keeps asking about you, and I’m not sure if…” 

He trailed off, looking at El expectantly. She shook her head, a wash of embarrassment coming over her. “Right, sorry - I got caught up back here,” she said quickly, “I’ll go out there now.”

Benny breathed what seemed to be a sigh of relief. “I think that’s a good call,” he replied, “The poor guy looks heartbroken every time it’s just me coming through the door.” 

_ Great, _ El thought, _ And I’m only going to make it worse_.

She managed to smile at Benny, and then before she knew it, her feet were carrying her forward, away from the shelter of the storage area and toward the front, where Mike was waiting.

She was through the door and at the counter before she found the courage to look up, and when she did, her throat constricted even tighter. 

At the sight of her, Mike scrambled to his feet, like her presence had jolted him into action. He stared at her in shock, his jaw dropping a little, as though a million words were running through his mind and he couldn’t decide on which ones to use. His hands balled into fists at his sides, but a second later he shoved them into the pockets of his navy hoodie and began to rock back and forth on his feet.

There were no other customers in the place; it was just the two of them, standing a few feet apart.

“H-hi, El,” he said. He swallowed hard, like the words had nearly winded him.

El could feel tears rising up again, and she hadn’t even spoken yet. “Hi,” she muttered.

“I, um - I know it’s probably weird that I’m here, I promise it’s not because… I just, I _ really _wanted a chance to - you know, after Saturday and everything, I thought I owed -”

“Mike,” El began gently. If she let him go on, she might not be able to do what she had to do. “You don’t owe me anything. You really didn’t do anything wrong, okay? But I think that -”

“No I _ did_, that’s the thing,” Mike interrupted, his voice rising a little. He looked at her nervously, squeezing his eyes shut for a second before he continued. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to cut you off, I just… would you please hear me out?”

_ This is going to be impossible_, El thought helplessly, pursing her lips as she looked at him. She gave a quick nod, knowing she couldn’t say no.

Mike sighed. “I know I said it at the time, but I owe you a proper apology, about… about the quarry, and everything.” His cheeks flushed red, and El could see him cringe a little at the mention of their almost-kiss. “I wasn’t thinking for a second, and I forgot that… I totally wasn’t respectful of you, and that was _ so _ wrong of me, and I’m just - I’m _ really _ sorry.”

“Mike, it’s not -”

“And I know it probably doesn’t seem like it, but you _ can _ trust me, El, I promise,” Mike continued, rushing to get the words out before she could stop him. “I didn’t invite you there because I wanted to do something like that. I meant it when I said it would just be a friend thing, I really did, and I swear from now on I’ll respect that, because I… I hope you still want to be my friend.”

His whole body seemed to exhale when he finished, and El realized that he probably practiced the whole thing, which only made her feel more awful. No matter what she said, she knew he was going to beat himself up even more for everything, and she hated to be the cause of that. 

But he was brave enough to be honest with her, and she owed him the same.

“Thank you for saying that, Mike,” she began, looking at him with as gentle a gaze as she could. “But it’s okay, really - I know you’re trustworthy and respectful and everything, I do.”

His relieved look only made the pain of it sharper. “And it’s not that I don’t want to be friends,” she continued, “It’s just that my life right now is kind of difficult, or complicated, I guess, and I think… I’m not sure being friends is going to work.”

The worry edged back into Mike’s eyes then, and he opened and closed his mouth a few times as he searched for words. “I mean, um - complicated stuff is okay,” he said, “My life is like that right now too. We kind of talked about it already, actually…” 

_ He’s not getting it_, El thought desperately. “It’s a different kind of complicated,” she went on, “And I… don’t think it’s a good idea for you to come here anymore.”

Her words laid heavily in the air between them. For a moment it looked like Mike didn’t understand, but El watched in agony as the reality of what she said dawned on him slowly, until he looked… hurt. 

Completely, unequivocally, _ hurt_.

“El…” he began, his voice low and pleading, “Are you - does this - I know what happened probably made you uncomfortable, but I thought everything before that -”

El shook her head. “It has nothing to do with Saturday, Mike, I promise.” She struggled with how to go on, having not prepared for this part. “It has to do with the way things are for me - and I know that makes no sense, but I can’t exactly explain why. It’s not that I don’t want you to come here, it’s just that I think… I think maybe it’ll make it more difficult.”

She knew just by looking at him that it didn’t make sense at all, but nevertheless he seemed defeated then. His shoulders sagged, his hands twisting further into his sweater pockets as his eyes flicked down, like he couldn’t bear to look at her anymore.

El knotted her fingers into the front of her apron, her knuckles turning white as she tried to focus on something, _ anything_, so she wouldn’t cry. This was way worse than she’d anticipated; seeing how hurt Mike was made her feel like the most horrible person imaginable. She tried to concentrate on the fact that this was for the best — that she’d only hurt him even more if she let things go on the way they were. 

He cleared his throat then and she looked up, watching as he nodded his head slowly. “Well, I guess… I guess I wouldn’t want to make your life any more difficult.”

He still sounded sad, but there was something else in his voice — something that sounded similar to when he’d told her about Troy’s bullying during their drive back from the arcade. It was bitterness. Resignation.

He reached for his jacket, and though there technically wasn’t a reason for him to stay any longer, El began to panic at the prospect of him leaving. She flashed back to that first night, when he’d been walking away and an unknown force caused her to blurt out her shift hours. 

The only thought in her head then was that she couldn’t stand the idea of never seeing him again — and now she’d made that fear a reality.

“Mike…” she said, barely above a whisper, “I’m sorry.”

He frowned at her, his dark eyes still sad, distant. “There’s nothing to be sorry about.”

“I know, I just…”

But the useless words faded away, and then Mike was pulling his backpack on and stepping back from the counter.

He didn’t look at her when he spoke. “Good luck with everything, El.”

She couldn’t reply, because everything that came to her was some variation of _ Don’t go_, or, _ I didn’t mean it _ — and she couldn’t put him through that now. Instead, she settled for a meager wave, and after glancing at her one last time, Mike headed for the door. Unlike all the other times he left the diner, El couldn’t stand to watch him go. 

Just before he slipped out into the dark night, she turned away.

* * *

Mike crossed the parking lot toward his car, feeling like he was moving through water. Everything was numb, his surroundings distant and faded.

El didn’t want him as a friend — she didn’t even want him around, in any way. 

He felt so stupid for thinking some lame apology would work. He’d clearly already sealed his fate when he screwed up at the quarry, and now he’d lost El, and whatever hope or potential there was for something more. 

Now there was nothing at all.

Mike couldn’t remember the last time he’d really cried, so he was surprised when he felt tears stinging the edges of his vision. He had to get to his car, _ now _. He swung his backpack down onto the ground and bent to search for his keys, his still-shaking hands causing him to fumble with the zipper. 

_ I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to come here anymore. _

When he finally found them and stood back up, he noticed with alarm that someone was coming toward him, _ fast_. Confused, he squinted, realizing that there were actually two people; two tall, burly looking men dressed in dark clothing, advancing on him.

“What the -”

But before he could register what was happening one of the men reached him, delivering a hard punch to his stomach that had Mike doubling over and stumbling backward.

“_Ow_, Jesus, what’s -” he sputtered, wrapping his arms around himself protectively. 

Mike whipped around to see that the second man had sidled up behind him, and a split second later he felt a set of arms hook around both of his elbows, yanking them back behind him in a painful lock. 

He struggled, but it was no use; whoever it was had more than a foot on him in height, and at least double the weight, judging by the strength of his grip.

“Let me go!” Mike shouted, but the words had barely left his mouth before a fist connected with the side of his face, clipping him hard right above the eye.

The pain seared like a flash of lightning and Mike gasped, his brain scrambling in fear. It hurt to open his eyes but he did, blinking rapidly as the man who’d delivered the punch leaned down close toward him.

“What do you know about her?” he grunted, his voice gruff and menacing.

_ What!? _

Mike felt his arms being yanked tighter and he yelped in pain, his back straining against the hold he was still clutched in. 

“W-who? I don’t know what you’re talking about, I -”

But it was no use; it clearly wasn’t the answer the man was looking for, and a second later Mike’s breath was knocked out of him as another hard punch hit him just below the chest.

He heaved and gasped, slouching forward as the man grabbed his face, forcing him upright.

“Subject Eleven,” he demanded, forcing Mike to look into his eyes, “What do you know about her?!”

Mike’s vision blurred, and he could hardly understand the words being spat at him, let alone force his panicked brain to think of a response. But he could see the man’s fist drawing back again, and he was desperate to stop it.

“I - I don’t know who -”

“Hey!”

The voice rang out from somewhere in the darkness, saving Mike from another blow. “What the hell’s going on out here!?”

The man in front of Mike twisted around, and he followed his gaze to see Benny standing next to a nearby dumpster, clutching a garbage bag in his hands. 

“Let him go!” he shouted, “I’m calling the police!”

In a split second the grip on Mike’s arms released, and he collapsed hard onto the pavement, hurried footsteps thundering the ground as the two men ran away. He rolled onto his side and watched as they piled into a car a few feet away, tires screeching as they sped out of the parking lot.

And then someone was pulling him up, and he groaned as he got back onto his feet and the full extent of his injuries set in.

Benny was in front of him, gently shaking his shoulders. “Hey, hey - you okay? Talk to me.”

“I - I’m, I’m good,” Mike managed.

His vision slowly returned to normal, and he glanced over Benny’s shoulder to see that the diner’s side door was open and someone was peering out of it, hands gripping the doorframe.

_ El_.

But his attention was wrenched away when he heard the roar of an engine pierce through the darkness. Both Mike and Benny turned to see a Hawkins P.D. vehicle rumbling toward them — it was a Chevy Blazer, which Mike knew only the Chief drove.

He pulled up close to where they were standing, the headlights making the throb in Mike’s head intensify. Benny let go of his shoulders and gestured at the car, like he was beckoning the Chief to come out.

Moments later he was walking up to them, and through his pain-riddled mind, Mike was reminded of what an intimidating figure Chief Hopper was; all tall and brooding, with a perpetually unruly beard and a notoriously mean scowl. 

“Everything okay here?” he asked, nodding in Benny’s direction.

“I’m not sure, Jim,” Benny replied, motioning to Mike. “I came outside to take the trash out and there were two guys on him, beating him up.”

The Chief looked confused, and he came a little closer to them, leaning down to take a look at Mike’s face. 

Mike glanced at him nervously, remembering for a fleeting moment the one and only time they’d had a real encounter: when him and the Party wanted to use the radio equipment at school one night, and he busted them as they were trying to get inside. He’d let them off with a warning, which Max said was probably because they’d been there for “stupid nerdy reasons”. 

“Mike Wheeler, right?” 

Mike nodded, wincing as it sent another jolt of pain to his head. “Yeah,” he replied weakly.

“What happened?” 

Mike took a breath, trying to sort out the mess of words that came to him. “I was walking to my car, and these two guys came out of nowhere and grabbed me - or, well, one of them did, and the other one punched me.” He rested a hand below his sternum, which was sore to the touch. “And he asked if… he said: ‘What do you know about her?’”

He met the Chief’s eyes then, surprised to find a distinct wave of recognition pass through them, like he knew something about what that meant. His gaze flicked away for a moment, and Mike saw that it was because El had approached them. She wasn’t wearing a jacket and she shivered in the wind, her arms hugged tightly across her chest. 

It was such an odd, surreal scene: just moments ago Mike had been on the verge of tears thinking about how he’d lost her, and now she was in front of him again, staring nervously at the cut above his eye.

“What happened after that?” the Chief asked, jolting Mike back into the moment.

“Oh, um, I said I didn’t know what they were talking about, so then the guy punched me again, and then he said something about ‘subject eleven’. I mean, I think so - I don’t know, it was… hard to focus.”

Mike expected a scoff or maybe another question, but to his surprise, the Chief turned away from him and looked right at El. It was only a split second, but some kind acknowledgment passed between them, and Mike was taken aback at the unmistakable fear in El’s eyes. 

He was beyond confused, but his mind was still too foggy to comprehend what was happening, so he just looked helplessly back and forth between the two of them for what felt like a long time.

The Chief spoke up finally, extending a hand towards Benny. “I got it from here. Thanks, Benny.” 

“No problem,” Benny replied as they shook hands.

“Yeah, um, thank you,” Mike cut in, “For stopping them.”

Benny clapped a hand on his shoulder briefly before heading back inside.

That left Mike standing between El and the Chief, the pain in his head now radiating down his spine.

“What’s, um - is there…” Mike attempted as the two of them just stared at each other, like they were having a silent conversation. A beat passed and then the Chief looked down at Mike with an unreadable expression. 

“Look, Mike, we’re going to have to explain a few things. But right now…” he said, trailing off as he gestured to the Blazer, “You have to come with us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like if this chapter was a YouTube video, it would have one of those clickbait titles with something like, “WATCH TILL THE END!!!”. Did any of you see this coming? Are you sitting there wondering what the hell I’m putting you through and why? What do you think is going to happen next?
> 
> I should say that from now on, there will be a bit more time between updates. I had everything up until now written before I posted this story, so now I’m caught up and writing as I go, which may take a little longer - I’m aiming for 2 weeks at the most, but sometimes it could be more. I do have a good portion of the next chapter written, but my holidays have been packed with family & friend stuff, so I haven’t had as much time to write as I anticipated. But it shouldn’t be too long, especially because the next chapter has some stuff that I think you’ve all been waiting for… :) (Also, not to be a stereotypical fic writer, but comments really do motivate me!).
> 
> As this is my last update in 2019, I want to wish all of you a wonderful new year. I hope 2020 brings light to the places you need it most. All my love until next time!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You all remember the little signal Mike made up for them before the arcade, right? The ‘tap me on the arm if you’re nervous’ thing? Yeah? Okay cool, just checking.
> 
> *Content note for descriptions of anxiety/a panic attack

It was dark in the back of the Blazer, but Mike’s eyes were clear to El, deep and fearful and glued to hers. She couldn’t really focus on anything else, anyway — Hopper insisted that they both stay crouched below the windows, since he wasn’t sure if anyone was following them, or whether there was any immediate danger at hand. 

So that was how the drive home from Benny’s went; Mike and El huddled across from each other in the backseat, their gazes locked as the Blazer rumbled towards the cabin.

El thought Mike would be bursting with questions, but he seemed stunned into silence. Hopper’s rush of words — _ “There are some bad people after El” _ — when they’d first pulled away from the diner seemed to be holding him off.

They whipped past the street lights, the faint glow briefly illuminating Mike’s face and revealing the black eye that was starting to form alongside a painful looking cut. The details were still blurry to El, but all she could grasp was that Mike had been hurt because of her — a strange twist considering what had happened just before he left Benny’s. If she was confused and blindsided, she couldn’t imagine how Mike felt. 

He looked far more uncomfortable than she did curled up his seat, his long limbs twisted awkwardly as he tried to stay below window level. El wasn’t sure if he could make out her expression in the dark, but she tried to offer some kind of reassurance with it.

To her surprise, Mike’s features shifted then from scared to something more like determined, and a moment later El felt his fingers brush hers. She looked down at the space between them and saw that his hand was stretched toward hers, his palm upturned in an offering. She glanced up at him, his eyes gentle and pleading as he waited to see if she would take it. 

It was like he could sense how much she needed comfort and it made her heart ache, how he was able to forget about his own fear for her sake, even though he also must’ve been terrified. Without pausing to think, El folded her hand into his, letting their fingers interlace tightly. 

For a few seconds she just stared, unable to believe the circumstances under which they were finally doing something as simple as holding hands. When she met Mike’s gaze again, he gave her a small, almost imperceptible nod, as if to reassure her that things were okay. 

Hopper turned the Blazer then, the sudden jostling letting El know that they were on the final stretch of dirt road before the cabin. She sat up when they finally came to a stop, her body stiff from crouching.

Mike did the same, craning his neck towards the cabin as he squinted in the darkness. He looked at El. “You… do you live here? I mean, with -”

But he was cut off when Hopper twisted around abruptly to face them. “Questions later, kid,” he spat. El saw him glance at their joined hands and she instantly let go, giving Mike an apologetic look.

Hopper got out of the car, El and Mike trailing behind as they made their way up the porch steps. When they got inside Hopper turned to them, his brow set in a stern grimace. 

“Why don’t you help Mike get patched up,” he said to El, gesturing toward the bathroom. “I have to make some calls.” 

El just looked at him for a moment, the words not fully registering. She’d expected to have the chance to talk to Hopper first, and the prospect of being alone with Mike right then made her nervous. But Hop just raised an eyebrow expectantly, and she knew now wasn’t the time to protest. She stepped toward the bathroom, motioning for Mike to follow her. 

El went in first, Mike gently shutting the door behind them. It was a small space, with hardly enough room for the toilet, standing shower, and old, cracked sink — let alone two people. El was instantly aware of this as Mike sidled up next to her, hovering close while she pulled the first aid kit and a clean washcloth from under the sink. 

When she turned to look up at him she almost gasped, finally able to see his face clearly in the pale yellow lighting. It wasn’t terribly gory, but for some reason the sight of it made El realize in a sickening rush what had really happened.

He must’ve noticed her shock, because he gave a hollow laugh. “That bad?”

El shook her head, forcing herself to suppress the rise of anxiety. “It’s fine,” she told him, “We’ll get it cleaned up.”

She opened the first aid kit and unwrapped an iodine wipe, reaching for the cut on Mike’s brow bone and gently dabbing at it. He winced a little and she stopped, pulling back. 

“Does it hurt?”

He shrugged. “Just stings a bit.”

“I’ll be quick,” El mumbled, resuming her motions. 

She used another wipe on some small cuts on his cheek and then she turned on the sink, wetting the cloth so she could dab away the excess iodine. El felt Mike’s eyes on her and it made her heart pound, her cheeks flushing with heat as she tried to stay focused on the task at hand.

She marveled again at the fact that this was the reason she was finally getting to be so close to him, and she couldn’t ignore the thrill that tingled down her spine because of it, the way it made her hands shake when they brushed against his skin.

When he spoke it nearly startled her. “So I guess, um…” he began, clearing his throat quickly, “This is what you meant by complicated, huh?” 

El couldn’t help but smile, feeling that same rush of appreciation for Mike’s ability to think about her feelings despite the situation. “Yeah,” she said, pulling the cloth away and meeting his eyes. “I meant it when I said it had nothing to do with you. There are dangerous things, Mike, and I’m _ so _ sorry this happened… I - I have to talk to Hopper before I can -”

She trailed off when Mike placed his hand overtop of the one she had resting on the sink. “El,” he said, dipping his head down toward her, “It’s okay, alright? It’s not your fault.”

It didn’t feel that way, but El was too overcome to say anything. His face was even closer now and she studied the cuts, which looked a little less swollen than before. On a whim, she reached up and brushed a finger over the one on his brow bone. “Feel any better?”

Mike seemed taken aback, but he didn’t move. “Y-yeah,” he replied.

El slid her hand down, tracing from his jaw to just below his sternum, the spot she’d seen him resting a hand on earlier. She pressed as gently as she could, feeling the faint thump of his heartbeat just above her fingertips. 

“What about here?”

Mike inhaled sharply. Her touch was having some kind of effect on him, but she couldn’t tell if it was because of the pain or something else. He was looking at her the same way he had been back in the car — like she was all he could ever manage to focus on.

“Um… still a little sore,” he mumbled, his voice sounding hoarse. 

El looked at him for another moment, and then she moved her hand — but before she could withdraw all the way Mike grabbed it, the sudden movement causing her to flinch. He searched her face, a silent question in his eyes, and he must’ve found the answer because a second later he pulled her in, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and hugging her close. 

El froze for a split second, worried that their closeness might be hurting him. But then she heard the sound of his heartbeat against her ear, steady and rhythmic from the spot where her cheek was resting against his chest, and was instantly put at ease. She wrapped her arms around his waist, closing her eyes as she breathed him in. 

She was right all along — being in Mike’s arms felt like home. 

He lifted a hand to cradle the side of her head against him, his fingers raking through her hair in a way that made her sigh. It felt like the first real breath she’d taken in days.

When he spoke the sound of it vibrated against her cheek, his voice nervous but sure. “Whatever it is, El, I won’t give up on you. I promise.” 

She couldn’t reply, tears choking her throat as she held him tighter — she didn’t want to let go but she felt like she had to say something; thank him, at least. She shifted her head back a little, losing whatever words she’d been thinking of the instant she looked into his eyes.

“Mike, I… I’m -”

But before she could finish the bathroom door banged open, the sudden interruption making the two of them jump apart. 

It was Hopper, his hulking figure leaning in the doorway as his eyes darted noticeably back and forth between them.

A few tense seconds passed and then he raised an eyebrow in El’s direction. “All done in here?”

She nodded.

“Good. We need to talk,” Hopper replied, jabbing a thumb over his shoulder, “Outside.”

El left the bathroom without a word, her heartbeat still thrumming relentlessly. 

“I think it would be best if you stayed here tonight,” she heard Hopper say to Mike. “I know it’s a school night, but do you think -”

“It’s fine,” Mike interrupted, “I’ll call my parents now. They won’t mind.”

Hopper seemed satisfied with that answer, and then him and El made their way out onto the porch. It was cold enough that El could see her breath, and she pulled up the hood of her jacket for some extra warmth. 

Hopper took a cigarette out of the pack in his shirt pocket, lighting it as he leaned against a railing. “So I talked to a couple people at the station,” he began. “They said they’ve had some calls about two sketchy characters lurking around downtown in a beat up old car, but that’s it. I don’t know for sure if it’s the same people who got to Mike, but there’s a good chance it is.”

“They had to be from the lab,” El replied, a telltale shudder passing through her at the mention of it. “No one else would refer to me as ‘subject eleven’.”

Hopper’s eyes narrowed down at his cigarette as he took a long drag.

“Why him?” El muttered, more to herself than to Hop. “They obviously knew I was at the diner if they went after Mike like that. Why wouldn’t they just wait and go after me instead?”

Hopper shrugged. “My guess is that they’ve staked it out before, and saw that I’m always there to pick you up. Maybe they figured targeting Mike was a less risky way to scare you.”

“Well, it worked.”

“They’re just a couple of thugs,” Hopper went on, “Doing the groundwork before reporting back to someone.”

A cold realization sunk into El’s chest. “You mean Pa… Brenner?”

Hopper nodded slowly.

El sighed. “I don’t get it. Six months of nothing, and now suddenly they know exactly where I am?”

“I mean, it wouldn’t be far off to assume you wandered somewhere close to Hawkins when you jumped out of that van. They probably just had to wait a while before they could come back here without it seeming suspicious.”

El shook her head, suddenly overcome with anger. They’d taken so many painstaking precautions to build this halfway life for her, and now in an instant it was being threatened, potentially moments away from unravelling completely. She looked up at Hopper. “What are we going to do?”

“I have to think,” he said, tossing his cigarette over the railing. “I’ll have a plan ready by the morning.”

“And what do I tell Mike?”

He sighed heavily. “Ideally it would be nothing, but I guess that’s not realistic.”

“No, Hop. They asked him what he knew about _ ‘her’_,” El replied, making air quotes around the last word. “Who else would he think they were talking about?”

That seemed to frustrate Hopper, and he rubbed a hand through his beard, his eyes downcast. “Look, El, I know you said you can trust him, but sometimes when you like someone… it can mess with your judgment. I don’t -”

El stepped forward and placed a hand on his arm, gently stopping him. He had to know, finally, how she felt about Mike — the very thing she’d tried so hard to keep from him all this time.

“Hop,” she said softly, “I don’t _ like _ him. I mean, I do, but not - it’s, um… more than that.” She bit her lip, watching nervously as Hopper’s eyes widened. “I have to tell him the truth,” she added.

Hopper’s mouth opened and closed a few times, as though every response that came to him immediately felt inadequate. Eventually, to El’s surprise, he raised a hand and placed it on the side of her head, ruffling her hair a little in that familiar, affectionate way.

“You sure about this?” he asked, “About him?”

El nodded, tilting her head so that her cheek rested against his palm.

“Then you tell him the truth.”

Although Hop’s blessing was a relief, El was also instantly scared at the thought of laying everything before Mike; everything about who she really was, or used to be. “How do I - I don’t know how to explain it, or if…” 

But Hopper shook his head, silencing her. “Just tell him in the best way you know how. Besides…” he said, looking over El’s shoulder briefly, “Something tells me that kid’s not going anywhere, no matter what you say.”

El smiled. He was right — Mike had told her that in his own way only moments before.

Hop dropped his hand and stood up from the railing, but before he could head for the door, El stopped him again. There was something else she had to share. “Wait, Hop - one more thing.”

“Yeah?”

“The other night, um… after the arcade,” she began, her heartbeat picking up again. “Remember when you asked if I was okay, and I said I dropped something?”

Hopper frowned, but he nodded slightly, beckoning her to go on.

“I don’t know how, but I think it was… I think my powers came back. Just for a second.”

“Your - what?”

She put her hand on his forearm again in an attempt to stop the panic rising in his eyes. “I don’t know for sure, but… I was feeling upset, and when I stood up to get into bed, a book on my dresser fell over - and nothing else could’ve moved it, because the room was still. And when I saw it, I felt… the same way I used to feel.”

Hopper stared at her for a few seconds before pinching the bridge of his nose, his eyes squeezing shut in concentration. El knew it was his way of calming himself down and she waited, pulling her jacket tighter around her.

When he finally looked at her, his eyes were serious, firm. “This is the first time that’s happened? Since…” 

He didn’t have to finish the sentence for El to know that he meant that night in the lab, the night her powers disappeared and Papa locked her in the dark cell that still haunted her dreams. 

“And you haven’t felt it since that night?” 

She shook her head.

“Alright,” he said, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. “Let me know if it happens again, okay?”

“I will,” she replied. The gnawing guilt over her previous nightly routine roiled up again. Even though El was sure that it wasn’t what had caused her powers to come back in a flash that night, she couldn’t help but feel bad for still keeping that part a secret.

Hopper hugged her into his side, guiding them both toward the front door. “I’m going to make some more calls from my room,” he said, “Give you two some privacy.”

It took El a second to realize that he meant her and Mike, and the nerves from earlier rushed back in. This was exactly what she’d yearned for on all those nights after her shifts: the freedom to let Mike really know her, to not have secrets that forced her to keep her distance. Now that moment had arrived, and even though he’d assured her that he wouldn’t give up, she was scared of what the truth could do, what it could change.

But it didn’t matter — Mike had been hurt, both by her and those who were out to get her. Maybe the truth wouldn’t really fix anything, but at least he would finally know why El had tried to keep her distance all this time.

There was no turning back now.

* * *

“....no, Mom, I _ promise _it’s not because I’m mad at you. It’s already late, and Lucas needs way more help with this assignment than I thought.”

Mike gritted his teeth, squeezing his eyes shut as he waited for his mom to respond and hopefully buy the story that he was staying at Lucas’s for the night. It had been a tearful, difficult phone call so far — she kept apologizing profusely for what happened earlier, saying she felt terrible and that she wanted to talk about it. Though it was somewhat vindicating, Mike knew it also _ really _wasn’t the time to hash out his feelings about his parents’ marriage.

“Are you sure, Michael?” his mom went on, “Because I saw how upset you were, and I just wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight if -”

“_Yes _ Mom, I’m sure,” he interrupted, “Look, we can talk about all of this another time, okay? I’m being rude to Lucas by staying on the phone this long.”

His mom gave a conciliatory sigh, and Mike knew he’d said the right thing — if there was anything Karen Wheeler was a stickler for, it was manners. 

“Okay,” she said gently, “But will you call me in the morning before you go to school?”

“Sure. Goodnight, Mom.”

“Goodnight, Michael. I love you.”

Mike cringed at the way her voice broke a little, guilt twisting in his stomach. “I love you too.”

With a relieved breath he set the receiver down, turning to find El and Hopper standing in the cabin’s doorway. He flushed with embarrassment, unsure of how much they’d heard — but the amused look on Hopper’s face told him they’d at least caught the last part.

“Everything okay?” 

Mike nodded, and then they were both crossing the room toward him. Hopper passed by without saying anything, heading for the bedroom at the far end of the cabin and shutting the door. 

That left him and El, standing a few feet apart in the living room.

Mike smiled at her, and although she tried to smile back, it didn’t quite reach past the nervous look in her eyes. 

She pointed at the couch. “Do you want to sit down?” 

“Yeah, sure,” Mike replied, keeping his voice light even though he could feel the tension increasing, like El was preparing herself to say something difficult.

They sat across from each other, El with her knees tucked up under her. She concentrated hard at the space between them for a moment, and then she looked at Mike, a steely resolve in her eyes.

“So, um… I do live here,” she said, “With Hopper.”

It seemed like an odd way to start whatever conversation she wanted to have, but Mike just nodded, giving her the space to continue.  
  
“He took me in, when he found me after I, um, when I -”

Her brow furrowed and she closed her eyes, clearly struggling to find whatever words she needed. Mike extended a hand toward her and she immediately grabbed it, letting him tug her a bit closer. 

“You don’t have to tell me anything, El. I understand if -”

But she shook her head. “No, it’s okay - I have to. And I want to… I really want to.”

Mike began to stroke his thumb across the top of her hand, waiting as she seemed to be working up the courage to start again.

“Hop took me in,” she repeated, “After I escaped from the lab.”

_ What? _

Mike tried not to let the shock register too much on his face, but he couldn’t help his confusion. “The - uh, what?”

“It’s near the outskirts of Hawkins,” El said, “It’s a big place, I think - I’ve never seen the outside.”

The image slowly began to form in Mike’s mind, and he knew she must be talking about the Department of Energy building, a large facility that was supposedly dedicated to weapons research. The realization sparked a dozen more questions but he just waited as El continued.

“You know how those guys asked what you knew about ‘subject eleven’?”

Mike nodded.

“That’s me,” El said, her voice wavering slightly. “I’m - I was subject eleven.”

From where they were connected Mike could feel that she’d begun to tremble, and he reached for her other hand, clutching it tightly as her eyes began to brim with tears.

And then he listened.

He listened to her describe the room she grew up in; the bare, dimly lit space with a few of her childhood drawings tacked up to the walls. He listened to her explain the tests; the wires attached to her head, the sensory deprivation tank, the hours spent running through exercises over and over until her head seared with pain and her nose was bloody. He listened as she talked about Papa — the man she thought cared for her but was really the one keeping her prisoner, the one who decided when she went into the isolation cell, and for how long.

He held her hands even tighter when she told him about the night her abilities went away, how the sickening demands finally pushed her to her breaking point. And he waited, patiently, as she described the night she escaped; the chemical-soaked cloth and the key ring, the beauty of the night sky, the salvation of Hopper’s porch light.

She told him about the past six months; how her and Hopper had come up with a set of rules to keep her safe, the arrangement at Benny’s a way to make sure El was protected and close by during Hopper’s night shifts. It all clicked into place then, the reasons why she’d kept Mike at a distance at first, or why she always brushed off personal questions in their early conversations. 

Everything else she’d said was shocking and seemingly impossible to process, but that part made so much sense that it was a relief. Mike’s gut feelings were right, and knowing that she’d been holding herself back for reasons beyond either of their control was the one bright spot amidst all the horrors she described.

He could tell she was getting tired, understandably drained from everything she’d just shared. Still, a lingering piece of doubt within him wouldn’t let up, begging to be sated.

“So when you said you didn’t want me to come to the diner anymore…” he began, trailing off when El nodded.

“It was getting too hard to keep things from you, and the more that - the more that I…” 

El blushed, biting her lip as her words faltered. Mike thought he could fill in what was missing; the closer they got, maybe, or the more her feelings for him grew. But he didn’t want to pry, or ask another question; he only wanted her to know that he understood.

He shuffled closer, holding her gaze. “It’s okay, El. You were doing what you had to do.”

“I know, but I hurt you. I hurt you and I couldn’t -”

But Mike shook his head. “It’s over now. And I meant what I said - I won’t give up on you. This doesn’t change anything.”

Her worried expression lifted slightly, and then she was leaning toward him, one of her hands releasing his and tracing up his arm until she was cupping his cheek. Mike’s pulse jumped in his throat as he scrambled to register what was about to happen; El, inches away, her eyes boring into his - 

Just then a door from across the room slammed loudly, causing them both to flinch. Mike whipped around to see Hopper approaching, blankets piled in his arms. He raised an eyebrow, and Mike practically flung himself to the other side of the couch, putting as much distance as possible between him and El. 

For her part, El still seemed to be in a daze, her hand raised slightly in the space where she’d been cupping Mike’s face.

“These are for you,” Hopper said, tossing the blankets onto Mike’s lap. Mike failed to catch them properly and they landed in a mess, nearly submerging him into the depths of the couch.  
  
“I - thanks,” he replied weakly.

El finally turned to look at Hopper, a silent acknowledgment passing between them. 

“I think we should all try to get some sleep,” Hopper said, more to El than Mike.

There was a flurry of movement then, El standing up from the couch and Mike following suit, focusing on spreading out the blankets in order to avoid eye contact with Hopper.

El turned to him just before she reached what Mike assumed was her bedroom door. “Will you be okay out here?” she asked softly.

He nodded, and they shared a lingering look before she went into her room. 

Mike felt Hopper’s eyes on him and he swallowed hard, gathering the courage to look up. He seemed to be scrutinizing Mike closely, as though he was looking for clues, and it dawned on him then that he probably knew El had just told him everything. Regardless, Mike couldn’t think of anything remotely comforting or appropriate to say about it. He shoved his hands into his pockets, his eyes darting back and forth between Hopper and the floor.

“See you in the morning, kid,” Hopper said eventually.

Mike managed a weak smile. “Night.”

And with a final nod, Hopper made the few steps back into the far bedroom, closing the door behind him.

A moment later Mike all but collapsed onto the couch, landing hard enough on his back that it made him wince, reminding him of his still relatively fresh injuries. He closed his eyes, the exhaustion he’d been holding off for the last hour or so finally setting in.

This was, without a doubt, the craziest night of Mike’s entire life. From what happened with his mom, to thinking everything was over with El, to winding up here and learning the real reason why she’d tried to push him away… his mind was being pulled in a million different directions.

But all he could focus on was the image of El, running through the dark woods, with no idea where any kind of safety might be. El, seeing the night sky for the first time after having escaped a life of confinement, a life of being told she was nothing but a test subject. 

Mike never could’ve imagined everything she’d told him, and he struggled to reconcile her past with the El he knew now. How could someone who’d endured so much evil still be so kind, so full of wonder? How could someone who’d been given every reason not to trust others still trust him, still be brave enough to let him see the darkest parts of her life?

While everything she said broke Mike’s heart, as he lay there replaying their conversation, he realized the great solace in the fact that nothing was keeping them apart anymore. 

There was the dangerous unknown of whatever lay ahead — but that didn’t matter as much as the fact that they could face it, together.

* * *

Mike woke with a start to a firm hand on his shoulder, rousing him from sleep.

He bolted upright, sure he was going to be face to face with the same burly figures that had attacked him outside of Benny’s, and he rubbed his eyes frantically, trying to focus.

But he was relieved to see that instead it was Hopper leaning over him, still dressed in his Hawkins P.D. uniform from the night before. 

“Wh-what’s - um, hi,” Mike breathed, still blinking the sleepy haze from his vision. 

Hopper moved to sit on the far arm of the couch, staring at Mike intently. His eyes were rimmed red and dark shadows had formed beneath them, making it clear that he hadn’t slept at all.

“I need you to take El out of Hawkins,” he murmured, his eyes flicking toward her bedroom door, “For at least a night.” 

Mike frowned. “I - what time is it?” It wasn’t the question he’d intended to ask, but he realized with a quick glance out the window over Hopper’s shoulder that it was still dark outside.

“It’s just before 6,” Hopper replied, glancing down at his watch. Mike opened his mouth to say something but was cut off when Hopper leaned forward, a stern glare on his face. “I’ve been checking in with my deputies all night. It seems like those guys who beat you up are still hanging around, and I don’t know if… I’m worried they might make their way -”

“I can do it,” Mike interrupted, nodding quickly, “I’ll get her out of here.” Hopper just looked at him and Mike’s mind whirred, finally landing on a solution. “I’ll go to my sister’s, in Indianapolis,” he said. “Is that far enough?”

“Yeah, that should be fine.” He closed his eyes briefly, rubbing a hand through his beard. “We’ll go to Benny’s and get your car, and then you two can go from there. But we’ve got to do it soon.” 

Mike kicked his blankets off, straightening his clothes out as best he could. He made a move to stand but Hopper stopped him, placing a firm hand on his shoulder. They were much closer now and Mike couldn’t help but gulp nervously as Hopper’s eyes practically burned into his.

“I’m trusting you because she trusts you,” he said, his tone hovering somewhere between stern and threatening. “You need to keep her safe, Mike. She’s all I have.”

Mike’s throat had gone completely dry, and all he could do was nod. 

Hopper dropped his hand and stood from the couch. “I’ll go wake her up.”

“Okay,” Mike said, following suit and standing all the way. “I’ll call my sister now.”

* * *

El couldn’t get past how surreal and odd the scene before her felt; her and Mike crouched in the back of the Blazer, the exact same way they’d been just hours earlier, heading back to the place they’d fled in fear.

She was still struggling to wrap her head around what was happening. Less than an hour ago Hopper had woken her from a fitful sleep and told her that the best plan was for her to get out of Hawkins for a night, until he was sure the people who’d attacked Mike were gone. 

She balked when he said Mike was going to take her and that he was going to stay behind; El had protested, afraid of what might happen to him, but Hopper shut her down immediately, assuring her it was the safest bet.

Then the two of them rushed around the cabin, packing food, clothes, and two of Hopper’s guns, which he’d taught El how to use a few months ago. Mike made some calls, first to Nancy to warn her that he was coming with a friend, and then to his mom, to tell her he’d made an impromptu decision to visit his sister and that he was leaving right after school. El could hear shouting from the other end, but if there were any issues Mike didn’t say so, hanging up a few minutes later and claiming that they were good to go.

Now there they were, curled up under the Blazer’s windows, holding hands so tightly that El’s knuckles went white.

The parking lot at Benny’s was empty, but El’s heart still pounded frantically when they pulled up to it, her mind instantly flooded with visions of the night before. Hopper told them to stay put as he got out to double check that no one was around.

Moments later he was throwing El’s door open, hurrying her out toward Mike’s car. Once Mike unlocked it, Hopper leaned into the passenger side and moved the seat all the way back, beckoning El forward. 

“Just crouch there below the seat, okay?” he said, “And stay down until you’re out of Hawkins.”

He moved over to the Blazer’s trunk and grabbed the two duffle bags they’d packed, but when he came back to Mike’s car, El was still lingering by the open passenger door. She looked up at Hopper as he approached, her mouth going dry as she felt her eyes well up with tears.

“Go on, kid, get in,” he said firmly.

“I - Hop, are you sure you don’t -”

He placed both hands on her shoulders. “I’ll be okay, don’t you worry about me. I have Nancy’s number - I’ll keep you updated on everything, alright?”

El felt a few tears slip down her cheeks, and she pursed her lips to try and hold off. “Love you, Hop,” she whispered.

She thought she could see tears in his eyes too, and he pulled her in quickly, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “Love you too, kid.”

El had barely begun to hug him back before he stepped away, giving a quick salute to Mike, who was standing at the driver’s side door. “Call me when you guys get there,” he said.

“Will do,” Mike replied.

And then Hop was climbing back into the Blazer, leaving El no choice but to turn away. She wanted to watch him drive off but she couldn’t, instead huddling down below the seat like he instructed.

They made their way out of the parking lot, the road evening out as they turned onto the highway.

“You okay down there?” Mike asked, glancing down at her.

El gave him a quick thumbs up. “Yeah, I’m good.”

They both stayed silent as they drove on, and El knew it was because they were both anxiously waiting until they’d cleared the boundary of Hawkins, where things would, according to Hop, be safer. El tried to focus on something else, but she couldn’t get Hopper’s face out of her mind, that weary exhaustion that seemed to take over his whole demeanour as they’d said goodbye.

A little while later Mike looked down at her again, clearing his throat. “I, uh, I think you’re in the clear,” he said, “We passed the ‘Leaving Hawkins’ sign a few minutes ago.”

Though El was still hesitant, her discomfort won over and she crawled up onto the seat, readjusting the lever so it was situated properly. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Mike smile at her. 

She turned to look out the window, watching as the uniform rows of bare birch trees became an indistinguishable blur. She’d never been this far outside of Hawkins, and for some reason she’d expected it to look different.

_ I’ve never been outside of Hawkins at all_, she thought.

And as soon as that thought formed, so did a wave of immediate, visceral panic.

El’s hands and arms began to go numb, as though they’d fallen asleep after being rested on for a while. Her heartbeat sped up to what felt like a hundred times its normal pace, thundering so loudly in her ears that she could barely hear herself breathe. And then that thought itself made her feel like she couldn’t breathe at all and she began to gasp, certain that all the air had suddenly left the car.

“El? Are you - what’s wrong?”

Mike’s voice sounded like it was deep underwater, and El groped for his arm, finding it and clutching it tight enough to bruise.

“C-can’t breathe,” she managed, her whole body beginning to shake involuntarily.

“Oh, I can open the window, just -”

But El shook her head, flicking her door handle a few times as words evaded her. “Stop, stop,” she gasped, “P-pull over.” 

Mike reacted immediately, swerving the car onto the side of the road and slamming it into park. 

El heard the faint sound of him unbuckling his seatbelt, but she was already out the door, her legs carrying her down a short gravel slope until she was at the edge of the woods. She collapsed onto her knees, her hands clenching the dirt below as she heaved for breath.

Within seconds Mike was next to her, and though her senses were overcome with panic, she felt his touch; one hand rubbing her back, and the other gently raking her hair away from her face.

“Breathe, El, that’s it,” he murmured as her heaving subsided into short pants, “Slowly in and out, there you go.”

After what seemed like a long time, the feeling slowly returned to El’s limbs and she sat up on her knees, wiping the dirt from her palms in an attempt to shake the numbness completely.

As the panic ebbed away, her mind shifted into a different gear, and tears began to rush out as she slumped over into Mike’s side. He gathered her up in his arms as she cried.

Part of it was a result of the relief that she could breathe again, and the other part was fuelled by the thought she’d had right before the panic set in — that she was leaving the only small world she’d ever known, including the person who’d given her a home within it.

“Scared,” she managed to choke out, her voice muffled into Mike’s chest, “I’m so scared.” 

“I know,” Mike muttered, tightening his embrace, “I’ll keep you safe, El. I promise.”

Everything drained away eventually, leaving El feeling not better exactly, but depleted, spent. She shifted away from Mike to wipe her face on her jacket sleeve, taking a few deep breaths to try and steady herself.

Mike stood first, helping her up. They both brushed the dirt off their clothes, and then Mike grabbed onto both of El’s hands, squeezing tightly.

“You okay to get going?”

El nodded. She looked up into his kind eyes, feeling more deeply grateful for him than ever before. “Yeah,” she muttered, “Thank you.”

He only smiled, and in her clearer state El nearly swooned at how beautiful it was — how beautiful _ he _was, something she hadn’t stopped thinking about since that very first night he walked into Benny’s.

He began to step toward the car, but before she could think El pulled him back, the force of it making him stumble awkwardly until he was in front of her again. 

“What’s - is everything okay?” he asked, laughing a little. 

The rhythmic sound of it made a familiar warmth flood through El, and a bold determination took hold of her then. She reached a hand up to cup his cheek, the same way she had in the moment before Hopper had interrupted them last night.

“Yeah,” she muttered, “I’m fine, I just…” she trailed off as she absentmindedly began to caress his cheekbone with her thumb, drawing herself closer to him.

The two instances where they’d almost kissed last night had unfolded so naturally that El didn’t really think about it. But now that the moment was _ finally _ presenting itself she was shy, reminded that she really knew nothing about how any of this was supposed to work. Mike’s eyes widened, like he realized what she wanted to do, and he leaned down ever so slightly. 

El remembered something then, acting on it before she could convince herself it was stupid. Gently releasing one of his hands, she reached behind Mike’s elbow and tapped on it a few times, as though she was trying to get his attention.

His brow furrowed, and El watched as the meaning of it dawned on him, his lips twitching up in a knowing smile. 

“Nervous?” he asked, his voice soft, reassuring.

El’s heartbeat felt like it was in her throat and it kept her from saying anything, but it didn’t seem to matter.

“It’s okay,” Mike whispered, leaning down even closer, “We’ll go slow.”

He moved to hold her face in his hands, resting them firmly at the sides of her jaw, his fingers reaching back into her hair and his thumbs caressing her cheeks. El closed her eyes as he kissed her forehead, a soft press that lingered for a few seconds.

He traced his lips down along her temple, where he also left a gentle kiss, and when he made his way to her cheek, El had to wrap her arms around his waist to steady herself. It was the best kind of surrender, letting him take the lead, every nerve in her body alight with anticipation. 

He was pressing kiss after kiss on her cheek, the side of her jaw, and then finally the corner of her mouth before she gave in, unable to wait a second longer for the moment this was all building up to. 

“Mike,” she breathed, “Please.”

She didn’t have time to feel embarrassed about asking because a second later his lips were on hers and El was stretching up towards him, giving in to the feeling she thought she’d only ever dream about.

All the worry about how it was supposed to be or if she was doing it right evaporated completely, and all El could focus on were Mike’s lips moving against hers, gentle and slow, soft and perfect.

She had no idea how long it was before she felt him pull away a little, and despite her desperate need for breath she gripped him tighter, her lips chasing his before he could break the kiss completely. This was the best feeling in the world, and El couldn’t bear to let it go just yet, even as she started to tremble, even as Mike sighed and gasped against her mouth. 

A few more perfect moments passed before El finally forced herself to pull away, resting her forehead against Mike’s as they both caught their breath. 

She couldn’t find any words, any adequate way to tell him how he made her feel; it was everything, infinitely more than when she saw the night sky on her first free night in the world.

“Mike,” she whispered, his name the only word that seemed to make sense to her.

She felt him nod against her. 

“I’m not going anywhere, El,” he whispered back, “I’m right here.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um… so!? The end to the slow burn - may it rest in peace. I’d really love to know what you think about how it all played out: was it worth the wait? Am I forgiven for the angst?
> 
> Next chapter, we get a break from all the angst and fear and sleep deprivation, and dive into the fluffier side of things - which is 100% always and forever my favourite stuff to read and write in fic, so I’m excited and I hope you are too. You’ll notice I’ve updated the character tags to reflect what we’ve got coming up - some Nancy Wheeler & Jonathan Byers in the house! Also, just as an FYI, I haven’t made a final call on the number of chapters yet, but I’m thinking it may be 11 or 12 total (with the last one being an epilogue). I will keep you all posted when that’s decided.
> 
> As always, please feel free to come say hi or gush about Mileven/anything Stranger Things related with me on Tumblr, @maplestreet. See you next time and thank you so much for reading! 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay in updating; I struggled to get this chapter right, but I didn’t want to go any longer between updates, so here it is - enjoy.

“...and I don’t remember if I told you already, but Jonathan is Will’s brother — him and Nancy moved in together this year, which my mom wasn’t exactly thrilled about — but they’ve been dating since junior year, so, um…”

Mike let his words evaporate, unsure if El was even listening — in fact, he wasn’t confident she’d listened to anything he said over the past hour or so. Which was curious, because she’d been pressed up against him the whole time, curled closely into his side so that her head rested on his shoulder.

He’d never given much thought to the station wagon’s bench-style front seat, but now he was endlessly grateful for its ability to allow El to be this close to him while he drove. He failed to remember what driving had even been like before, but it certainly wasn’t this; the dizzying heat of El’s body seeping into his skin, the slow trace of her thumb on the top of his hand. He couldn’t blame her for not listening, honestly — being close like this was the most lulling, comforting feeling, a sensation pleasant enough to drown out the rest of the world. 

She seemed content to sit in silence anyway, and Mike understood that, too; what happened before they got back into the car left a _ lot _ to think about. He couldn’t help but smile to himself, remembering that everything was different now: he was now the Mike that knew what it felt like to kiss El, and that was a version of himself he could _ definitely _get used to. 

As it so often did around her, pure instinct took over the moment El looked up at him, her eyes dark and wanting, and Mike had realized what was happening — that she wanted to finish what had been sparked the night before. Mike didn’t know that much, since he’d only kissed someone once; a clumsy, alcohol-fuelled dare at a party the year before, which had ended in a spilled drink and an endless amount of teasing from his friends. 

But he knew El needed to feel safe, that he had to reverse what happened at the quarry, when he caught her off guard. Instead, he wanted their first kiss to be deliberate, intentional, slow. He wasn’t prepared for the force that took over both of them when it finally happened; an other-worldly connection, a desire so immediate that it seemed to pull all the air from his lungs. And the moment El chased his lips when he started to pull away, he knew she felt it too. 

He was sure he’d never get her voice out of his head, the way she’d said his name — like she was searching for him, like his presence alone was some kind of answer.

It had taken all of his willpower to coax them back toward the car, keenly aware in the back of his mind that Hopper would be waiting anxiously for the call that they’d arrived. Still, despite the fear that had been lingering with Mike since they left the cabin, kissing El had melted something away, dropped a vital barrier. There was an ease in being next to her now, like they were in sync, perfectly attuned to each other’s movements.

It felt like the way things were always supposed to be, and Mike knew that this is what they needed — to be intricately connected in the face of whatever danger lay ahead. 

His thoughts were cut off when El shifted against him, her head snuggling further into the crook of his shoulder. 

“You okay?” he asked, using the hand that wasn’t on the steering wheel to squeeze her knee. 

She nodded, her hand moving to cover his. 

“Let me know if you want to stop soon, for the bathroom, or food or something,” he said, “We’re about an hour away.”

El sighed. “I’m fine right now,” she replied, her voice soft, dreamy almost. She lifted her head, and Mike glanced over quickly to find her smiling at him. “I feel good, actually. Really good.”

“Yeah?” Mike said, breaking out into a grin. “Me too.”

* * *

They arrived at Nancy’s just before 10; she’d warned Mike that her and Jonathan both had to leave for class by 10:30, and he was glad they’d made it in time for her to hand off the keys. He parked the station wagon on the street outside their apartment, part of a row of walk-ups in a plain brick building a few blocks from the school. 

El had been staring intently out the window since they arrived in the city, and she seemed hesitant to move from his side, even as he began to unbuckle his seatbelt. 

“Hey,” he said, moving down so their faces were close. “There’s nothing to worry about. My sister will love you.” The word fell heavily on Mike’s lips, his heartbeat quickening at the mention of it.

El just looked into his eyes, her gaze softening a little. “Okay,” she murmured. Before Mike could respond, she leaned up and pressed a quick kiss to his lips, his gasp disappearing against her mouth.

They smiled at each other shyly, and a moment later they climbed out of the car, Mike grabbing their bags before heading up to the door. He was raising his hand to knock when it flung open, revealing a distressed looking Nancy.

“Mike!” she exclaimed, a distinct relief in her voice. She was dressed in jeans and a large hoodie with her school’s logo emblazoned across the chest, her curly brown hair set up in a high ponytail.

She pulled Mike into a brief hug, releasing him and placing both hands on his shoulders to study his face closely. “You made it,” she breathed.

He normally would’ve teased her for being dramatic, but standing there, Mike felt nothing but grateful. He nodded, and a look passed between them before he turned back to where El was standing. 

“Nancy, this is El,” he said, placing a hand on El’s lower back as she shuffled forward. El smiled weakly, but before anything was said, Nancy came down onto the step and wrapped her up in a hug.

“Nice to meet you, El,” she said when she pulled away.

El was clearly taken aback. “Nice to meet you, too.”

Nancy beckoned them inside, and they all moved into the small foyer. Mike had been to the apartment a couple of times, and a sweeping glance around the small living room told him that Nancy had hastily tidied up in preparation for their arrival. 

His eyes landed on Jonathan, who was seated on one of the tattered grey couches, rifling through a backpack on the coffee table before him. They waved at each other and Jonathan got up, coming to stand next to Nancy. He introduced himself to El, and then took the bags out of Mike’s hands. “I’ll put these in the spare room,” he said, smiling. 

There was an awkward pause, and Mike felt El’s hand brush his elbow. “Could I, um…” she began, looking carefully around the room, “Could I please use the phone?”

“Of course,” Nancy said, gesturing behind her to the small alcove that concealed the kitchen. “It’s just back there, on the wall.”

El stepped forward cautiously. “I’m just going to call home,” she told Mike. He nodded, waiting until she was out of sight to meet Nancy’s eyes.

When he did, he regretted it instantly; a lethal mix of concern and demand coloured her expression, and Mike knew there was no way she’d quit without some kind of explanation, _ right that second_. Journalism had only made Nancy’s true nature — bold, inquisitive, relentless — more prominent, and there was no hiding from her.

“What the _ hell _is going on, Mike? Does mom know you’re here?” she whispered, stepping close to him.

He sighed, using the few seconds to gather up the speech he’d rehearsed in his head back in the car. “Yeah, she does. Look, it’s - I can’t really say much, okay? El, she’s… there’s some trouble with her family. It’s a bad environment, and there’s help coming together, but she had to leave - just for a night, to kind of… let everything settle.” 

It was a disjointed explanation, but he hoped it would suffice — and it seemed to, as Nancy’s hard expression shifted. “Are you in danger too?” she asked nervously.

A rapid succession of images from the diner’s parking lot flashing through Mike’s mind. “No,” he lied, “I don’t think so.” 

Nancy stared for a moment, and though Mike could sense that a part of her was still skeptical, she seemed to let it go. She glanced down, a smile teasing at the corner of her mouth, and when she looked at him again, it was with a different kind of inquisition. “So… are you two dating? Is she your girlfriend?” 

An instant flush of heat rushed to Mike’s face, and he sputtered, understanding why the question would come up but still not expecting it. “I - um, I guess so? I mean, it’s kind of… we obviously _ like _each other, but yeah, it’s -”

He stopped when Nancy giggled to herself, shaking her head at his obvious blunder. “You didn’t have to say anything,” she said, nudging his arm, “It’s obvious.”

“What is?”

“That you’re in lo-”

But she stopped abruptly when Mike’s eyes widened, and he threw her a warning look as El reappeared behind Nancy’s shoulder. 

“Everything okay?” he asked a little too loudly, rushing to dissipate the worry over whether she’d heard or not.

El nodded, and just then Jonathan reappeared from the bedroom, a camera slung around his neck. “We should head out, Nancy,” he said, crossing the room to grab his backpack from the coffee table.

After giving Mike a final teasing look, Nancy began to rush around the apartment, and Mike finally shuffled all the way inside, taking off his shoes and jacket before going over to stand next to El. 

A few minutes later, Nancy and Jonathan were both at the door, Nancy pressing a key into Mike’s palm.

“We’ll be back later this afternoon,” she said, glancing between the two of them. “There’s a restaurant a few blocks away, up on 10th street. They do a pretty good brunch, if you’re hungry.”

“Sounds good,” Mike said, waving goodbye as they both headed out the door.

When it slammed behind them he turned to El, who was looking up at him quizzically.

“What’s brunch?”

* * *

Less than an hour later, El sat across from Mike at a table in a fancy restaurant — well, Mike had assured her it wasn’t actually _ fancy_, but it seemed that way to her. The interior was new and spotless, so unlike the scuffs and signs of wear that were all over the place at Benny’s. 

Plus, there were things on the menu she’d never seen before, which were apparently breakfast items: eggs benedict, yogurt parfaits, bagels with smoked salmon and toppings El couldn’t pronounce. Since Benny’s served breakfast, she thought she knew what variations the meal could consist of, but that wasn’t the case; Mike had already teased her (gently, of course), for not knowing the term ‘brunch’, even though she worked at a restaurant.

But Benny’s, clearly, was different — Hawkins itself, El now realized, was _ really _ different. They’d only seen the few blocks of Nancy’s neighbourhood so far, but El was overwhelmed by the city; the amount of people rushing around, the storefronts with colourful advertisements in the windows, the honking horns and students riding by on bicycles. 

Somewhere beneath the rush of activity, though, was an excitement, a steady pulse that breathed much needed life into El’s exhausted, worn-out state. She felt her shoulders drop as she leaned back in her seat, at ease with the anonymity that came with being in a new place. To everyone else, her and Mike just looked like two teenagers out for breakfast — or _ brunch _ — on a Saturday morning; something so normal yet so very novel, at least for El.

“I have no idea what to get,” she said to Mike as she studied the menu for a third time.

He reached for her hand, curling his fingers into hers. “Whatever you want,” he said, smiling. “It’s my treat.”

“Oh, you don’t -”

But he shook his head, stopping her. “I know it might not count since you were technically _ forced _to come here with me, but… I can’t miss out on the chance to take you on a real date.”

El laughed. “So this is a date?”

Mike’s face turned red, but he held her gaze. “Well, only - only if you want it to -”

“Mike,” El said, squeezing his hand, “I’m just teasing. Of course I do.” She leaned over the table and lowered her voice. “Even though I’m _ technically _not allowed,” she said with a smirk.

Mike looked around, shifting his tone to match hers as he spoke. “I mean, I want to respect Hopper, of _ course_,” he said, “But I’m pretty sure all the rules went to shit when I got my ass kicked in the parking lot at Benny’s.” 

El burst out laughing and Mike followed, the two of them giggling like thieves, both of their hands now intertwined across the table. They only stopped when the waitress appeared, looking annoyed.

“Ready to order?” she demanded, tapping her pen on the pad of paper in her hand.

“Uh, yeah,” Mike replied, reaching for the menu. He gave his order and then it was El’s turn, and she realized she still hadn’t made a decision. She scrambled for the menu, her nerves rising as the waitress waited impatiently.

“Um…” she said, looking helplessly down at the long list of items below her. “I’ll have the waffles,” she blurted, unsure if it was even an option.

The waitress scribbled quickly across the paper. “Maple cinnamon butter on the side?” 

El just stared at her. “Uh… sure.”

“Did you want the strawberry or blueberry compote?” 

El had no idea what that word meant, but she was too embarrassed to ask, and it looked like a question wouldn’t go over well, anyway. “Oh… blueberry, please,” she said, hoping that was the right decision. 

The waitress just nodded, snapping up their menus and hurrying away. 

El looked at Mike, her eyes wide. “What’s a compote?”

Mike smiled for a second, and then El watched it turn into a grin, a giggle bubbling up as he shook his head. “I have _ no _idea.”

He burst into laughter and so did El; and once they got started, it was like they couldn’t stop. Each time one of them died down, all they had to do was catch eyes, and it would surge forth again — an uncontrollable giggling that left them gasping for breath. From the corner of her eye El could see the people around them staring, but it was a distant, faint concern. She couldn’t find it in her to care.

* * *

Even though Mike imagined his first real date with El to be a little more planned, he had to admit it was turning out well, given the circumstances. 

After brunch — during which they both learned that ‘compote’ meant some kind of fruit mixture, one that El luckily enjoyed — they walked the few blocks to downtown, and Mike showed El the little he knew of Indianapolis. He took her to a comic book store, a café that had some live music playing, and a few other shops along the main street that sold everything from clothes to used books. 

Mike loved (there was that word again, landing with a dangerous intensity) how mesmerized El was the whole time. Her soft brown eyes lit up at everything, and Mike didn’t mind lingering in the stores so she could look around, running her fingers over items or turning to look at him curiously when she had a question about something.

It was one of the happiest days Mike had ever had, and yet a sadness was there, nagging in the back of his mind as he watched El take everything in with such reverence, as though it was going to be her only chance. For the first time, the depth of how much she’d been denied in her life became real for him. 

Mike knew Hopper did his best, but there was only so much of the world you could learn about in the little circle he’d kept El in, let alone in Hawkins as a whole. Even just an afternoon like this was so much _ more_, and Mike felt lucky to be the one showing it to her, the one sharing these moments she seemed to be in disbelief over.

When the afternoon light began to slant a little, the sky darkening just so, Mike reluctantly suggested that they head back to Nancy’s. They walked hand in hand while El ate a huge chocolate chip cookie, the exact one that had caught her attention in the window of a bakery next to the comic book store. Mike made a mental note of this, too, for future reference: El had a _ serious _sweet tooth. 

They arrived back at the apartment to find Nancy and Jonathan sprawled across the couch, their backpacks at their feet. Nancy stood when they walked into the foyer, smiling quickly at El before meeting Mike’s eyes with a look that said _ We need to talk_. 

“Hey, El,” Jonathan called out, “Did you want to see some of the photos I got developed today? It’s always good to have a fresh pair of eyes to help decide which ones I should keep.”

Mike knew instantly that it was a setup so that he and Nancy could be on their own, but he tried to seem neutral as El looked up at him cautiously. She seemed satisfied after a moment, dropping his hand and stepping into the living room. “Sure,” she said, sinking down beside Jonathan.

Right away Mike felt a tug on his arm, as Nancy yanked him down the hallway toward the spare room. 

“Geez, Nancy, what’s your -”

But he was silenced when they stumbled into the room, and his eyes landed on the guns Hopper had packed, laid out on the floor by the bed. There was a set of fresh towels folded on the bed, and Mike knew Nancy must’ve seen the guns peeking out of their bag when she’d come in to set up the room.

Nancy shut the door and turned to him. “_Guns_, Mike?”

“I…” 

She came closer, hugging her arms across her body. She’d sounded angry at first, but as she approached, Mike could see the fear in her eyes. “The trouble El’s in… it’s bad, isn’t it?”

Mike faltered. “Nancy, I -”

She held up a hand. “Look, you don’t have to go into specifics. But if it comes down to it, do you even know how to _ use _a gun?”

Mike glanced down; the guns Hopper had given them looked like the same ones he’d always seen in movies — and he’d only ever seen them in movies. He didn’t know the first thing about using one, and that hadn’t seemed like a problem until this very moment.

“I, well…” 

Nancy sighed, and she seemed to be collecting herself, holding back whatever big-sister lecture she was on the verge of giving. When she met his eyes a second later, that characteristic stubborn determination had returned. “Alright. Let’s go.”

“What? Where?” 

“The same place Jonathan taught me to shoot,” she said, stepping around him to put the guns back in their bag.

“Nancy, I don’t know if that’s -”

But she was in front of him again, looking up with a glare so severe it made the words die in his throat. 

“If you’re not going to tell me what’s going on,” she said, “You should at least know how to defend yourself. And protect El.”

* * *

Mike always thought that gym class was where he felt most out of place. But standing in an empty field on the outskirts of Indianapolis with a gun in his hand, a row of cans lined up a few yards in front of him, was _ far _more strange. 

He knew owning and using guns was normal for a lot of people, especially in a rural place like Hawkins, but it wasn’t something Mike ever thought necessary enough to learn. But as soon as Nancy planted the idea that it had to do with protecting El, he was determined, no matter how awkward the gun felt in his hand. 

He stood there, Nancy to his left, Jonathan and El to his right — Mike vaguely remembered her mentioning that she knew how to shoot, but he wasn’t sure. After letting Nancy coax his hands into the proper position he took an even breath, squinting ahead.

“Alright,” she said, “Look at the target, but don’t focus too hard. You don’t want your vision to tunnel.”

Mike tried to follow her instructions, furrowing his brow as he looked at the can in the distance.

“Okay, so when you feel like everything’s steady, you can shoot. Be careful not to -”

But her words were drowned out when Mike pulled the trigger, the loud crack of the gunshot piercing his ears. His arm and shoulder jerked back painfully, like an invisible force had twisted his muscles the wrong way, and he yelped, stumbling backwards.

“_Ow_, shit! Jesus, that was, what the -”

He felt Nancy jab him in the ribs and he cursed again, turning to find her shaking her head in disbelief. “I told you to wait until everything was steady!”

“I thought it was!”

“Well clearly it wasn’t, because who knows where the hell _ that _went.”

Mike was scrambling for a comeback when he heard some faint noise next to him. He whipped around to see Jonathan and El giggling, both of them trying and failing to suppress it.

“It - I didn’t know…” Mike sputtered, his cheeks burning. _ Great_, he thought, _ I’m supposed to keep El safe, and now she probably thinks I’m useless. _

“Don’t sweat it, Mike,” Jonathan offered, “Nancy’s shot was all over the place for a while before she got the hang of it.”

“_Hey_, watch it,” Nancy retorted, narrowing her eyes. She nodded at El, who was holding the other gun at her side. “El, do you want to demonstrate? Maybe that’ll help.”

Mike twisted around to give his sister an incredulous look. “Thanks a _ lot_, Nancy,” he muttered through gritted teeth.

“It’ll be good motivation,” she replied, smiling coyly. 

El walked over to where they were standing, sidling up next to Mike. Nancy came around and stood on her other side, placing a hand on her shoulder.

“Okay, El,” she said, “Show these boys how it’s done.”

El smiled, and Mike could see that she was blushing. She got into position, and then Nancy spent the next couple of minutes talking about form, gesturing to the way El was situated and explaining to Mike how to set up a shot properly. Then she gave El the green light, standing back and motioning for Mike to do the same.

He watched as El’s eyes narrowed, her body completely still. She was perfectly poised and in control — the epitome of _ strong_, a notable determination radiating from where she stood. A rush of desire overtook Mike suddenly, and all he wanted to do was go to her, pull her into his arms, and kiss her until he couldn’t breathe. It definitely wasn’t the appropriate time, but the way she was standing there was just so… attractive. 

The thought ended abruptly when El pulled the trigger, and even though he expected it Mike still flinched, jumping back as he looked to see one of the cans fly off its stand and clatter to the ground.

She’d fired a perfect shot.

When the ringing in his ears subsided Mike heard Jonathan clapping, and Nancy joined, cheering as she patted El on the back.

“Now _ that’s _how it’s done,” she said, beaming.

El shrugged, shyly looking down at the ground. “I’ve had some practice,” she mumbled.

Mike was still staring at her in awe, unable to — and not really wanting to — look away. But he was forced to when Nancy marched back to his side and practically dragged him back to his previous spot.

“Ready to try again?”

Mike sighed. He could feel El’s eyes on him and he tried to seem confident, nodding as he shook his shoulders out a little. “Yeah, I think so.”

When he started to set up he felt Nancy move in close, standing on her tiptoes just behind his ear. “I think her shot is good enough for the both of you,” she whispered, “She’s a badass.”

Mike looked over at El, who was smiling at him in encouragement. 

“I know.”

* * *

El struggled to stay awake on the ride back to Nancy and Jonathan’s place. To say the day had been eventful was an understatement; between the early, turbulent trip to Indianapolis, meeting Nancy, and spending the afternoon in a real city, she was beyond exhausted. 

It didn’t help that Mike’s arms were so warm and comfortable, either. She’d cuddled into his side as soon as they got in the car, and the rhythmic way he was rubbing his hand on her back made her eyes slide shut involuntarily.

He got the hang of using a gun after about an hour out in the field. El slowly took over from Nancy, since Mike seemed to respond better to her gentle instructions. Once he was able to get a good enough grip on the gun to handle the kickback, they worked on honing his accuracy, and by the end, he was able to hit at least one can from its perch. 

His excitement over it was infectious enough that El almost forgot why they were practicing shooting in the first place. 

She hadn’t given it a second thought when Hopper packed the guns for them. He taught her how to shoot within the first month of him taking her in, saying that it was necessary for her to know how to protect herself.

She’d never had to put her skills to the test, but standing in that field, she imagined that one of the men from the lab was advancing on her, and it had given her the wherewithal to hit the right shot. As satisfying as it was, she hoped she’d never actually need to use it.

The sound of cars whizzing past jostled her from her half-sleep, and she opened her eyes to see that they were back in the city. Resting her head back on Mike’s shoulder, she watched the seemingly endless streak of red tail lights drift along in front of them. 

When they got back to the apartment, Nancy insisted that the two of them relax while her and Jonathan prepared dinner. Although El didn’t want to be rude, she was too tired to protest, so her and Mike huddled on the couch, the evening news playing on a small TV in the corner. 

El found herself repeatedly glancing toward the kitchen, where Nancy and Jonathan were moving through what was clearly a typical routine. 

While Nancy tended to something on the stove, Jonathan pulled items from the fridge and cabinets, setting the table and passing Nancy things when she gestured for them. El couldn’t hear their conversation, but it seemed to be routine banter, both of them laughing periodically, or smiling at each other when there was a pause. Once, Jonathan paused to kiss Nancy on the cheek.

It seemed so simple, like a real-life definition of _ home_; the two of them moving in tandem through a space they’d made together. 

Could she ever truly have that sense of normalcy, let alone be at ease with it? Could Mike be the one to create it with her?

The thought gave rise to both excitement and fear. Picturing her and Mike going through the same kind of routine made her happy, but she knew it was way too early to be thinking about that — or at least, she _thought_ it was. What she felt when she looked at Mike, and with the way things seemed to have shifted since they kissed… it didn’t seem so impossible.

She wished their stay wasn’t temporary, wasn’t a last-minute refuge from the lurking danger back in Hawkins. She wished that they could fast forward and be here — in Indianapolis, or maybe some other city — making dinner side by side, laughing and talking about nothing, with all of the bad things far, far behind them.

* * *

Jonathan put on a movie after dinner, but after both El and Mike nodded off for the third time, Nancy gently suggested that it was time for everyone to turn in.

El went to the bathroom to change and brush her teeth, and when she got back to the spare room she found Mike standing at the side of the bed. He’d changed into the pajamas Jonathan lent him — a pair of plaid flannel pants and a faded grey t-shirt — and El noticed that he was rocking back and forth on his feet, like he did when he was nervous.

She put her things back in her bag, and then she went to the other side of the bed, climbing onto it and sitting up on her knees. Mike met her eyes only briefly and she frowned, tilting her head as she looked at him.

“What’s wrong?” 

“Um, I could - I could sleep on the floor, if…” Mike began, his eyes downcast, “Or the couch, I guess that would -”

“What?”

His eyes snapped up in El’s direction. “I - I just thought, if you’re uncomfortable or anything it’s okay, I can -”

“Uncomfortable? Mike…” El shuffled forward until she was kneeling in front of him. She held out her hands and he took them reluctantly, still not meeting her eyes. “I don’t want you to sleep on the floor. Unless… unless you want to?”

Mike raised his eyebrows. “No! No, I don’t want to at all, I just - I don’t think Hopper would want me to… you know.”

El gave an exaggerated glance around the room. “Well,” she said, raising a playful eyebrow, “I don’t see him anywhere.” 

That made Mike laugh, and some of the tension eased out of his shoulders. El waited, watching as he seemed to be deliberating with himself, and then he let go of her hands and reached over to turn off the bedside lamp next to him.

Relieved that her convincing had worked, El crawled back to her side and got under the covers, squinting through the dark to see Mike doing the same. Once they were both under them Mike shifted, turning toward El but still leaving a solid gap between them.

El’s heart surged at how cautious Mike was being, how conscious he was of making sure she was comfortable. She appreciated it beyond measure, but right now she just wanted to be close. So she took matters into her own hands and moved forward until she was right in front of him, snaking a hand around his back to pull him against her.

After a moment he relaxed under her touch, and he reached through the dark to cup her face in his hand, gently pushing her hair out of the way.

“Hi,” El whispered. 

There was a pause, and El thought she could see Mike smiling. “Hi.”

The word had barely left his mouth before El was craning her neck up to kiss him, overcome suddenly with the desire to be as close as possible. Any trace of hesitation was gone when Mike kissed her back, his hand threading further into her hair, his touch firm and confident. 

Somehow everything was more heightened in the dark, the cover of it allowing El to let go of whatever self consciousness may have creeped in before. The heat of Mike’s body against hers made her lightheaded, and their fervent kisses weren’t helping, the intensity so much more prevalent than before.

El wasn’t sure how long it went on for, but it felt like too soon when Mike pulled away, resting his head back on the pillow on his side. An overwhelming _ want _ still coursed through El with a relentless power, but somewhere in the back of her mind she knew that stopping was the right thing. It had been an emotional, confusing twenty-four hours, and letting instinct take over right then probably wasn’t the best idea.  
  
Mike leaned down to press a chaste kiss on her forehead and El caught her breath, closing her eyes as the exhaustion from earlier crept back in. She moved so that her head was resting on Mike’s chest and he shifted onto his back a little, encircling his arms around her as she tuned in to the lulling sound of his heartbeat.

It was silent for a few minutes and El thought Mike had fallen asleep, but then he spoke, his voice just above a whisper.

“El?”

“Yeah?”

“I, um, I wanted to ask you something.”

From her position on his chest El felt him swallow hard, another thing he did when he was nervous.

“Sure,” she replied, trying to sound reassuring.

“You know how you said you used to practice every night, to try to get your… abilities back?”

El frowned; it wasn’t what she had been expecting, and now she was curious. “Yeah,” she said.

“Um, why - if you don’t mind me asking… why did you do that?”

It was an entirely fair question, one El had asked herself many times, in those quiet, lonely moments that kept her up late at night. She’d never been able to come up with an answer; or one that made sense to her, anyway, let alone Mike. 

“I guess I…” she began, grateful again for the cover of darkness, which made it easier to say difficult things. “I felt like my powers were what made me _ me_. Like they were a part of me, and then they just… got taken away.” 

She felt Mike nod slightly, encouraging her to go on.

“And I wanted to have that part again, because I thought it would make me feel complete, or something. But I also…” she trailed off, biting her lip as the realization sunk in, the one she’d tried and sometimes failed to ignore on the worst nights. “I felt like… what was it all for, if I didn’t have them?”

“What do you mean?” Mike asked gently.

“The - the abuse,” El whispered.

She made sure to use the word Hopper had talked to her about, because that’s what it was. Abuse. Neglect. Torture. Papa tried to call it something else, to tell her she was special, or that she was working for something bigger, but that had been a lie — and that was the piece she still struggled with sometimes, because a part of her still wanted to believe him.

“They did what they did to me because of my powers,” she went on, feeling her voice begin to falter. “So when they were gone, it was like there was no point to any of it, and that made me feel… empty.”

There was no discernable reaction from Mike other than his arms tightening around her and one of his hands moving to rub her back, the same way he had earlier in the car.

“I understand,” he said after a while, “I mean I know I don’t, technically, but… it makes sense.”

“Thanks,” El breathed, “And thank you for today, and - everything.” There was more El wanted to say but she held back, afraid of how much she felt in that moment, of everything wound up within her that now felt like it could be released.

“Of course,” Mike replied. “Being here… it makes me excited, you know? For whatever’s next.”

El thought back to watching Nancy and Jonathan in the kitchen and she smiled, wondering if that’s where Mike’s thoughts had been, too. “Me too,” she told him.

El was sure she could feel the unsaid things drifting between them, but it didn’t worry her. There would be more time to talk about all of it; what they thought about when they pictured the future, and whether they included each other in it.

It was fine, right then, to drift to sleep in Mike’s arms, to hear his heartbeat and believe, for as long as she could, that it was enough to keep the bad things at bay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Full disclosure, I know truly *nothing* about guns and had no interest in learning about them in the name of this fic, so there’s a strong chance any language or descriptions I used are inaccurate. I wanted to put that part in because I received the idea as a prompt a while ago (it was given as Nancy teaching Mike to use a gun), and I thought this was a great opportunity to write it.
> 
> Also, the time has come for a final chapter count, so: there will be two more chapters of this fic. One of those might be an epilogue - I’m still undecided on that, but I’ll definitely let you know once the next chapter is out. I apologize for making that announcement so late into the fic, but from chapter 7 onwards, I’ve been writing as I post and therefore also mapping out the story as I go, and everything I have planned after this will likely only take two (relatively long) chapters.
> 
> Please let me know what you thought. I know the fandom is pretty quiet right now, but as always, I appreciate comments. Thanks for reading.


	10. Chapter 10

_ It was the cold El noticed first; that chilling draft indicative of an empty, hollow space. She looked down but there was only blackness, spreading out all around her with no end in sight. _

_ The void. _

_ She was in the void. _

_ She heard faint splashing somewhere behind her, the sound of footsteps wading their way through the thin layer of water that covered the ground. Twisting around, she squinted, trying to identify the figure that was slowly advancing on her. _

_ But then the person spoke, and she didn’t have to see to know who it was. That frigid, calculating voice… she’d recognize it anywhere. _

_ “I’m here, Eleven,” Papa said, finally coming into view, “I’ve always been here.” _

_ “No,” El whispered under her breath, scrambling to grasp his presence before her. He was dressed formally, with a long grey overcoat and black shoes that clacked dully on the ground as he stepped toward her. El gathered the courage to look at his face, unable to help the sharp sting of fear that pierced her lungs. _

_ It _ ** _was _ ** _ him. The man who had kept her captive. The man who stole so much of her life in the name of his own sick agenda. _

_ “You’re not real,” El managed to say, her voice quivering. She hadn’t been in the void in a long time but she remembered it, remembered that it was a place suspended from reality, where nothing from the outside world could reach her. _

_ “Of course I am,” Papa replied, a sinister smile stretching across his mouth. “I know where you are. I can see you, and your friend, too.” _

_ “No,” El interrupted, dread rising like bile in her throat. She began to back away, kicking up water around her. _

_ “It won’t be long now, Eleven,” Papa said, following her movements. “Soon you’ll be back with me, and we can continue what we started together.” _

_ “No!” El shouted. She instinctively raised her hands to cover her ears, something she used to do in the lab when everything was too much, a futile attempt to block the world out. _

_ Papa was closer now, almost overtaking her. _

_ “I won’t go back with you,” she spat, looking up at him. _

_ But he only smiled. “Of course you will. We have to finish what we started.” _

_ And then he was reaching for her, his arm clasping her wrist tightly, pulling her away, back into - _

“El? El, come on, wake up.”

With a deep gasp El lurched forward, her eyes darting around the room as she tried to remember where she was. It took a moment for her to realize there was someone next to her.

“I think you were having a nightmare.”

_ Mike_.

El blinked a few times, slowly able to make out his form in the dark. She groped around until she found his hand, feeling instantly at ease as she clutched her fingers in his.

“Yeah,” she muttered, “I was.”

They lay down, El placing her head back on Mike’s chest. He held her tighter than before, his hand tracing slowly up and down her arm in a soothing motion.

“Sorry,” El muttered, the embarrassment having had a chance to settle in. 

“What?” Mike whispered, “There’s no reason to apologize. It was just a bad dream.” 

El closed her eyes, burrowing her face further into the crook of his neck. The way he could be so understanding, so wholly _ accepting _of her given everything, was nothing short of incredible. She began to drift off to sleep again when she felt Mike clear his throat gently. 

“Who’s, um - is… is Papa -”

El’s breath hitched, and she realized with another flush of shame that she must’ve talked out loud at some point in the nightmare. “Brenner,” she replied quickly, “Yeah, that’s him.”

“Oh.”

“I used to call him that, before - before I knew…” 

When her words faltered, El felt Mike’s lips brush her temple. “It’s okay,” he murmured against her skin, “You don’t have to explain.”

The words El wanted to say in reply came up so quickly that she had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep them in — it was _ way _too soon, but timing didn’t quell the weight they held, the truth in them. Instead she leaned up and kissed his cheek, smiling when she heard him inhale sharply at the contact. 

“Thank you,” she whispered.

* * *

Mike thought he could hear the sound of a phone ringing in the distance, but he couldn’t discern whether it was a part of his dream or not. After El woke from her nightmare he’d had a fitful sleep, tossing and turning as images from that night in the parking lot mingled with dreams of even darker places, more shadowy figures advancing on him.

The ringing faded and was replaced by a soft voice, a series of rapid whispers Mike couldn’t quite understand. He forced himself awake, blinking as El’s face came into view.

“Mike,” she whispered, leaning in close from her perch on the edge of the bed. “Hopper called. He said it’s safe for us to go back.”

In his still dream-like state it took a few moments for the words to sink in, for Mike to remember why they’d come to Nancy’s in the first place — to escape the threat lurking back in Hawkins. He sat up all the way in bed, rubbing his eyes in an effort to seem more alert. El looked exhausted too; she probably hadn’t slept that well either.

“Alright,” Mike said, reaching for her hand, “How did he sound?”

El sighed. “Tired,” she replied, shrugging. “But he said he checked in with the station pretty much every hour, and there’s been no sign of the car or those two guys since late Friday night.” 

There was an expectant look on her face, and Mike dimly realized that she wanted to leave right then. He was surprised — he thought she’d be hesitant to go back, especially since she technically had more of an understanding of what was at stake than he did. But then he thought about the previous morning, how she teared up as she said goodbye to Hopper, and the overwhelming panic that took hold of her when they cleared Hawkins. 

He understood her desire to get back to the only home she’d ever known, but still, with that thought came a kind of sadness. Yesterday, it turned out, really had just been an interlude, a suspension from the troubled reality they were now living in. The false cocoon of safety couldn’t last. He’d brought her there under a pretense that was always only temporary — they had to go back.

Mike nodded, trying his best to seem reassuring. 

“Okay,” he said, “You pack up our stuff. I’ll go wake Nancy.”

* * *

Less than an hour later — after Nancy _ insisted _on feeding them breakfast, even though Mike made it clear they wanted to hit the road right away — they were loading their bags into the car, Nancy fretting behind them.

“Are you sure, Mike? Why not just stay until the afternoon? You might get stuck in traffic or something.”

Mike sighed, raising a warning eyebrow at his sister. “We can’t. El’s got… we’ve got stuff to deal with. We’ll be fine, don’t worry.”

She seemed to hold back whatever response she’d had at the ready, and Mike watched the fight ebb out of her a little as she crossed her arms, studying him closely.

“Fine,” she muttered. She reached out and gave his arm a squeeze. “Just… be careful, okay?”

Mike looked back at El, who was ready and leaning against the passenger door. “I will.”

They said their goodbyes, and a few minutes later they were pulling away, Nancy waving from the front steps with Jonathan at her side. As he watched them in the rearview mirror a knot formed in Mike’s stomach, as though his instincts were kicking in, telling him that they were doing the wrong thing by leaving maybe the only safe place they had right now. 

When he turned towards the highway he glanced at El but her expression was unreadable, like the relief Mike expected to see was struggling to make it to the surface.

The drive was quiet, the traffic thinning out considerably as they veered off toward the two-lane highway back to Hawkins. At one point El reached over and clasped Mike’s hand in hers, but otherwise they didn’t talk much. Mike had the feeling there was nothing helpful or useful he could say, and he could tell El was lost in what were probably anxious, confusing thoughts. 

They arrived at the cabin to find Hopper’s Blazer parked off to the side, nestled near a patch of tall grass and brush. Mike noticed that a cluster of dark sheets and blankets were thrown over the top, draping down the sides and covering up to the door handles. It dawned on him that Hopper was trying to hide the car from view, or at least hide the fact that it was a Hawkins P.D. vehicle, and the realization made the knot in his stomach twist uncomfortably. He looked at El from the corner of his eye, trying to discern if she understood it too.

But he didn’t have time to ask, because a moment later the sound of a door slamming made them both wince, and Mike turned to see Hopper jogging down the porch steps.

He barely unbuckled his seatbelt before El had flung her door open and was rushing toward him. Despite his nerves it made Mike smile, watching the relief that so visibly took over Hopper’s face as he wrapped El in a tight hug. 

Even from his vantage point next to the car Mike could tell how wholly exhausted he was; he looked the same as the previous morning, his eyes rimmed red and his clothing rumpled, unkempt. 

When their embrace broke Mike cautiously made his way to them, offering Hopper a weak smile.

“Thanks, Mike,” Hopper muttered.

Mike only nodded, feeling too overcome by the gravity of what that thanks was for to say anything.

The three of them stood there awkwardly for a moment, and although Mike hated the thought of leaving El’s side, he knew it was time for him to go. 

“I better head home,” he offered, noting the instant worry that took over El’s face.

“If you want to come in for a minute…” Hopper said, jabbing a thumb over his shoulder toward the cabin. 

But Mike shook his head. “Thanks, but, um… I should probably show my face at home, at least for a little bit.”

Hopper seemed to accept that, and he glanced quickly between Mike and El before stepping forward to clap a hand on Mike’s shoulder. “See you later, kid.” 

He turned away and was already up the porch steps before Mike could think of an adequate reply. He was left helplessly looking at El, and he swallowed hard when her eyes began to brim with tears. 

“Hey, come here,” he said gently, holding his arms out. “I’ll be fine,” he murmured as she folded herself into them.

She looked up at him, her eyes stern despite the tears that were now falling. “Promise?” 

Mike nodded, hoping to belie what he really felt. “Promise.”

El stayed burrowed into his side as he walked back to the car, letting go only when Mike opened the door. 

“I’ll call you as soon as I get home,” he said, and though El nodded, she bit her lip in worry, his words clearly not offering any comfort. He turned to slide into the driver’s seat when he was suddenly struck with an idea. “And if I don’t call within an hour…” he said, reaching across the console to the glove compartment. 

He rifled through it, looking for the pen he knew he kept in there, and some kind of paper he could write on. A moment later he found an old pamphlet for the county fair and grabbed it, closing the door and pressing it against the driver’s side window as he began to scribble. “Then you can call Lucas. He lives a few houses down, and he’ll be able to see from his bedroom window if my car is there or not.”

He finished writing Lucas’s number and turned back to give it to El, relieved to see that she’d stopped crying. She took the pamphlet and glanced down at the numbers. “Okay,” she murmured, “I’ll wait for your call.”

Something powerful came over Mike and he moved closer, reaching down to cup her face. He waited for her to meet his eyes again before kissing her, his already racing heart beating even more wildly at the soft, insistent way her lips moved against his. He wanted nothing more than to keep kissing her for as long as he could, but somewhere in the back of his mind he weighed the fact that it was likely Hopper could be watching from the window. 

When he pulled away El was breathless, and it was evident she’d gotten just as lost in it as him. “I’ll see you soon, okay?” Mike whispered, reluctantly reaching behind him to open the car door again.

“Yes,” El said as he climbed in, “Soon.”

As Mike started the car he was aware of the words catching in his throat, the ones that had wound their way through his mind all of yesterday, and especially last night. The ones that still felt too premature and yet so right, so undeniably powerful.

El stood there as he backed the station wagon up, clutching the pamphlet against her chest. She gave a small wave and Mike returned it, that same horrible knot he’d felt when they left Nancy and Jonathan’s returning with far more intensity.

He bit his lip, keeping his eyes on her for a lingering moment before shifting into drive and heading back down the dirt road.

He didn’t look back.

* * *

El’s hands were clenched into fists, the pamphlet crumpling yet again as she paced back and forth across the cabin’s small living room.

“El, would you _ please _sit down?” Hopper begged. 

He was perched on the arm of the couch and El glanced at him, taking in his furrowed brow, a telltale sign of frustration.

“It’s been over an hour,” she said, sounding angrier than she’d meant to, “He said he’d call within an hour.” 

Hopper sighed. “Look, he might’ve gotten caught up talking to his parents. I’m sure they weren’t too happy about his impromptu trip to the city.” 

But El shook her head. The moment Mike’s car veered out of sight she’d had a bad feeling, a gut instinct that something was off. She tried to put it out of her mind as she unpacked and caught up with Hopper, but when half an hour passed with no call, the feeling flared up like a smoke alarm, demanding and insistent.

“No, something’s wrong,” she told Hop, “He wouldn’t let that happen. He wouldn’t forget.” 

“What do you think happened, huh? Those guys from the other night showed up at his house and kidnapped him in broad daylight?” 

Hopper scoffed, but the words only made El’s panic deepen, her mind instantly casting a frightening image of the scene he described.

“Don’t say that,” she spat, pacing even faster now.

“El, I meant what I said on the phone,” Hopper replied, his tone softening a little, “I never would’ve told you guys to come back if I didn’t think it was safe. There’s been no sign of them, or of Brenner.”

But it was no use. El looked down at the pamphlet, at Lucas’s phone number written in Mike’s characteristic messy scrawl. 

“I’m calling him,” she said, crossing the room towards the phone before Hopper could stop her.

Hopper shot up from the arm of the couch, following closely behind her. “Calling who? His friend? El, I don’t know if that’s…” 

The determination on her face must’ve been enough to stop him, because he trailed off the instant El turned to look at him.

“I have to know if he’s okay.”

Hopper only nodded solemnly in reply.

Eyeing the pamphlet, El dialed the number, trying her best to breathe evenly as the phone rang. She had no idea what she was going to say, nor did she have time to reckon with the fact that Lucas would probably find it very strange to be receiving a call from her. 

“Hello?”

A young girl’s voice picked up, which startled El for a moment before she vaguely remembered Lucas mentioning something about a younger sister. 

“Uh - hello,” she said, raising her voice ever so slightly, “May I please speak to Lucas?”

There was a giggle, and then some shuffling before El heard the girl shout, “Lucas! Your girlfriend’s on the phone!”

El closed her eyes, grateful that she had apparently been able to pass as Max in that split second. There was more giggling and more shuffling, and then Lucas’s voice came through the phone.

“Max? Okay before you say anything, I _ know _I promised I wouldn’t be late to pick you up this time, but my mom made me help her with -”

“Oh - Lucas, no, hi… it’s - it’s El.” 

There was a pause before he spoke again, evidently confused. “El? El as in Mike’s girl- or, um… El from Benny’s, El?”

In any other scenario she would’ve laughed, but El just nodded to herself, clutching the receiver so tightly her knuckles went white. “Yeah, El from Benny’s. Listen, um… I know this is weird, but could you check if Mike’s car is in his driveway? He said you’d be able to see it from your bedroom window.”

Another pause. “Oh, um, yeah… sure. So I guess you guys are back from visiting Nancy then? Usually Mike would tell at least one of us about something like that, but… I guess Mrs. Wheeler was pretty pissed, she called my mom -”

“Lucas!” El shouted, unable to hold back. She couldn’t let him know the gravity of the situation, but she also couldn’t help her desperation to know if Mike had made it home. “Sorry, um, yeah it - it was kind of last minute, I… could you please just check? If that’s okay?”

“Sure, El,” he replied after a moment, still sounding confused, “Gimme a sec.”

It felt like the longest wait of her life, those thirty seconds or so that Lucas was away from the phone. El glanced behind her to where Hop was standing, his brow furrowed like before, but this time in concern rather than annoyance. Her heartbeat reverberated up into her throat, her mouth going dry, and she tried to will that bad feeling away, hoping with everything in her that it was wrong.

She winced when Lucas’s voice returned, breathless. “Alright - sorry about that, I had to run upstairs. But no, his car isn’t there.”

El froze. “Are you sure?”

“Yep. He always parks it at the end of the laneway, so I’d definitely see it. I mean, he might be at Will’s or Dustin’s or something, who knows. Is… is everything okay?”

He barely finished talking before El slammed the receiver down, whipping around to face Hopper in a full-fledged panic. “He’s not there.”

She didn’t realize she’d stumbled until Hopper caught her, righting her and placing both hands on her shoulders. “Kid, listen to me - let’s think this through. I can call the station right now, I’ll ask for -”

“No,” El replied, wrenching from his grasp, “I need to go, I - I need to look for him.” 

She made a move for the front door but Hopper grabbed her, tugging her back firmly by her arm. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?!”

El struggled against him, but it was no use. She sunk down onto the floor, the horrible feelings she’d been trying to suppress rushing out in an instant. She couldn’t catch her breath fast enough, and Hopper sunk down with her, shifting so that he was holding her in a tight embrace as she gasped and cried.

He began to murmur a string of comforting words in an attempt to soothe her, the way he usually did when she was in this kind of state. But his voice sounded far away to El, drowned out by another one somewhere in the back of her mind — the same voice that haunted her nightmares. 

_ It won’t be long now, Eleven. _

An image of Papa speaking those words swam into her vision, the way he’d stalked through the void’s darkness in her dream the night before.

_ The void_. 

El lurched forward so hard that Hopper fell back, shouting in surprise.

“_Jesus _kid, what the -”

“I know how to look for Mike.”

She turned around, shuffling until she was kneeling in front of him. “The void.”

Hopper’s face twisted in confusion. “I thought that…” 

“I can try,” El said, the words coming out hoarse, her throat still constricted with fear.

“I have to try.”

* * *

Despite El’s protests Hopper insisted on being in the room, wanting to be there to supervise in case her attempts at reaching the void harmed her somehow. El understood, but the idea of letting him sit in on something she’d intentionally tried to hide from him for so long was nerve-racking. But she forced that thought from her mind as she tied the blindfold around her eyes, because right then only one thing mattered.

Finding Mike.

She told Hopper to get static going on the small pink radio and he obliged, fiddling with the buttons until that familiar crackle emitted from the speakers. 

_ It’ll work this time, _ El chanted silently as she leaned back against her bed, _ It has to work_.

She took a deep breath. Instead of trying to make her mind blank like usual, she decided to envision her dream from the night before; that subtle slip into the endless black, the dark shimmering water beneath her feet.

The image of the void formed clearly in her mind, but she still felt distinctly present in her bedroom, rooted to the worn wood floor beneath her. Sighing, she focused harder on the radio static, the rise and fall of her chest, her heartbeat relentlessly pounding against her ribcage.

“Come on,” she whispered out loud.

A few seconds later the radio static ticked up a notch, as though Hopper had somehow increased its volume. El stayed in that image of the void, allowing only one thought, one refrain to echo in her mind.

_ Mike_.

She thought about that infamous mop of black hair, the thing that immediately stood out to her when he walked into Benny’s that first night. Next were his eyes, those inquisitive deep-brown orbs that never seemed to lose their hint of kindness. His eyes were what first made her think he was beautiful, _ so _beautiful. She thought about what it felt like to curl into his body; how his warmth engulfed her, shielding from everything that hurt. She imagined his hands, gentle but strong, always holding hers back with equal strength.

She built him piece by piece onto the blank canvas of the void, and in doing so, something shifted, pulling her towards that previously untouchable space in her mind.

And then in an instant, she was there — not in her dream but _ there_, in the void. A quick glance down at her clothing told her it was true and happening in real time, and she whipped around in the empty darkness, searching for a sign of something.

_ “Mike?!” _she called, her voice echoing loudly through the hollow space.

There was a flash somewhere to her left, a split-second blink of light and she followed it, water splashing around her as she ran toward it. As she got closer something began to materialize, and by the time she was a few feet away she realized it was a car — an old, rusted out vehicle, with two people seated up front.

El squinted to get a closer look, and when she did the mirage of it flickered a bit, like a television losing its signal.

_ “Mike?” _El said quietly as she continued to approach. She knew it was useless, but his name was her purpose, the only thing that could keep her there long enough to find him.

_ “Park right here.” _

The voice came from the passenger seat of the car, distant and slightly warped, as though it were underwater.

Someone spoke up from the driver’s seat.

_ “You sure we can get through?” _

The person in the passenger’s seat turned their head. El saw a shock of white hair, the profile instantly familiar.

_ No. _

_ “I see a gap in the fence over there.” _

El hurried to the side of the car, the image of it still flickering, but one look told her what she already knew — that her nightmare had been real, a harbinger of her worst fear.

Papa had come back. And he had Mike.

She lost control then, her breathing coming in gasps as she began to panic again. She caught sight of a figure draped across the back seat of the car and she ran to the other side, trying to get a closer look.

The connection seemed to be getting weaker, the image now flashing in and out for seconds at a time, like the wire connecting her to the void was slowly being severed. Still, it was enough for her to see him lying there, eyes closed, a dark overcoat draped over most of his body.

_ Mike_.

_ “No!” _El screamed. 

She fell to her knees into the shallow water beneath her, her hands grasping at nothing. Helplessly, she watched the hologram flicker even faster, a final burst before she knew it was going to fade out.

_ “Mike,” _ El cried into the darkness, _ “I love you. I’m coming. I love you.” _

The last thing she saw was Papa getting out of the car and slamming the door behind him, and then the image evaporated completely. 

She was left in the blackness for only a moment before a blinding white light pierced through her vision. In a snap she was back in her bedroom, heaving for breath, ripping the blindfold from her eyes as she screamed.

Hopper was right there, pulling her close. “It’s okay, it’s okay, you’re here,” he repeated. 

El was vaguely aware of him wiping the blindfold underneath her nose, the fabric coming away dark with blood.

“Papa,” she managed, “Papa has him.”

Hopper pulled back, and the blatant terror on his face was enough to make El’s heartbeat freeze in her chest.

“What?”

El’s head pounded, her vision hazy and unfocused, but she forced the words out. “The gap in the fence,” she rasped, “We have to go. Now.”

“What fence? El, come on, what are you talking about?”

“The quarry.” 

* * *

_ Pain radiated through every nerve in Mike’s body. He tried to open his eyes but the effort was excruciating; he could only make out tiny slivers of his surroundings. _

_ A car, jostling along what felt like a gravel road. Two people seated in front of him. _

_ He couldn’t make sense of it so he tried to sort through how he got here, what had happened on that stretch of quiet highway near Hopper’s cabin. _

_ Someone pulling up close behind his car, tailing him. _

_ The ill-fated decision to pull over on the shoulder of the road, thinking that maybe they just wanted to pass. _

_ Two figures getting out of the car and rushing towards him so fast, he hardly had time to register it. _

_ Strong arms yanking him from his seat, and then fists pounding everywhere; ribs, stomach, head. _

_ Being shoved into the backseat of a rusted-out car. _

_ Nothing after that, except murmurs from the front seat that he couldn’t discern as he slipped in and out of consciousness. _

_ At one point he thought he heard her — El, calling to him from somewhere far away, as though her voice was travelling through radio waves. _

_ Mike thought he imagined it, her saying she was coming for him. And something after that; the words barely audible, her voice strained, desperate. _

_ I love you. _

* * *

The Blazer nearly toppled over from the speed at which Hopper turned into the quarry’s parking lot, the tires screeching as they sought purchase on the loose gravel. 

Once they stopped, Hopper motioned for El to stay in place. “Let me get out first.”

He removed the gun from the holster on his belt, checking to make sure it was loaded. El caught his eyes and the look that passed between them was heavy with everything unsaid, every fear that was about to come true. 

“Follow close behind me.”

El did as he said, waiting until he’d crossed over to her door before getting out and sidling up next to him. They both saw the rusted out car parked a few feet away, a chill passing through El’s body at the sight of it.

She followed as Hopper walked carefully over to the gap in the fence, glancing around every few paces. They ducked through it and started along the narrow pathway in the trees, the open vista before the quarry just up ahead.

El was still disoriented from being in the void. Yet as soon as they passed through the fence she was flooded with the memory of when Mike brought her here, the thrill she’d felt at the prospect of being alone with him for the first time. She remembered their almost-kiss, how badly it hurt when he’d been so apologetic about it, not knowing the real reason why she pulled away.

How silly all of that seemed now.

Hopper paused at the edge of the clearing and El almost ran into him, lost in thought. She tried to peer around him but he moved his arm to the side, gesturing for her to stay back.

“What is it?”

“I see them,” Hopper mumbled, “And they can definitely see us.”

Fear prickled down El’s spine. “What’s happening?”

Hopper stayed stock still for a few moments. “It looks like… I think they’re waiting for us.”

El heard faint voices ahead of them, followed by some kind of commotion, and then a yelp of pain. 

_ Mike_.

Without thinking she pushed past Hopper, hurrying out into the clearing. He shouted after her but she kept going, running until the figures in the distance came into focus. 

She panicked when she saw that there appeared to be only two people standing there, but then she realized that one of them was holding someone — a limp figure propped up in front of him.

“Mike!”

When the word fell from her lips, she saw who was standing next to Mike. 

Papa had his hands clasped behind his back, his head tilted to one side, as though he was patiently waiting for El to approach. The three of them were perched right near the edge of the quarry, steps away from a deadly drop.

She barely registered the scene before Hopper caught up, standing behind her and wrapping one arm tightly around her shoulders. He held the other out in front of him, pointing the gun directly at Papa.

“Let him go, Brenner,” Hopper seethed, “Or I’ll shoot.”

Papa turned and made eye contact with the man who was holding Mike, giving him a small nod. Keeping a firm grip on Mike, the man reached behind his back and pulled out a gun similar to Hopper’s, pointing it at El’s right shoulder.

“None of that will be necessary,” Brenner said, his voice as cold as ever. “All I need is for Eleven to come with me, and the boy will be left unscathed.”

“No!” 

If El’s shout startled Papa, he didn’t show it. Instead he zeroed in on her, his lips twisting into a sinister smile.

“I knew you’d be able to find us, Eleven. You used your abilities in the void, didn’t you?”

El tried to remain stone faced as he studied her, even as a deep-rooted, powerful fear took over her body. But her silence must’ve told him the truth anyway.

“I knew it,” he said, his sick smile widening ever so slightly. “I knew you were holding them back on purpose. I knew if I just… _ pushed you _ in the right way, you could access them again. And I was right, wasn’t I?”

He took a step forward, causing Hopper to nudge the gun distinctly in his direction. But Papa remained unfazed as he continued to inch toward them, his eyes fixed on El’s. 

“You were always powerful, Eleven. Special. But you can become even more powerful now. We can do it, you and I together.”

Though she tried to hold back El started to cry, hot tears spilling down her cheeks as she shook her head, trying to erase his words as he spoke. Each one made her feel like she was shrinking; like she was once again that small, fragile girl curled up in a hospital gown, locked away in a dark cell. Helpless. Alone. 

“No,” she choked, squeezing her eyes shut, as though that would make him disappear.

“Come on now, Eleven. You can come with me and make this all go away. You can save him - just come with me.”

El heard Hopper cock the gun, and she opened her eyes to see it stop Papa in his tracks just a few feet in front of them.

“Don’t come any closer, you sick son of a bitch,” Hopper said through gritted teeth. 

Papa glanced at Hopper, barely seeming to acknowledge his presence. He met El’s eyes again. “It’s simple, Eleven. You come with me, and the boy lives. You don’t, and he dies.”

El looked at Mike. He was still barely conscious, hanging like a rag doll in the large man’s grip.

When she looked back at Papa it was with a newfound surge of anger, her words coming out sharply as she narrowed her eyes at him. “I’m never going _ anywhere _with you again.”

El swore she saw a glint of sadness pass through his eyes at that, as though his composure had slipped briefly enough for her to catch a glimpse of the disturbed, deranged man beneath his calculated facade. But as soon as it was there, it was gone — and then he turned to his accomplice, giving him another, more pronounced nod.

The man jabbed Mike in the side, causing Mike to jerk forward a little, his head lolling back as a low groan left his mouth. El watched in horror as he came to, blinking slowly.

“El?” he croaked through cracked, bloody lips.

“I’m here,” El called, trying to stop her crying, “I’m here, Mike.”

From the corner of her eye she saw Brenner give another nod, and then the man was dragging Mike backwards toward the edge.

“No!” El screamed, struggling against Hopper’s grasp, “Hop, do something, _ do something _ please!”

But even she could see that the man still had his own gun trained on the both of them; it would be a risky shoot-out at best.

“God _ dammit_… I-I don’t want to hit Mike,” Hopper replied, his voice strained and desperate as he pointed his gun at them. 

El was sobbing uncontrollably now, watching Mike’s feet kick weakly against the dirt. “Stop, wait, please, stop,” he kept saying through futile attempts to wrench free. 

“Shall we do a countdown?”

It was Papa, watching everything take place with his arms crossed casually across his chest, like he used to when he watched El’s experiments through the glass window of the exam room.

“Please, don’t hurt him, _ please_,” El begged.

“We’ll start from three. Just like we used to, right, Eleven? Three…”

El felt like she left her body then, as though the terror and anguish gathered her up and trapped her in her mind. 

She looked at Papa and a film strip began to play in her head, a montage: those endless days in the exam room, cold wires attached to her scalp as she ran through attempt after attempt to hone her powers, make them more precise and strong. 

A scene from the first time she’d blown out the lights flashed in her mind; that sick look of joy on Papa’s face as the fluorescent bulbs above them flickered and died. 

“Two…” 

She thought about the way she’d taught herself, on those dead-silent nights, how to access this scary, unpredictable force within her: with closed eyes, even breathing, and -

“One!”

_"NO!"_

El’s hands shot out in front of her. An electric charge rocketed through them, hurtling full force toward the man in front of her.

Papa.

Brenner.

The force of her powers lifted him off his feet and then he was high in the air, shouting and flailing as he careened out and over the edge, plummeting down into the depths of the quarry, the splash so far below that its sound was dull, muted.

Her hands still outstretched, El let the energy continue to surge, and with it the cliff’s edge gave way, a mess of rocks and soil all tumbling in a rush after Brenner. 

The accomplice had shucked Mike forward as soon as Brenner fell, and, seeing what was happening, Mike rolled and then scrambled toward El and Hopper, barely making it onto solid ground before the whole edge behind him fell away, taking the man with it.

The trees around them swayed violently, and parts of the rock face on the other side of the quarry sheared away, all of it making a great, deafening crash into the water below.

El stayed in place, allowing all of it to release, and as she felt it slowly ebb away, her mind went blank again.

Everything after that came in brief glimpses; a series of disconnected scenes flashing before her eyes each time she blinked.

The blue sky stretched out above her, crisp and hazy in the afternoon light.

_ Blink_.

Hopper kneeling next to her, his hands frantically running up and down her arm, the side of her neck, below her sternum.

_ Blink. _

Mike’s face taking up her whole line of vision; bruised and bloody, his eyes bright and wild. And his voice, murmuring the same words over and over like a prayer.

_ “You saved me, El. You saved me.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking with this if you’re still around. Next chapter is the final one, where we’ll have both the immediate aftermath and an epilogue-type ending.


	11. Chapter 11

The days following the events at the quarry blended together in Mike’s mind, an exhausting combination of trips to and from the cabin and tense conversations with his mom and the Party. They pried and worried, but he held them off by saying that El was having trouble at home and needed him, promising that everything would be okay soon. Saying it over and over almost made him believe it. 

Each time he got into the car for another drive to the cabin, his thoughts inevitably drifted to the image that had stayed at the forefront of his mind since the quarry: El, standing with her arms outstretched, her eyes steady despite how much she was trembling. El, glaring at the target in front of her, blood trickling from her nose as an invisible force surged through her. 

Mike had only heard brief descriptions of her powers, but nothing could’ve prepared him for what it was really like to see them with his own eyes. In his then-delirious state, it had felt like he was watching one of his sci-fi comics come to life, as though the world he knew had suddenly been altered by El’s hands. 

She had a depth of power unknown even to herself, and it was that fact that kept Mike and Hopper on edge those first couple of days — neither of them knew the damage that might’ve been done, or how long it would take for her to fully recover.

They both kept vigil by her bedside, switching out when the other needed rest. When it was Mike’s turn he mostly watched her quietly, his own breath catching whenever hers hitched or slowed down in the natural rhythms of sleep. 

Sometimes he’d sit on the edge of the bed and bend his ear down to hear her breathing, just to be sure. And then he’d stay there for a little while, sliding his hand into her limp one, pressing his lips against her temple.

“I’m right here, El,” he’d whisper, “I’m here.”

* * *

The first time El woke without what felt like a thousand tonnes of weight pressing down on her body, it took her awhile to realize she wasn’t dreaming. There’d been so much slipping in and out of the waking world that she wasn’t sure she could trust her own mind, her surroundings. 

Eventually she found the strength to turn onto her side, startling when she saw Hopper next to her, dozing off in a chair pulled up to her bedside.

Her movements must’ve woken him because a second later his head jerked up and he gasped, blinking rapidly at El.

“You’re awake,” he said, his voice groggy.

She nodded, smiling weakly as he leaned toward her.

“How are you feeling?” 

El took a shaky breath. Her body was sore all over and there was a dull throbbing in the back of her head, as though her brain itself was the main site of injury. 

“Better,” she managed, “Still tired, but… better.”

Hopper’s eyes narrowed with concern but he smiled, reaching to place a hand on her forehead to check her temperature. El’s eyes closed involuntarily at the gesture; it reminded her of the early days at the cabin, when she’d often wake shrieking from a nightmare and Hopper would be right there, reassuring her that she was safe.

When he drew his hand back she opened her eyes and they looked at each other, a silent acknowledgment passing between them.

“Was it a dream?” El whispered. 

She didn’t even know it was a question she had until she said it. Hopper didn’t need to answer; the cold, tight feeling in her chest let her know that the montage piercing through her sleep for the past few days was real. Mike, perched at the edge of a cliff, beaten and bloody; Papa, flying through the air, his screams fading as he plunged toward the quarry’s depths.

“No,” Hopper replied. He covered one of her hands with his own. “It was real. He’s gone.”

Something close to relief passed through El at his words, mingling with that strange, uncomfortable emptiness that lingered at the thought of Papa’s death, at her being the cause of it. She didn’t realize she was crying until Hopper brought his hand up and began brushing her tears away with his thumb.

He didn’t say anything and El was grateful, his sturdy presence all that was needed to pull her through the confusing wave of emotion. 

A few minutes passed, and then with great effort El moved, shifting up a little before resting back against the pillows. “Where’s, um…”

“He’s asleep on the couch,” Hopper replied, huffing a brief laugh. “We’ve been taking turns keeping an eye on you.” 

Before El could think she was pushing the blankets back, using every bit of strength to sit up all the way. She didn’t care if Mike was asleep — she had to see him, had to know for herself that he was really there, and okay.

But she hardly moved before Hopper reacted, sinking onto the edge of the bed and placing both hands on her shoulders. “Hey, woah - slow down,” he said, “I’ll go get him. You need to rest.” 

El just nodded, the movement enough to make her feel winded. Hopper eyed her carefully as she settled back in place. Just before he stood up from the bed he looked back, his brow furrowing as he lifted a hand to scratch his beard.

“I’m glad you’re okay, kid.” 

His voice was tight, strained, and El realized with shock that he was holding back tears. She’d never seen Hopper even come close to crying. Though it hurt to do so she reached for him, resting a hand on his arm.

“We’re safe now,” she murmured, “We’re okay.”

Hopper nodded quickly, like her words made it even harder to hold back his emotion. “I know,” he whispered, more to himself than to her. “I know, I just - I thought that… I was worried that you might not…” 

Tears welled up again in El’s eyes and she clutched his arm tighter, trying to reassure him the way he had for her so many times before. 

“But I did, Hop. I made it. We both did.”

That seemed to soothe him a little, and he met her eyes again.

“Yeah,” he said, offering a small smile, “We did.”

* * *

“El, he made me _ promise _not to let you go outside. You still need to rest.”

“I know, but we won’t tell him. It’s not going to take long.”

Mike sighed. Hopper had left to check in at the station, insisting — with that infamous fear-inducing glare — that Mike keep a close eye on El and not let her leave the cabin. 

Her strength had been returning steadily over the past few days and she’d been begging Hopper to let her go out for a walk, but he was still too worried — both about her safety and about the fact that she might unknowingly overdo it. Mike agreed; for the most part El seemed like herself again, but he still saw that shadow of emptiness and exhaustion pass through her eyes too often.

But right then those eyes were soft and pleading as she looked at him, causing his resolve to slip.

“What if it’s too much too soon, and… and you get hurt again?” he offered weakly.

El pulled her blankets all the way back and sat up on her knees, inching closer to Mike. “I’ll try for a few seconds, and if nothing happens, I promise I’ll stop,” she replied. She took both of his hands in hers. “I need to know if I still have them.”

Her powers. The force that killed Papa, and that had left her barely conscious for days. 

Mike understood her desire to know if they remained, but he was terrified of something bad happening, not only on his watch but behind Hopper’s back, too.

He sighed again. Cautiously, he looked up and met her eyes, which was a crucial mistake; her adorable attempt at a pouty face was _ impossible _ to say no to. “El…” he began, but even he knew it was a losing battle.

She seemed to sense this, and she leaned all the way forward until their faces were close. “It won’t take more than five minutes,” she whispered, inches from Mike’s lips, “I promise.”

“Okay _ fine_, but I’m holding you to that, because if -”

But El cut him off by closing the gap between them and kissing him, throwing her arms tightly around his neck. The sudden force almost made Mike fall off his chair, and he scrambled to place his hands on her sides and keep them both steady. He hardly had time to relax into the kiss before she pulled back, her eyes alight with excitement.

“Thank you,” she breathed. And for the first time since the quarry she smiled, _ really _smiled in the way Mike loved. 

He couldn’t help but return it, despite the fear that lingered over letting her do this. Before he could change his mind, he tucked his arm around her waist and helped her out of bed.

She was unsteady at first, but by the time they reached the cabin’s front door she seemed to find her footing, holding only onto Mike’s elbow as they descended the porch stairs.

They paused as El looked around, her eyes presumably adjusting to the daylight. It was an idyllic day for mid-November; the sky a crisp blue, the breeze unseasonably gentle. Mike watched El from the corner of his eye, waiting for a cue as to how to proceed.

Guiding him, she walked to the right, toward the chopped wood pile that rested at the side of the cabin. Brittle leaves crunched beneath their feet as they approached. She gave Mike a reassuring nod as she let go of him, walking forward until she was a few feet in front of the pile. He stayed off to her side, breathing evenly in an attempt to quiet the thud of his heartbeat pounding in his ears.

It occured to Mike that if anyone else were to see her like this, they might think she was weak, defenseless. Her thin frame was swimming in the faded sweatpants and large navy crewneck she’d been wearing since that first night, Hopper’s old plaid jacket draped crookedly across her shoulders. Her hair hung limp from having rested against a pillow for so long, and the dark circles under her eyes pointed to her sustained exhaustion. 

No one would know what she was capable of, what she’d survived. They wouldn’t know that she was the bravest person Mike had ever met.

She lifted her arm, and Mike’s breath caught as he watched her train her eyes on the tall pile of wood. Her fingers clenched and shook, her breathing becoming laboured. 

Mike counted the seconds in his mind, each one more agonizing than the next as he braced himself for the worst; that she would collapse, or Hopper would pull up in the Blazer and see that they’d broken the rules. 

But just as he was about to step in and make her stop, a piece of wood near the top of the pile shot up above the rest, rotating in midar. It stayed that way for a few seconds, and then El flung her arm to the left, sending it hurtling toward the forest to the left of them. 

Mike could see that El’s whole body had begun to shook. 

When the wood crashed onto the dry leaves somewhere in the distance she exhaled, making a weak noise of victory as she dropped her hand. She tried to turn but she stumbled, and Mike sprung into action; he caught her just in time as she fell back, guiding her gently down onto the ground.

He wrapped his arms tightly around her, feeling her shaking subside as she took deep, gasping breaths, as though she’d just run a mile. 

“Did you see that?” she rasped, cradling her head back into the crook of his neck. 

Despite his concern Mike grinned, her excitement and pride contagious.

“I did,” he replied.

She tilted her chin up to look at him, and Mike saw that special El smile for the second time that day.

* * *

** _One month later_  
  
**

“El? Mike’s here!”

Hopper’s voice was followed by a sharp knock on El’s bedroom door, startling her from her spot in front of the mirror.

“Coming!” she called back, turning to take in her reflection one last time.

The worn wool sweater Max had helped her pick out at the thrift store was surprisingly comfortable, the red colour still vibrant, contrasting nicely with the small green Christmas trees woven on the front. Max had also leant her a pair of jeans, and showed her a simple way to pin her hair back on one side, which she’d replicated earlier. 

El wasn’t used to this reflection, this image of a girl who looked like she’d fit in easily with other people her age. The somewhat foreign feeling made her nervous, but beneath that was an undeniable excitement, a sense that she was looking at an image that felt like _ her_, or close to it. She exhaled slowly, smoothing her hands over the sweater once more before turning away.

She found Hopper and Mike standing near the front door, exchanging small talk. They both looked back as she approached, Mike’s eyes widening in surprise, which El hoped was for a good reason.

“Ready to go?” she asked, smiling.

He nodded slowly, as though he hadn’t really registered what she said.

“Don’t forget your cookies,” Hopper cut in. He gestured to the kitchen counter, where the tin of homemade sugar cookies they’d made the night before (after a couple of failed, smoke alarm-inducing attempts) were resting.

“Oh, right,” El said, hurrying back to grab them.

Once she made it back to the door and put her coat on, Hopper pulled her in for a hug. 

“Have fun, kid,” he murmured into her hair. “And be back by 11,” he added. His tone dropped to a level that was slightly menacing, and El knew without looking that he was narrowing his eyes at Mike.

A moment later the two of them were out the door, hurrying through the cold toward Mike’s car. Snow was falling in big, white flakes, a reprieve from the blizzard that had whipped through Hawkins a few days earlier.

Once Mike turned the station wagon onto the main road, he reached for El’s hand. “You look beautiful,” he said, glancing over quickly to give her a shy smile.

El blushed. “Thanks,” she replied, scooting across the seat so she could be closer to him. “I’m excited. I’ve never been to a Christmas party before.”

“Hopefully it doesn’t disappoint,” he replied. “I mean, it’s not even really a typical Christmas party, I guess. It’s always just been the five of us in my basement, goofing around and eating way too much of my mom’s baking… well, that’s mostly Dustin.”

The mention of his mom reminded El of something, and though she didn’t want to ruin the good mood, she wasn’t sure when she’d get a chance to talk to Mike alone again. “Your mom…” she began cautiously, “Did you end up talking to her?”

The corner of Mike’s mouth twitched as he mulled this over. “Yeah,” he said after a few moments, “I did.”

“How did it go?” 

Mike sighed, but it didn’t seem to be in a frustrated way. “Better than I expected, honestly,” he replied. “I pretty much just explained how I felt, and she listened. And I could tell she was upset, but she apologized a lot, and at the end she said she was going to talk to my dad.”

“Talk to him how?” El asked gently.

Mike shrugged. “I don’t know - confront him in a better way, maybe, or talk about… separating, or something.” His voice dipped at that, and El instinctively squeezed his hand. “But either way, she said she knows it’s not fair to me and Holly, and she wants to try to fix it somehow.”

El shuffled closer until she was right up against Mike’s side. “I’m glad you talked to her,” she said, placing her other hand on his knee, “It’ll be okay.” 

Mike looked at her, his expression softening just so. “Yeah,” he said, “It will.”

* * *

“Dustin, are you _ sure _ you want to go for another cupcake? You’ve been complaining that your stomach hurts for half an hour now.”

“Who made you the cupcake guardian, Lucas!?”

“I’m just saying, I don’t think the rest of us want to deal with the outcome of what could happen if you have another one.”

“Oh yeah? How about we find out if -”

“Would you two quit it?!” Max groaned, putting a stop to the bickering, “I’m losing brain cells listening to you.” 

From her spot across from El she looked over and rolled her eyes, making El laugh.

“It really never ends with them, does it?” 

Max shook her head. “Better get used to it.”

The Party was sprawled across Mike’s basement, worn out from the events of the past hour: raucous board games, talking and laughter flying in every direction, and of course, as Mike had promised, the consumption of way too much Christmas baking. 

El rested against Mike on one corner of the couch, Max on the other with Lucas at her feet, and Will and Dustin were stretched out next to the coffee table. There’d been talk of putting a Christmas movie on, but no one had initiated; everyone seemed content to just lie there and chat, comfortable in one another’s company.

It still amazed El how safe she felt with these people. The Party. Her friends. 

They hadn’t asked her anything about what had gone on a few weeks earlier, which Mike said he’d explained away as a private family situation. El had decided she would tell them everything eventually, but they had to wait until the dust settled some more, as Hopper had said. 

That was a good thing, because sometimes when they hung out as a group, an idle worry rooted itself deep in her chest: that they might never look at her the same if they knew everything. But each time, with the help of Mike’s reassurance, she was able to let that fear go. She was learning to trust what he had already shown her — acceptance.

The Party talked and bantered for another hour or so, until Dustin announced that his stomach ache had finally won out, and he had to go home to recover. Everyone teased him but he insisted, getting up off the floor with an exaggerated groan of pain.

“I’m your ride, Byers,” he said, nodding at Will. 

They dissipated after that, everyone getting up to collect their things scattered throughout the basement. Tomorrow was Christmas Eve, and as they filed up the stairs, each of them described plans of waking up early to do last minute shopping or wrap gifts, things El was coming to understand were part of typical preparations for the holiday.

Her and Mike brought up the rear, and as they ascended the last few steps he leaned in close to her. “We still have time, if you don’t want to go home yet.” 

She turned to smile at him. “Of course, I’ll stay.”

They walked their friends out, everyone hugging goodbye in the garage and wishing each other Merry Christmas.

Max held onto El the longest. “I’m so glad you’re with us,” she whispered.

It was so unexpected that El had to bite her lip against the sudden sting of tears. “Me too,” she whispered back.

And then they were waving everyone goodbye, watching them disappear into the snowy night.

Mike took El’s hand and led her back into the house, where everything was dark and quiet.

When they got back down to the basement she helped him clean up some of the mess, piling empty wrappers and leftover food on the coffee table. 

When El wandered around to check for any remaining garbage, she noticed something off to the side of the stairs, near the table where Mike’s mom kept the laundry baskets. It was a makeshift curtain of blankets, hanging so that they formed an entrance to what looked like a crawl space.

“What’s that?” El asked, looking back toward Mike.

He followed her gaze, smirking when he saw what she was pointing at. “Oh, the fort? It’s… we built it years ago for a D&D campaign and never bothered to take it down. Holly uses it now, to play in when her friends come over.”

Curious, El walked over to it, squatting down to see that it was indeed a space big enough for a few kids at most. Still, the mess of blankets and mismatched throw pillows made it look cozy, and she couldn’t help her desire to crawl inside.

She turned to see that Mike had come up behind her.

“Can we go in it?”

He seemed skeptical for a second but then he shrugged, conceding. “Sure, I guess so.” 

El went in first, quickly realizing that it was going to be a struggle for both of them to fit. Her head squished uncomfortably against the top even with her knees tucked close to her chest, so instead she lay down on her side, curling into the fetal position. 

Watching Mike attempt to do the same was comical; his long, gangly limbs contorted awkwardly as he shuffled toward her, and it took a fair bit of adjusting before he settled down, facing her. Before getting in he’d turned on an old lamp situated on the table above, so the interior around them was lit with a soft yellow glow. It felt so peaceful, a refuge that existed in some alternate dimension.

El couldn’t take her eyes off Mike. She hadn’t had a chance yet that night to steal some moments and just look at him, to play that game she loved where she waited for him to realize she was looking, and get all flustered when he did. It was her favourite thing; getting to trace her eyes over the very features that had left her so enamoured on that first night at Benny’s — unruly curls, dark, kind eyes, and that imperfect smattering of freckles.

She could tell that he was aware she was doing it, but he didn’t seem to mind, letting her take her time. Their hands were resting inches apart and Mike closed the space, locking their fingers together.

“Did you enjoy your first sort-of Christmas party?” he asked when their eyes met.

El nodded. “I loved it.”

That word made Mike’s eyes widen just so, but El held his gaze, not wanting to shy away from whatever was beneath it.

“El…” he said, his voice notably lower. “I wanted to ask - or, tell you something, actually.” 

“Sure,” she replied, trying to sound reassuring, “You can tell me anything.”

Mike swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “So, before the quarry… you know how you found me, in the void? When I was in the car?” 

El nodded, and he went on.

“I know you told me about that afterwards, but I think - I think I sensed you, when you looked for me there.”

“Sensed me how?”

He gulped nervously again. “I… heard you.”

El had been vaguely following, relishing in that contented trance that came from lying close to Mike, but those words snapped her back to attention.

She knew exactly what he’d heard — _ I love you, Mike _— and had thought about it every day since the quarry. But right then nerves clutched at her throat, forming a knot she couldn’t seem to fit words around.

“Heard me?” she offered, trying to buy herself time to prepare for what this was leading to. “What do you mean, heard me?”

Mike seemed to deflate a little at her words, like he was hoping she’d fill in the gaps, and he wouldn’t have to go any further. “Well…” he started, his eyes darting away for a moment. “I thought I was just imagining things, because I was so out of it. But I swore I heard your voice - and I guess that would make sense, right? Based on what you told me?”

El just shook her head, and he paused before continuing.

“It sounded far away, like it was coming through the radio or something. And you said… do you remember what you said?”

He clutched El’s hands tighter at that, like he was silently telling her that it was okay, that he _ wanted _her to repeat what she’d said in the void that day. Still, El’s nerves gripped her, and all the courage she’d been building up for the past few weeks seemed to disappear.

“I - um, well, I said I was going to get to you,” she stammered.

Mike inched forward, so their faces were that much closer. “Yeah,” he murmured, “And there was something else after that.”

His eyes bore into El’s, and it felt impossible for her to even attempt to find words. “I…” 

But Mike didn’t seem to need her to finish. He freed one of his hands and lifted it to cup her face, his fingers raking through her hair in that way she loved. 

“El…” he began, and his voice was nothing but sure, determined. “I love you too. I love you so much.”

Whatever response she might’ve given was swallowed up as Mike kissed her, his lips as gentle as they were insistent, like he was expending all of his relief over finally having said those words out loud. And El could only hope to return it, kissing him back with equal fervour as she reached to bunch up her fingers in his sweater, pulling him as close as possible.

When they finally broke apart Mike laughed a little, a giddy, childlike grin on his face as he searched her eyes. 

“I love you, Mike,” El said breathlessly, “I know I said it in the void, and I’m sorry I didn’t - I wanted to tell you after, but I -”

But his lips were on hers again, a short, chaste kiss telling her that he understood.

“It’s okay,” he said after pulling away, “I just… you know, wanted to make sure it was real.”

“It was,” El replied, “It is.”

They lay there in silence for a few minutes, Mike’s hand tracing up and down El’s back as she rested her head against his chest, craving that familiar lull of his heartbeat. 

She thought about how this was something that would’ve been in her dreams, on those longing nights after Mike came into Benny’s. Those nights she’d lie awake, imagining a world where she could let him in, let him see who she really was and decide for himself whether he wanted to stay.

It struck her that she was living in that world now; he had stayed, and he loved her, _ so much_, had never given up just like he promised.

“You know,” Mike said after a while, “At some point over this break, we should go on a proper date.”

“You mean somewhere other than Benny’s?” El teased.

She felt Mike nod. “Definitely. Nothing against Benny, but I think we’ve earned an upgrade.”

El hummed in agreement, smiling to herself. “And it’ll have to be during the day, too,” Mike added, “When there’s less of a chance we’ll get attacked by some mobsters in a parking lot.”

They both laughed at that, and El craned her neck to look up at him. “Okay,” she said, “We’ll go when it’s light out.”

She kissed him again after that, catching his smile on her lips.

The rest of Mike’s basement and everything beyond was dark, quiet. It felt like just the two of them in the whole world, huddled in the soft glow of the fort — somewhere amidst the vast darkness, a spark of light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I figured we could all use an ultra-fluffy ending, given the current state of the world. It’s a scary, difficult time right now, and I hope each of you and your loved ones are safe, healthy, and coping as best you can. 
> 
> Thank you, thank you a million times over for reading this story and supporting/commenting throughout. I appreciate it more than you’ll ever know. Please always feel free to come chat with me on Tumblr @maplestreet. Love & well wishes to all of you!


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